


a single thread of gold (tied me to you)

by kakashisninken



Series: scribbles: soulmate au [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: AU where drawing on your skin comes up on your soulmate, Attempts at affection, Awkwardish first dates, Breaking and Entering, Day drinking, Domestic activites, F/M, Holding Hands, If this was an anime it would be under slice of life tbh, Interferring, Jealousy, Kakashi is trying very hard, Mentions of Sex, Other, Puke Mention, Reader Insert, Reader initially dislikes Kakashi, Soulmate AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Spooning, Thievery, Undercover Missions, alcohol mention, alcohol use, all in the name of doing a good thing, canonverse, descriptions of killing someone, descriptions of using weapons to harm, descriptions of violence, drunk kakashi, enemy death, gender neutral reader, giggly kakashi, heart to heart conversations, jonin reader, karaoke bar, learning to love uwu, op doesn’t know what shes doing, part of a series, puking, series sequel to a one shot, suggestive thoughts about a bulge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:48:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 51,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28044189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kakashisninken/pseuds/kakashisninken
Summary: after discovering they’re soulmates, kakashi and reader must figure out how to form a relationship. how does one fall in love with someone they dislike? even if they are their soulmate?sequel series to my one shot scribblessoulmate au
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Reader
Series: scribbles: soulmate au [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2054250
Comments: 113
Kudos: 182





	1. dinner

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy yall we’re back! A couple of you were interested in how these two would form a relationship and ngl I am too so let’s figure it out together!
> 
> Also I’ve decided to keep reader gender neutral (if I’ve made a mistake on that lemme know) so go crazy! go wild!

Fate is funny. Days after Kakashi had found out you were both bound by destiny, you found yourself on a mission spanning a couple of weeks. A couple of weeks to clear your head and truly warm up to it. You did have to hand it to Kakashi, he seemed to be trying his best.

Unprompted, he left you a note for every day you were gone. _‘Don’t forget to eat’_ , _‘Make sure you don’t put your kunai in your back pocket’_ , _‘Stay safe out there’_ among other various things. There was no way to say he wasn’t trying his best to win you over and for some reason that slightly irritated you, hard to pinpoint the exact reason why. Could it be that you spent years waiting for him to write to you first, never doing so once and then all of sudden he’s writing to you everyday? Could it be that his idea of romance seemed to be annoying you into submission? Could it be that he was acting differently than your imprinted impression of him in your mind? You didn't have the energy to pinpoint, instead trying to focus on the mission at hand.

When you had finally made it back to the village, you made your way straight home. Your teammate would take one for the team and relay the mission success to the Hokage while you scrubbed your skin of dirt and blood. Waiting for this morning's note imprinted on your skin to disappear when Kakashi eventually washes them off. _‘Make sure to stay hydrated’._ Like you needed a reminder to do that. 

Sleeping in till eight in the morning was heavenly and certainly what your tired body needed. Slipping on a dressing robe, you started brewing yourself a much needed coffee, ready to take the morning nice and easy. As you poured the coffee into your cup there was a knock on your door, you frowned as you approached it. Who would come knocking at this hour? 

Standing behind that door was one of the Leaf’s best jonin, holding a single gardenia. One of his eye smiles in your direction. “Good morning… soulmate”

“Morning” you took the flower from him, looking around your apartment for a vase sitting on a shelf somewhere, “you really don’t need to call me that”

Rubbing your eye with your free hand, you jumped at a sudden realization. “Wait, how did you know I was back?”

“Oh, I heard one of the guards at the gate talking about it. Anyways, are you going to invite me in?”

“Do I have to?” You asked, screwing up your nose slightly. 

“Well it would be polite, wouldn’t it?” 

You supposed it would be so you nodded at him, moving to the side to let him in and close the door behind him. 

“So, what brings you to my home at this hour?” You grabbed your coffee mug from your countertop and sat on your couch. It was still too early for guests. 

“I had to check in on my soulmate of course, especially after such a long and strenuous mission” Kakashi leaned on the doorframe connecting your living room to your hallway, smiling down at you. At least he cared enough to check in, even if you really didn’t need anyone to do so. 

“Well I’m fine, no need to check in or anything” You said, taking a sip of your coffee. The flower he brought you sat in front of you on the coffee table, you’d find it a home after you finished your coffee. 

“I was thinking we could go to dinner tonight”

If you hadn’t had just swallowed your mouthful of coffee, you would have spat it out all over yourself. You should have known he would want to start working on the relationship between you as soon as you stepped foot inside the village again. No time like the present right?

“Dinner? Like a date?” You had asked, eyebrows raised at the suggestion, slightly panicked at the idea.

Kakashi nodded, confirming your worst thoughts. A big part of you wanted to laugh at the invitation, you wouldn’t be caught dead having a friendly dinner, let alone a date, with Kakashi Hatake but he was your soulmate and you agreed you’d take the time to be open to it.

“And will my soulmate be buying this dinner or will he conveniently forget his wallet?” You asked him. 

“I think your soulmate will have his wallet tucked into his vest pocket to ensure he won’t forget it” Kakashi smiled with his eye, patting his vest pocket to try and assure you he truly wouldn’t forget. 

“Alright, come by here at seven then” you accepted, “Oh and if my supposed soulmate is late by ten minutes then he can go to dinner alone”

“Noted.”

Kakashi took this as a sign to leave before he pushed his luck any further, giving you a wave before he let himself out. You sunk into your couch, taking another sip from your mug. What did you just sign up for? 

* * *

Kakashi was four minutes late when he finally turned up. Bringing with him a full bouquet of flowers instead of a single one this time. Your eyebrows rose at the sight of it.

“Sorry I’m late, I saw these beautiful flowers and was thinking of you when I got carried away with the time”

You scoffed as you took the bouquet of white gardenias. If he keeps giving you flowers, your apartment is going to look like a new Yamanaka flower shop has opened up. Still instead of one, he brought you twelve and that had to count for something. 

“Thank you for those” you said through gritted teeth, trying to smile at the gesture. It was a sweet gesture after all only now you were going to be forced to find another vase. 

Kakashi was generous enough to allow you to pick the restaurant. Ichiraku Ramen was fine for what this was. Technically this was a first date but for you this was the first proper test between growing a bond with your soulmate. And besides, if Kakashi didn’t actually bring his wallet then the bill wouldn’t be so brutal to pay for. 

The two of you pulled up a stool at Ichiraku. You chose the beef broth ramen with a char sui topping while Kakashi chose the miso ramen with black peppered tofu for his topping. 

“So, how was your mission?” Kakashi asked, trying to start a conversation with you after you had finished ordering and pushed the menu back towards Ayame. 

“It was pretty standard. Typical bandits terrorising small village stuff” You said plainly as you rested your chin on your hand.

It was pretty boring compared to other missions you had been on. A B-Grade mission but at least it was nice to get out of the village and focus on your duties instead of your village life. You looked at Kakashi in the corner of your eye. 

“What about you? Been on any missions recently?”

“Yeah, I was on an A-Grade intel mission a couple of days ago. Pretty standard” He said, tapping his fingers gently on the countertop.

You sighed, wondering when all of this was meant to be getting easier. Did anyone else have these sorts of awkward getting to know you periods with their soulmates? Or is it mostly instant love and connection? Either way you felt slightly sorry for Kakashi. He was trying to talk to a brick wall and that was on you for not being as open as you should have. Pride was holding you back and you were fully aware. You had disliked him so long, it was hard to swallow it and become so receptive to his efforts. 

“Did you get my notes?” Kakashi asked.

You smiled, wondering when he was going to bring that up. “I did”

Amaye had placed the two meals in front of you thankfully, you grabbed your chopsticks on your side and quickly started to dig in. 

“And?”

You could feel he was just trying to wind you up, having no idea why he took such pleasure in it. Then you remembered how much pleasure you felt when you did the very same. Maybe you had a lot more in common than you realised. 

“They were very helpful, thank you,” You said, a fake smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

“No problem at all… soulmate” 

“Kakashi! What did I say about-“ You were about to berate him when another voice interrupted you instead.

“Kakashi” a voice said out of nowhere.

Both of you turned around on your stools to see Maito Gai standing behind you. A wide smile on his face as he continued to speak. 

“I thought I noticed those sandals of yours. And this pretty little thing must be that soulmate of yours you were talking about”

“Gai!” Kakashi warned only for it to fall on ears that just weren’t listening. Suddey he wished he had the hindsight to have known Gai would have blabbed about it the moment he told him.

“Well, (Y/N) it’s good to finally meet you. Not just as a fellow comrade but as the soulmate of my eternal rival. I hope you take care of his heart and I wish the both of you nothing but a long, fulfilling life together” Gai had a twinkle in his eye and a thumbs up headed in your direction.

This wasn’t exactly your first encounter with Konoha’s Blue Beast. In fact you were acquainted enough to know how enthusiastic he truly gets but still you were slightly taken back, wondering if Gai actually had any clue about the actual situation you and Kakashi were in. He must have assumed since you found each other, you were together and that was that. Well, that was if Kakashi had told him that was the situation that is. If he knew then that must mean the whole village would find out soon enough. 

“Thanks” you smiled politely, unable to add anything of substance except that. 

“Yeah, thank you for that Gai” Kakashi added in, sounding displeased that his friend pretty much just exposed the fact he had been talking about you to someone else. 

“No problem!” Gai said, “I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it”

Gai left Ichiraku, heading down the street in a fast stride. You watched and waited until he had disappeared out of sight around the corner, finally able to speak without any listening ears. Turning to Kakashi, you leaned towards him. 

“You told him?” You said in a tone reserved for the two of you, still irritation was quite visible in your voice. 

“Well, yeah. He is a close friend after all” Kakashi said, rubbing the back of his head a little nervously. 

“That's...just great” You sighed, trying to get back to your meal. 

“Why? Haven’t you told anyone?”

“I have no one to tell, I guess” You shrugged, taking a sip of water. 

The truth was you weren’t exactly ready to tell others yet, you wanted to wait for when you two had navigated things properly. You were generally a private person and the least people who knew about it meant it would be easier to figure this all out. 

You weren’t concentrating on Kakashi, you were looking anywhere except him. At your bowl, at the decor, at your glass of water, at the stovetop behind the counter. When turned to look back at him, you noticed his eyes glued onto you. Your eyes widened, confused as to why he was staring. Quickly you looked behind yourself before looking back at him.

“Are you alright?” You asked, one eyebrow raised. Feeling slightly uncomfortable at the length of his stare. 

“Oh yeah, I just think you look quite beautiful under the light” he said so casually, finally returning to his meal.

Letting out a puff of air out of your nose, you could feel yourself faintly smiling, shaking your head gently as you returned to your meal. If you were younger maybe you would have blushed at his words. He was such a sweet talker.

“Hey!” Another voice yelled into your direction, one not belonging to Gai. 

Great more people. You turned your head slightly to see a group of the guys standing outside Ichiraku Ramen. Genma, Asuma, and Raidō were among the group who you imagined were heading to the bar for some off duty drinks. Ignoring them you went back to your meal before it went cold.

“Kakashi” Genma waved at Kakashi, approaching him and slapping a hand on his shoulder, “Hey man, you coming to drinks tonight?”

You were too busy eating and watching Genma and the guys approach that you forgot that there was one more person accompanying them to the bar. 

“(Y/N)?” Anko said upon seeing you sitting on the stool next to Kakashi. Eyes wide in disbelief.

Never in her living, breathing life did she think she’d see you sitting next to Kakashi Hatake. Always receiving your Kakashi hate when you were four drinks deep at the bar. Now you were sitting next to him, at a restaurant nonetheless. 

“Oh, god” You mumbled to yourself, turning your back on her quickly. 

“What are you doing here? I thought you hated Kakashi” she had rushed to you, murmuring to you so only your ears could hear, “did you need me to fake an emergency?”

“No, no it’s fine” you waved her off, not needing her to interfere. 

Usually you would take her up on it, the amount of the times she had saved you from some guy hitting on you at the bar with the good old fake emergency tale but you didn’t need it this time. You could handle Kakashi yourself if need be.

“Wait, wait. There is no reason you would be alone with him unless he…oh my god...is he your soulmate?” Her hand came over her mouth, gasping at the question she asked.

It was such a strange conclusion to come to. You could have been sitting next to each other coincidentally after all and yet she nailed it right on its head first go. 

“I mean, yeah but it’s complicated-“ 

“Anko! You coming?” The guys had stopped talking to Kakashi, instead they waited outside Ichiraku Ramen in a group waiting to go back on their journey to the bar. 

“I want to hear everything!” Anko said as she walked away. A promise even if you had never agreed to it. 

As the group walked down the street out of sight, you sunk back into your meal. Playing with the noodles in your bowl while you became lost in thought. For years you didn’t know the identity of your soulmate, after figuring it out months ago it did feel like a relief that Kakashi knew now too. But since then you had hoped it would be something kept between just the two of you as you figured out how to navigate all of this. Now it _truly_ felt like the whole of Konoha knew. You wouldn’t be surprised if the Hokage herself congratulated you the next time you saw her. 

“I guess the cat is out of the bag huh?” Kakashi said, one hand gripping his chopsticks and the other around the top of his mask to rip it down and slap it back on between bites. 

“You could say that” You sighed, picking up some noodles with your chopsticks. Considering them for a moment before you put them in your mouth. 

“You sound upset, you’re not embarrassed of me are you, (Y/N)?” Kakashi asked, lightly chuckling.

“No! It’s just… everyone’s going to make a big deal about it when they shouldn’t” You said, keeping your eyes to your bowl.

It was silent as the two of you ate. You just wanted to eat your meal in peace. It was a pretty good meal, you had missed take out while out on your mission. Kakashi had finished his own meal way before you did, you figured with the mask he had to eat quickly. He was patient, happily silent while you ate. 

As you ate you thought more about this soulmate thing. Kakashi was really trying, more than you ever would. You would have never thought to take him to dinner, you would have never thought to bring him flowers. Typically these are all gestures to show someone you want to put in the effort. Maybe it was time you started giving him some leeway. 

“Kakashi?” You looked at him, instantly his head spun in your direction. 

“Yes?” He answered, blinking as if you had woken him up from his own daydream. 

“You’re actually trying really hard, why?” 

Kakashi took a deep breath, thinking for a moment before he met your gaze. Staring into your eyes for another moment before he spoke. 

“I’m just trying to change my soulmates opinion of me, that’s all” 

After you had finished your bowl, not feeling the need to indulge in seconds, the bill slid in your direction. Looking at Kakashi, he smiled as he dug his wallet out of his vest pocket and held it up to show you he meant his word. You felt a faint smile form on your lips. 

The walk home was in relative silence, strangely comfortable as you walked side by side. It wasn’t until you turned the corner to your street that you felt a hand sneakily slide into yours, his fingers trying to entwine with yours. 

“Woah! What are you doing?” You jumped back spooked, Kakashi’s hand came away from you, now back to his side where it belonged. 

“I just thought maybe since we’ve kissed before-“ Kakashi had tried to explain before you cut him off. 

“That was just a… I don’t know, a spur of the moment thing” You said, rubbing the back of your neck awkwardly. 

Yes, you kissed. Once. Put it down to that strange magnetic attraction between soulmates. Still you weren’t rushing to kiss him anytime soon let alone hold his hand.

“Let’s just take it slow, yeah?”

“If you say so… soulmate” Kakashi said with a smile. By now he definitely knew that little nickname drove you crazy and not in any good way. 

He had walked you to your door and you jiggled around the key in it’s lock as you attempted to open your front door. Finally getting your key in the right spot, your front door opened and you made your way inside. 

Kakashi stood outside, waiting for an invitation if you were going to give it to him. However you hadn't planned on it, completely drained of social energy for one night. 

“You know, I had a decent time tonight…” You said, surprised the words had come out of your mouth but it was true. Despite everyone coming along, dinner with Kakashi wasn’t actually all that bad. 

“Yeah? Me too” Kakashi said to you, glad that the feeling was mutual.

“Anyways, I’ll see you around...”

Not exactly the farewell you’re meant to give your soulmate but it was fitting enough for you. Kakashi had smiled, giving you a wave as he leaped onto the railing of the stairs coming up to your apartment. He disappeared in a cloud of smoke and you closed your door, taking off your vest and throwing it on your couch. 

You sunk into the cushions, staring ahead at the bookshelf in front of you. One shelf contained all of your liquor and you considered whether or not you should sink a glass of sake just for the hell of it.

Rubbing your eyes, your hand flopped onto your lap afterwards. Still considering the liquor shelf when a black spot on your wrist caught the corner of your eye.

 _Sweet dreams, soulmate_. 


	2. undercover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi and Reader go to a fancy party undercover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy! I have written two different versions of this chapter and I couldn’t decide what fit best but I decided this was the best 🥴 anyways today I bring you late Kakashi, a fancy party, slight jealousy and kakashis bare face?

“Congratulations (Y/N)!”

When you walked into the Hokage’s Office, Shizune smiled at you kindly while she held Tonton in her arms. You weren’t too sure why she was giving her congratulations nor why the Hokage herself hid a smile behind her hands.

“For what?” You asked, your eyes narrowed as you wondered what Shizune could be congratulating you for. You hadn’t done anything exactly worthy of a congratulations recently. 

“Uh… for finding your soulmate of course” she said, this time a bit more deflated. You guessed she wasn’t anticipating that sort of reaction. Any normal person would be happy to find their soulmate. 

You let out a sigh and a quick shrug of your eyebrows. “Yeah, thanks”

“My mission?” You asked, not wanting to stick around for chat about soulmates and the lucky guy who your soul was connected with.

“Security at an event. Party for a Feudal Lord but there’s a chance a threat will turn up so you’ll have to be among the crowd undercover” Lady Tsunade informed you. 

“Am I going alone?”

“No, your partner should be here…” Lady Tsunade glumly stared at the clock on the wall in front of her, “...some time soon”

Suddenly there was a quick knock on the door and you turned to see white hair poking through the gaps as the door opened wider. You instantly turned back around, the light expression on your face turning into a frown. Kakashi. 

_Last night flashed before your eyes. Sitting alone when Anko went to the bathroom or maybe she went to buy another round. You weren’t sure but you knew she wasn’t next to you. That’s when Kakashi waltzed right up to you._

_“You know I’m going on a pretty dangerous mission tomorrow, might just be my last….” He had said, standing across from your table._

_“Wow, my hero…” You had said with your head turned away, bored and uncaring._

_“If it’s my last night on earth then I can’t think of any other person I’d like to share it with”_

_“Did you read that in one of your pervert books?” Your head finally snapped to him, one eyebrow raised as you asked._

_“Y/N…” Kakashi pleaded, hoping you’d come around._

_“Have a safe mission…soulmate”_

_You barely even looked at him as he walked away, sipping on your drink while you looked for Anko. As he left, you glanced to the door, watching him give you a little wave._

Now he was standing in the Hokage’s Office right next to your side. Glancing over to Shizune, she was trying to hide her smile. Probably smitten two ‘lovebirds’ were side by side. Then there was Kakashi who smiled with his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck. You knew some lame excuse was coming. 

“Ah, sorry i’m late. I saw a cat stuck in a tree and had to help get it down or else those poor kids would have just kept crying”

“Ugh, please” you scoffed, mumbling to yourself though you knew he probably could hear you. 

“I’ve already relayed everything to (Y/N), Kakashi” Lady Tsunade said directly to Kakashi. Then she turned to you, slipping a file in your direction, “(Y/N), you’re free to go”

You grabbed it from her desk, leaving the room with a nod towards Shizune and Lady Tsunade. Ignoring Kakashi as you closed the door behind you. 

* * *

The idea of being undercover at a fancy party for a Feudal Lord was a little overwhelming. As a shinobi, you get your hands dirty every day. It felt out of place to be at such an event. You tried to shift your focus to the mission itself, you weren’t there to have fun.

You started getting ready in the afternoon. Upon coming out of the shower you noticed black ink appear on your skin. _Meet at the gates in an hour! Don’t be late!_

You were already worried about getting ready on time and this sent you into overdrive. Quickly putting on your robe and strapping a couple of kunai to your inner legs. Rushing down to the gates ten minutes early to assure you wouldn’t be late. 

The last four minutes of your time allowance was spent waiting by the gates and putting yourself together. Flattening your hair and straightening out your attire while you looked out for Kakashi. After ten minutes of waiting, your ride arrived. The driver tried to help you inside but instead you continued to wait like a fool, the horse becoming antsy as more time went on. 

Finally approaching the gates, and rather slowly, you saw Kakashi. Twenty minutes late. You felt slightly irritated, everyone had turned up on time but not him, he just comes whenever he wants. Not to mention the note he left on your wrist telling you to _‘not be late’_. Idiot.

“Where the hell have you been? You said don’t be late” You demanded to know, holding your wrist up to show him the note.

“Sorry about that, I got a little lost on the way here” he smiled with his eye. Infuriating.

You let out a deep sigh, one foot on the step to get yourself into the carriage and just head off already. “Whatever, these people have been waiting on you. We’re leaving right now” 

“Now just wait one second, (Y/N),” Kakashi said as he finally reached the carriage. 

You froze while mid step, turning your head slightly back to him. “Yeah? What?”

“I’m leading this mission so I say when we leave and when I say something, you do exactly that. You wouldn’t want to disobey an order now, would you?” Kakashi smiled, his index finger in the air as he wagged it around. 

Was he actually pulling rank over something as small as this? You set your foot down back on the ground, trying to hide your irritation with a clenched jaw while you stared at Kakashi, waiting for him to give the go ahead.

“After you” he said, his hand gesturing to the carriage steps. 

Kakashi got into the carriage after you, sitting across from you as the carriage quickly left the gates. Now that you were on your way, you finally had the time to take in his appearance properly. 

Upon instruction, you had made sure there was nothing identifying you as a shinobi of the Leaf. Kakashi didn’t have his headband on, his white hair was wild and sticking out in various directions. You hated to think about it but you did like his hair like that. Without his headband, his usual sharingan eye was not hidden away. It was strange to see his other eye, coming out only on certain occasions besides battle. Despite it being out, the deep red of the Sharingan was nowhere to be seen, instead it was deep brown like his other. It took you a second to figure it out but you assumed he must be wearing a contact lense. It would be hard to be undercover when your most blatant characteristics were on full display. Speaking of outlining characteristics, the face mask. You were wondering if he was still going to keep it on.

“Something wrong?” He asked, catching your eyes on him.

“No” you huffed, looking out the window instead. 

You didn’t know how long you had been staring out the window, forests and hills had passed you by. It was starting to become darker outside but still light enough to enjoy the view. Turning your head back to an awfully quiet Kakashi, you almost jumped in your seat. His face was bare.

Your eyes widened as you took everything in. His lips, the little beauty spot near his jaw. Kakashi’s head turned to you, a faint smile you could finally see on his lips. He pretended to be so unassuming, like he didn’t know this was going to surprise you.

“Is that what you really look like?” You blurted out, catching yourself at the very last moment.

“Well I can’t go undercover with my mask on, I’d stick out. Why? is there something wrong?” Kakashi asked, still so unassuming.

“No, there isn’t” you said, averting your gaze once more.

He was handsome under there. He was irritating and unpunctual and ridiculously attractive. You let out a big sigh as you continued to look out the window, hoping desperately you weren’t visibly blushing even as you felt heat rise to your cheeks. 

“You know, I think you look quite handsome too” He said out of the blue, causing your head to snap over to him.

 _Too?_ This meant he assumed you thought he was handsome. Not that you didn’t think he was, it’s just you weren’t going to compliment him on that. This wasn’t the first time he had complimented your appearance but still you found a small blush forming on your cheeks. 

Embarrassed, you looked down at your hands. “Thanks” you said quietly.

There were many people arriving as you were. One by one making their way out of their rides and slowly making their way into the venue. It was time to focus on the mission, keep the host and guests out of danger. Kakashi’s bare face was not going to distract you from that, even if you did catch yourself staring at it from time to time. 

Kakashi had helped you out of the carriage, his arm linked in with yours. He was silent as you walked into the place, scoping out exits and guests. Knowing he had switched into Anbu mode, you kept looking ahead trying to assess any danger on your end.

The party was in full swing, you spotted the client mingling with his guests in a corner. Upon entering the room, you were offered a glass of something clear but sparkling and you accepted it as gracefully as you could. No one had really coached you on etiquette coming to a place like this, never having had the privilege to be invited to a Feudal Lord’s party before. Not that you’d want to be, this place seemed too over the top and too flashy for your liking. You snapped back into focus. You were here to fulfill your mission, not to have fun.

“We’ll split up and have a look around, link back up on the occasion to exchange intel. You got it?” Kakashi said in a tone reserved just for the two of you, coming quite close to your face.

“Aye, aye” you said, two of your fingers in a mini salute at your temple. His arm unlinked from yours before he walked away and you found yourself feeling a little empty without the warmth of him next to you, a warmth you had just gotten used to. 

The party itself was quite boring. You just walked around with a glass of wine, listening to conversations and trying to find anyone suspicious in the crowd. Despite that, free drinks on the job were actually pretty great and you made a mental note to brag about this to Anko next time you saw her. The image of her shaking out of jealousy because you could down as much alcohol as your poor bloodstream could handle while on the job made you already smile with delight. 

Well, as much within reason. You wouldn’t want to get sloppy and you really didn’t want a lecture from Mr. Team Captain either. Speaking of Kakashi, your eyes searched the room for him. Spotting him engaging in polite small talk with someone unknown to you in amongst the crowd. 

“Hi there” a voice said behind you.

You had whipped your body around to see the owner of the voice. A man, a very attractive man, stood behind you holding a glass of wine like yourself. Dark short hair, deep brown eyes, dressed sharply. He seemed to hide a smile in his glass as he watched you answer him.

“Hi, can I help you?” You smiled, answering politely. You were undercover and all.

“You just looked lonely standing by yourself over here. Thought you could use the company” 

Free drinks and an attractive guy wanted to keep you company? Anko is going to lose it when she hears about this.

The man’s name was Zurui and he was friends of the friends of the Fedual Lord hosting the party, not that that mattered to you. He said something about owning a well off tea house but you had been too busy looking around to actually be listening properly. Still you pretended to be interested, who knows maybe you could hit it off later. 

It was strange, the appeal of hooking up with someone had started to disappear recently. Your interest in the act had fallen off. You blamed the whole soulmates thing for it. It was sort of a moral predicament. There was a guilt that would rise within you whenever you were close to leaving with some other person, like it was wrong to be going behind Kakashi’s back. Was it wrong to see other people when you knew who your soulmate was? You still hadn’t figured it out, trying to ignore the dilemma as you laughed at one of Zurui’s jokes. Maybe you wouldn’t feel so guilty this time. 

“Oh, there you are my dear, where have you been?” You heard a familiar voice behind you, a hand slid around your waist. Your eyes widened as you turned to your side slowly to look at him. 

Dear? Did he just call you dear? 

“Oh dear, forgive me I didn’t realise you were talking to someone” Kakashi said overly politely, turning his attention to Zurui. 

“Yeah, I was-“ You tried to say through your clenched teeth. 

“Are you going to introduce us?” Kakashi rudely interrupted you but still had that little annoying smile on his face. 

“His name is-“ you tried to say only to get cut off by Zurui. What was up with everyone cutting you off? 

“I’m Zurui. And you?” Zurui smiled, almost seeming intimidated by Kakashi as he clung tightly onto you. 

“I’m their wonderful husband, of course” Kakashi said, looking you in the eyes and smiling. His grip on your waist got a little tighter.

Husband? Husband? You were trying your best not to scream at him. How could he even introduce himself like that? Your eyes widened, trying to think of a way to dismiss Kakashi.

“Oh,” Zurui shifted uncomfortably, your fingers pinched the bridge of your nose as you realised your conversation with him would be over now, “I’ll leave you to it”

You let out a massive sigh as you watched Zurui flee. Stupid Kakashi, he just had to come along and put his nose into everything. 

“Kakashi! What the hell is wrong with you?” You asked him as you squirmed away from his hold.

“It’s time to exchange intel,” He announced. Of course it was. 

“I’m keeping my eye out on a couple of guests but nothing suspicious so far”

“Are you sure you were keeping an eye on the guests?” Kakashi asked as he took a glass of wine from a drinks table, giving you a side eye.

You rolled your eyes. Someone sounded a little jealous but you needed to keep your focus on the mission at hand. “What about you? Do you have anything?”

“No, nothing of importance. We’ll meet up again later” Kakashi said as he walked away, sipping from his glass.

Now you were left without company thanks to him. In an attempt to get over your slight irritation, you downed the rest of your glass and continued to keep an eye on the guests. The two you had kept a close eye on were coming up empty. All they had done was eat and socialise and you had nothing to go on to back up your suspicions. This party wasn’t exactly exciting mission wise, where was the danger? 

You had spent the next half an hour walking around the room, continuing to listen to conversations. The couple glasses of wine that you downed earlier were starting to hit and you felt slightly floaty. Still you tried to keep focus on the mission. Your eyes going between exits and those close to them.

Across the room you spotted Kakashi. Sipping his wine and chatting to someone politely alone. The person he was exchanging conversation with was young and certainly attractive. Dressed to impress and then some. Kakashi looked as if he was enjoying himself, he was talking to a pretty girl after all, he might as well have his tongue hanging out of his mouth. You shook your head, what a pervert. It dawned on you what this little feeling was at the back of your mind, wondering why you felt this weird pang of jealousy. It’s not like Kakashi was yours, only in soul. But didn’t that mean he was yours by default? Shaking it off, your light frown turned into a wicked smile. You supposed it was your turn to ruin his fun, after all you couldn’t leave the favour unpaid. 

“Oh, there you are my dear husband!” You yelled at him as you began to approach him. One hand in a cup around your mouth to amplify your voice.

You spotted Kakashi give a quick glance in your direction only to immediately look back at the woman he was speaking to. Your smile only got wider. 

“Husband dearest, hello!” You said as you reached him, laying on the highest pitch, lovey dovey voice you could. Ignoring the woman standing across from him entirely. 

“Oh I’ve been so worried about you, I thought I lost you,” you said as you placed your hand on his chest and your arm around his waist. “Come, there are some people who want to talk to us” 

Still holding onto him tightly, you dragged him along with you away from the woman, ignoring Kakashi’s attempts at apologising to her. Finally you let go once you were both alone, noticing how Kakashi didn’t exactly try to get you off of him like you had.

“What are you doing, (Y/N)?” He frowned gently. 

“Time to exchange intel” You smiled up at him, head cocked to the side. Ruining his fun felt pretty good.

There was nothing to exchange. Status was the same as the last check in, nothing was happening. You were starting to wonder if the Feudal Lord was just overly paranoid but if he was willing to pay then what was it to you? The night felt like it was dragging on and you kept yourself away from the drinks table in order to keep yourself from overindulging in free alcohol. 

Alone and watching the crowd, you sunk back into your moral dilemma. Why did it feel slightly wrong to flirt with other people? Why did it feel somewhat less fulfilling when you were getting somewhere with someone else? Was it a soulmate thing? It was always a soulmate thing. You wished there was some complete guide to understanding about how this connection worked. Why did you feel slightly guilty about it anyway? It’s not like you were actually dating Kakashi. A dinner date and one kiss didn’t count as dating or promising yourself to each other. You sighed in frustration, why couldn’t your brain come to a conclusion?

As the party came to an end, you and Kakashi lingered around until the very last guest left. No danger or threat to report after all of that. It was in the early hours of the morning when your carriage arrived to take you both home. As the guests had started leaving, you had started loading up on free glasses of wine, it was your last chance to do so after all and your mission was almost at completion. The other Leaf guards would be on watch for the rest of the night, you were just the eyes on the inside. 

It was a quiet ride home, you didn’t feel the need to say anything. Too tired and drunk to say anything of importance so you leaned forward and watched the countryside go by, the moon's light glowed softly on the land below. Feeling more and more desperate to get home and tuck yourself in bed, then deal with the consequences of your decisions in the morning.

“Did you have a good night?” Kakashi asked you, “What was his name again? Zurui? It’s a shame he went off somewhere. You two were starting to look cozy”

Kakashi seemed so pleased with his work, chasing men away from you like he was your father. Slowly, you looked in his direction. 

“Hmm, it is a shame. Though someone sounds a little jealous. I wonder if that’s what that very pretty girl was about…” you said, stroking your chin while pretending to be deep in thought.

“And here I was thinking you hadn’t noticed her,” Kakashi said, his eyebrows raised, “So did it work?”

“No, not one bit” you lied, turning your head away to the window once more.

Kakashi had walked you home, even when you had insisted you didn’t need walking home. Dropping you off at your doorstep and keeping his goodnight short and sweet. 

This time you had made the first note. Lying in bed as you reflected on the night and the mission and Kakashi’s bare face and your weird pang of jealousy. 

_You were jealous weren’t you?_

Minutes later he had replied, the ink forming on your skin.

_Wouldn’t you like to know._


	3. laundry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Kakashi have a heart to heart over day drinks while Reader waits for their washing to dry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright chapter dumps incoming. Ive written like three chapters here and there and now they are ready to be posted! 
> 
> We’re starting to gain some mutual ground with these two! Anyways enjoy ♥️

Trudging through the village, you carried a large sack over your shoulder. Hopefully there would be a machine left at the laundromat, it was almost ten in the morning so you doubted it. 

Your machine was old, there was no denying that but you didn’t expect it to leak puddles of soap and water onto your floor. There was some savings stashed away for an occasion like this but when you went to the appliance store you saw a newer model with all the sparkly features so you figured after a couple more missions you’d be able to afford it but for now you would be stuck dragging a sack of neglected laundry to the laundromat every free day you could.

Peering through the window, you were trying to figure out if there was a spare machine free when you felt a presence behind you. You dumped your sack of clothes hard on the ground, turning around to see yourself nose to nose with the infamous copy ninja.

“What are you doing?” Kakashi asked as soon as you had turned to meet him, causing you to jump ten feet in the air. 

Shaking it off, your fright turned into a frown. “Looking for a free machine. What does it look like?”

“Your machine broke? Why didn’t you just say so?” 

“Huh?” You questioned, wondering what he could be planning. 

Kakashi picked the sack up and slung it over his shoulder like it was nothing, walking away before you could even protest. You followed him down the street, trying to catch up with him as he kept a good pace. 

“You know, I was wondering what that  _ ‘see repairman _ ’ note was about...” Kakashi said, one eye peeking at you from behind the sack over his shoulder. 

“Where are you taking me?” You asked. It was slightly frustrating, you never asked for his help and here he was, helping you. 

“Somewhere where there is a working washing machine”

You should have known better. You were at his apartment. Kakashi dumped the sack by the front door, closing the door behind you as you came inside. 

“Make yourself comfortable” He said as he slipped off his sandals at the door. 

You looked around the place. There was this little image that would pop in your mind when you thought of Kakashi in his house, not that you thought about it a lot. Why you thought the place was going to be messy you had no clue but you were surprised to see the exact opposite. The living room connected to the kitchen and a small balcony, off to the side were two rooms which you imagined were the bathroom and bedroom. The living room and kitchen were decorated sparsely. Minimalist and tidy. You assumed it was because he was always out of the house on missions. There was a bookshelf full of books but that was the most ‘decorated’ thing in the room. 

“Alright, say it” Kakashi said, you supposed you had been silent for too long. 

“Say what?” You said, oblivious to whatever he was trying to get at. 

“Whatever your opinion is” Kakashi gestured around the apartment. You thought it was funny that he cared so much about your opinion about his house. 

“It’s quite...impersonal” 

“You’re not wrong, just don’t go into my bedroom” Kakashi warned you, taking off his vest and throwing it onto the couch. 

You scoffed, taking your own vest off and placing it next to his. “Wasn't planning on it”

Why would you want to go into his bedroom? A little presumptuous on his part but then again you supposed that’s where he hides his mess.

Kakashi showed you where the washing machine lived. In his bathroom squeezed into a little gap between his sink and shower. You emptied the sack into the washer, putting in the appropriate amount of detergent and let Kakashi turn the dials to get it going. As he did so, you continued snooping around. His bathroom was just like his living space, only storing the essentials. You were surprised not to see a giant tub of hair gel on the counter, that just made you wonder how he gets his hair pointing in various directions. 

When it was finished, Kakashi gave you a basket filled with your wet clothes and directed you outside to his washing line on the balcony. Leaning on the open sliding door as he watched you hang up your washing. 

Finally you had gotten down to your underwear and you felt yourself screaming internally, trying to find a place to hide them on the washing line. Kakashi still leaned in the doorway, there was no way you wanted him to see your underwear.

“Look away, pervert” you said to him as you held your underwear tightly in your hand.

“Can you stop calling me a pervert-“ Kakashi protested. 

“Can you turn around, please”

Kakashi did what he was told, turning around and allowing you to hang up your underwear in privacy. You didn’t care if the whole of Konoha saw your underwear air drying, you just didn’t want him to see it. 

Now all there was to do was wait. You sighed as you came back inside, looking around to see what you could do in the meantime. The sun was out and it was a beautiful day in the Hidden Leaf so your washing should dry in four hours at the very least. That just left you with four hours to fill your time. At first you glanced at the bookshelf, maybe you could read one of Kakashi’s many books while you waited but then you spotted Kakashi’s liquor shelf. There were various bottles on the shelf. Some wine, some sake. Their contents were still quite full, you imagined Kakashi didn’t drink much at home. You walked over to the shelf, taking an unopened bottle of sake off of the shelf and waltzing over to his living room. Grabbing a cushion from the couch, you laid it under your head as you laid down on his wooden floors. 

“Is that mine?” Kakashi asked as he sat on the couch, watching you open the bottle and taking a swig. 

“Yeah” you said after swallowing your mouthful, “got a problem with that?”

“Well I did say make yourself comfortable after all” Kakashi said, leaning back on the couch. His one eye watching you as you stared at the ceiling.

It wasn’t long before Kakashi joined in with the day drinking, grabbing his own bottle of sake from his shelf and opening it. Instead of swigging it from the bottle like yourself, he drank from a glass. 

Soon enough you were feeling past the point of tipsy, half a bottle of sake gone. Chatting casually about work and missions. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol in your system but you didn’t really mind the conversation or spending time with Kakashi. It was certainly better than dinner when everyone came along and interrupted it. That was until suddenly the mood had completely changed. Kakashi had joined you on the floor, laying next to you without a pillow under his head. 

“When I found out about us, you said you were alone…” Kakashi said gently, his cheeks tinged red from the sake he had been drinking. 

“No, no. Don’t try and get all mushy on me” You shook your head.

“You’re drinking  _ my _ sake on  _ my _ living room floor, I think we can get a little mushy” Kakashi said, sitting up to take a little sip from his glass. Laying on his side with his elbow propping him up when he had finished. 

“Okay then, why did you never write to me first?” You asked, placing the bottle next to you on the floor. “I gave up on you, you know”

“Yeah… I had a feeling” Kakashi looked away, thinking for a moment before he began to speak again while his fingers rams through his hair. “Look, when I was in the Anbu… I did a lot of unpleasant stuff for the sake of the village. You just get to a point where you don’t feel like you’re an actual person anymore. I guess I just didn’t want to meet my soulmate the way I was. If you don’t like me now, you would have hated me back then”

“Kakashi-“ You tried to say, the tipsy part of you wanting to tell him you didn’t actually dislike him as much as he thought you did.

“Your turn now” Kakashi interrupted you, smiling down at you. 

“My family died during the Nine Tails attack. A boulder fell on our house and I was alone. I thought if I found my soulmate, I wouldn’t be alone anymore” You sighed, staring at the ceiling. You didn’t want to see Kakashi’s reaction to that, feeling almost embarrassed that you thought meeting your soulmate would fix all of your problems. It was a childish way to think. 

“Ah…”

“Better late than never I guess” You said, taking another swig from the bottle. Feeling like you sounded slightly pathetic. 

Kakashi laid back down next to you, his headband had been taken off a while ago and he looked at you with his other eye closed. Strangely you didn’t feel put off by how close he was to you, he was just there by your side. 

“What made you dislike me?” Kakashi asked. 

You let out a small laugh. Of course he’d want to know. “Remember a couple of years ago on that A-Grade escort to the Land of Stone?”

“Vaguely”

“I asked you something, just to be sure of my part in the plan and you ignored me and went off ahead. I almost got the client killed…” 

It was silent for a moment as Kakashi processed what you said. For you, in that moment when it had all gone down, you couldn’t think of anyone you hated more. It was humiliating as a shinobi to have that happen to you and you completely blamed Kakashi, your team leader, for it. Ever since then you had harborded this loathing for him. 

“Oh, you must have caught me on a bad day” Kakashi laughed, smiling at you as if it wasn’t a big deal. 

“Are you-“ You were about to let him have it, that had been such a horrific moment for you in your career as a shinobi and he was the cause of it but then you paused, recollecting yourself. “It doesn’t matter”

It was silent as you both had a drink. Swallowing it and staring up at the ceiling. You had enjoyed it for a while, your brain felt completely settled. The sun coming through the window made your legs feel warm. 

“You know I don’t dislike you that much, in fact I’m slowly warming up to you” You said, breaking the silence between you. 

You couldn’t believe you were saying that out loud, especially to him but he had looked almost sad when he said that stuff about the Anbu. Especially about you probably disliking him if you met him back then. It was true, you were slowly warming up to him even if he was frustrating and irritating at times. You were slowly coming to the realization that he was it. You’re one and only soulmate. You weren’t going to get another one. 

“Name five things you like about me”

“Oh god, we’d be here all day” You joked, taking another sip from the bottle. “Okay, okay. I like your hair. I like your mask. Hmm... I like your sake, I like your washing machine and...I like your gloves”

They were shallow and meaningless things but if he had asked you to name five things you liked about him six months ago you would have flat out said nothing. Quickly you glanced at him in the corner of your eye, watching him consider your points. 

“And what about me?” You asked. Funnily enough, there was a part of you that wanted to know what he thought of you too. It’s not something you two talked about. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know” He said with a smile making you roll your eyes at him. 

Of course you would like to know. You wouldn’t have asked if you didn’t. If you were honest, it didn’t bother you he was getting out of answering it. A smaller part of you didn’t want to know what he was going to say, the self conscious side that didn't want to know how you appeared to others. 

“Okay then, why are you so… I don’t know… open to having a soulmate?” You asked another question, hoping he’d at least answer that one. “I always thought you just didn’t want one”

“The same reason as you, I suppose” Kakashi said, he sounded serious as he spoke and that captured your attention. Instead of making fun of him, you listened. “Spend your life alone and you get older and realise you want to share it with someone. Makes things easier when the universe pairs you up with someone”

You swallowed hard when he finished speaking, Lying down next to you quietly as he sipped his sake. What he said had really hit you. He was right, spend your life alone and you get to a point where you just don’t want to be alone anymore. You just keep pushing those feelings down and try your best to survive. It made you wonder what a world without soulmates was like. Was it just as easy for two lonely souls to come together? 

Kakashi wasn’t dwelling on his words like you were. Instead he held up his hand in front of you both, staring intently at it. “You know, I think your hand is a lot smaller than mine”

Your hand came next to his and you looked between the two. His hand was a lot bigger than yours, easily. Your hands were slightly smaller than average, not something you spent a lot of time thinking about. 

“It looks that way doesn’t it?” You said as you continued to compare the two. 

“Won’t know for sure until we test it” Kakashi said as his hand sat on top of yours, the both of you still lay back on the floor with your arms raised. He was right, your hand was much smaller than his. The top of your fingertips came just below the first ridge of his own. 

And then he smiled, his hand moving swiftly to capture yours in his. His fingers quickly entwined with yours. “And look it that, it fits perfectly too”

A smile spread across your face, a laugh came out of your mouth. You couldn’t believe he had just done that. You stared at your entwined fingers for a moment, for some reason it looked...right, natural. You put it down to the sake. Then to save face, you ripped your hand away from his. 

“You think you’re so slick” You lightly chuckled, rolling your eyes at him.

Kakashi rolled onto his side, his elbow propping himself up once more. You looked at him, expecting him to say something but he didn’t for a moment. Instead he remained silent as if he was considering something. His eye travelled from your abdomen to your face. 

“You know about before, the five things I like about you…” He said in a low tone, sending chills reluctantly down your spine. 

“Oh, don’t you start-“ You tried to stop him, your hand coming up to dismiss him but that didn’t stop him continuing.

“I like your eyes, they have this sparkle to them” 

“Please-“ You tried to interrupt him but he wasn’t going to let it go just like that. 

“I like how you’re smart, smart enough to give me the runaround for months,” Kakashi said, taking a sip from his glass as he continued his points. “I like it when you get mad and your nose screws up”

You scoffed at that one. Remembering how he said you were cute when you got mad that night he found out you were soulmates. You wanted to hide behind your hands, unable to bear him saying such things about you. Even if they were not as bad as you thought they were going to be. 

“I like it when you’re this drunk because you’re nice to me for a change” He said, earning himself another eye roll from you. You’re somewhat nice to him when you’re not drunk too. 

Then he started closing in on you and the world felt as if it was moving in slow motion. His face was coming closer and closer and you weren’t moving out of the way. You should be moving out of the way. 

“I liked kissing you...” He whispered, his lips so close to yours yet he still wore his mask. You could see him tugging at the top of it, trying to pull it down under his chin. Why weren’t you moving out of the way? Were you really going to let this happen? 

As Kakashi began to pull down his mask, a loud thump interrupted him. He sat up straight away, the moment was gone. Instead you both turned your attention to the window and the bird ramming itself into it. 

“That would be the Hokage,” Kakashi said as he stood up, looking for his headband. 

You watched as he did so, feeling slightly relieved you were interrupted by a bird before his lips could fall onto yours. Kakashi quickly put on his vest, looking around for anything he could have been missing before he put his sandals on. 

“Stay here, I’ll bring us dinner and then I’ll take you home after alright?” He said, hoping you’d accept his plans for the night. 

“Fine” You shrugged, giving in. You were feeling a little drunk and your washing was still in need of drying. 

“Good!” Kakashi said as he placed his hand on the sides of your head quickly, planting a kiss on your forehead before he ran off. 

“Hey-“ You protested but it didn’t matter. Kakashi was out the door by now. Leaping from rooftop to rooftop to the Hokage’s office.

After he left, you laid back down on the floor, eyes closed as you let the sun fill you with warmth while you waited for him to come back. You couldn’t believe that almost happened. He was about to kiss you and you were just going to let him. What happened to taking it slow? You weren’t sure but what you did know was that you needed to ease up on the drink.

It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep on his floor. The sake helped but the sun's warmth was the final nail in the coffin. When you woke you were in your own bed at home, not even remembering Kakashi coming back or getting home yourself one bit. On your wrist was a note.

_ You fell asleep on my floor. Food is on the counter. Sleep tight.  _

Sure enough there was a container of take out on the kitchen countertop and on your coffee table was a basket of folded washing. A note on the folded clothes read:  _ I didn’t look at your underwear, I promise. _ You shook your head, pervert.

As you ate your cold meal in the middle of the night, your mind went to Kakashi. He had carried you home, tucked you into bed, folded your clothes and brought you dinner. You had to find a way to pay it back, show him you appreciated it despite your complicated feelings.

Heading to bed you wrote a note back to him, the start of your mission to pay him back.

_ Thank you. _


	4. a ruined meal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader tries to make Kakashi dinner to repay the favour only for it to go disastrously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy! Reader is here to cook dinner and do a terrible job at it!

You were in the doctor's office for your annual check up when you saw the flashy headline on a magazine.  _ ‘Top 10 tips for bonding with your soulmate’ _ . Immediately you flicked to page 23, scanning the list below. Have a drink, go to the movies, go to a museum. All of these seemed really boring.

**_Make them dinner._ **

_ Making dinner for someone can be so personal and shows them you really care. When you make something with love, the other person can feel that love. Now go on and impress them with your cooking talents _ .

The tip was cheesy enough, feeling yourself cringe at the idea of making something with  _ love _ . But it was maybe one of the better suggestions on the list and you really needed to pay Kakashi back for the laundry so cooking him a meal it was.

_ ‘Come to mine at seven’  _

_ ‘See you then’ _

You imagined him giving you one of those eye smiles of his and you found yourself frowning at the thought.

It had been a week or so since Kakashi scooped you up in his arms and put you into your bed, a week since he had almost kissed you. Neither one of you had brought it up since so you assumed it was just one of those moments. That little magnetic attraction between soulmates. You were more than happy to pretend it didn’t happen, it made it easier for you to just get on with life. 

It was time for you to admit you did not have a single clue how to cook. You could cook onigiri on a good day, instant ramen in a cup any day but a proper meal? Out of the question. 

You had spent the rest of your morning at the market, searching high and low for the best ingredients even though you weren’t actually sure what that looked like. Sneaking another bottle of Ume wine in your basket for when you cooked.

The meal? Shioyaki sakana accompanied with rice and okonomiyaki. You had only cooked one of those things in your life and that was rice. The choices itself were a little bit of a mixed bag. At the hospital you had quickly scanned through the recipes section in the magazine and picked any easy looking thing you could do. 

It was only two in the afternoon when you started to prepare ahead. You were treating it like a mission. Objective time for completion was fifteen minutes to seven and that gave you at least four hours to get everything complete. Leaving you with some time to spare for dishes and any extra finishing touches. 

First thing to do was the rice and that was the easy part, it’s hard to screw up rice. Then came the rest of it. All you had to do was follow the instructions on the recipe. Having done much harder things in your life, this should be a walk in the park, right? 

Not exactly. The okonomiyaki batter was slightly under mixed no matter how hard you mixed it. The more you checked on it the more it cracked and trying to flip it was a nightmare. The first one you made looked like a crumbly mess so you decided to keep it in the pan for as long as possible. Running off to quickly do your hair, you had smelt burning. One side of the okonomiyaki was completely black and you only had enough batter for one more. Somehow you managed to burn fish, you didn’t think it was possible but you managed to prove yourself wrong. The timer had gone off while you were scrubbing a stubborn spot in your bathroom, only remembering the oven was still on after you had finished up. Sat in a tray in the oven were two burnt fish. Fish you had spent an hour deboning, there was no time to do another fish. 

This was going so badly. You sat in the corner with a bottle of wine on your lips trying your hardest not to sob. It wasn’t too late to sneak out and grab something and pretend you made it right? That seemed like the best idea. Sitting in the corner you stared around your living room, watching dark smoke dance around your ceiling. Too defeated to get up and open a window. 

To make matters worse someone just opened your door, the man of the hour. 

“Is everything all right in here?” Kakashi yelled as he closed the door behind him, trying to find you in the smoke.

“Yeah, it’s fine” you said from your corner, taking another swig. 

“What’s burning?” Kakashi looked around the living room, trying to find the source of the smoke. “I can smell it from outside”

“Everything…” You said to him deflated. 

“Oh!” Kakashi’s attention turned to the kitchen, spotting your dishes and the burnt food sitting on the countertop. “I see…”

You couldn’t even look at him, that’s how embarrassed you were. He knelt down to your level, tilting your chin up with his finger. “(Y/N)... did you try to cook me dinner?”

“It was meant to be a nice gesture but I don’t know how to cook” 

You didn’t cry often. Only when you were hit hardest by something or you felt overcome with frustration or irritation. But right now your bottom lip quivered even when you tried desperately to make it stop. This was a disaster. 

“Well… is there anything edible left?” Kakashi stood up, looking towards the smoky kitchen 

“The rice” You pointed to the bowl of rice sitting on the countertop, the only thing you hadn't screwed up. 

“Okay, let me see if we can fix it. You can sit down” Kakashi said as he made his way to the kitchen, taking off his vest and rolling up his sleeves as he approached the mighty mess. 

You paused for a moment. He said  _ we _ can fix it, not  _ I _ can fix it. We as in a team. As a teenager you considered soulmates to be a team. A two man team against the world, working together no matter what. That’s what soulmates were meant to be right? Two people who helped each other and cared for each other.

“But I was meant to do this for you. You shouldn’t be the one to fix it” You said to him, his back turned to you as he assessed the damage. 

“Do you want it to be edible or not?” Kakashi lightly chuckled.

You sat down on your couch, your hand still wrapped around the bottle of wine. Kakashi didn’t say much as he cooked, completely focused. You heard various sounds while he was in your kitchen. Sounds of something being chopped, sounds of sizzling and frying. It smelt nice compared to what you had tried to do. The table was already set before Kakashi had walked in so all he had to do was serve it up. 

You sat across from him at your dining table, he had placed a bowl in front of you. It looked as if he used some of the fish that wasn’t burnt, egg and random vegetables you had lying around. He had more imagination cooking than you ever had. Quickly you digged in, needing something to soak up the alcohol you poured down your throat in distress. 

“So is everything okay? Did you need to talk to me about something?” Kakashi asked you as he mixed his food with his chopsticks. 

You could understand his concern. It’s not like you were the one to ever initiate plans, let alone make dinner for him. Of course he would think something was wrong. You chewed and swallowed your food with haste so you could answer him. “What? No. I just wanted to thank you for the laundry” 

Kakashi’s eyebrow rose in acknowledgement as his hand hovered around the top of his mask, waiting for you to get back to staring at your meal so he could shovel food into his mouth. It was funny, you already knew what he looked like under there so you had no idea why he didn’t just pull his mask under his chin to eat. 

“You know it’s not bad,” You offered a compliment, picking up a piece of fish with your chopsticks.

“Well, that’s a relief” Kakashi said, his hand supporting his head as he stared at you from across the table. 

“How did you learn how to cook?” You asked, maybe you needed to be writing down some tips so you didn’t screw it up next time. 

“Well when you’re on your own from a young age, you need to know how to cook in order to survive” Kakashi shrugged.

You had both been on your own from a young age except he taught himself how to cook and you spent your allowance on take out to avoid it. Maybe you should have taken a page out of his book back then. 

“Well… thanks for fixing it” 

“You know, you don’t need to pay me back. I did those things because I wanted to” Kakashi explained.

You were the type of person to always repay your debts and favours. Never wanting to owe anyone anything. It stemmed from a childhood of looking out for one person: yourself. Every exchange with anyone felt like an IOU, you were so convinced that you needed to make it on your own. To hear that someone didn’t expect anything from you, that they did things for you because they wanted to was strange. It was hard to accept it, that overwhelming need to repay the favour always came to mind. 

Soulmates were about helping each other, right?

It was bad enough he fixed dinner but Kakashi helped you do the dishes too. Playfully flicking bubbles at you that landed on your clothes and hair. Your nose screwed up, irritated that he wouldn’t knock it off and in response Kakashi gave you that eye smile and a tap on your nose that only left more bubbles on your face. As he left and you closed the door behind him, you could only think about one thing. Paying him back. 


	5. the draft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader goes on the ultimate mission to pay Kakashi back once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I had fun writing this it feels quite silly 🥴 anyways enjoy ♥️

It all started when you met up with Anko for Sunday brunch. You had explained your situation with Kakashi before to her and up until this point all she did was mock you about it. Making kissing lips behind Kakashi at you as you spoke to him, telling you to go make out with your  _ ‘boyfriend’ _ whenever he passed you by on the streets, giving him the new nickname of  _ ‘lover boy _ ’. For some reason, she decided now was the time to be helpful.

“So have you managed to pay back Kakashi yet?” Anko asked as she shoved pieces of egg into her mouth. 

“No, no I haven’t” You sighed, “I’m completely lost”

Kakashi was away on a mission for a month. This gave you some much needed time away from him and much needed time to organise a good way to pay him back for not only your laundry but for fixing the dinner you were meant to make him to pay him back for the laundry. 

“Well the library is hosting the first draft from the  _ Make-Out Paradise _ series for one week only. Maybe you could read it and make a copy of it for him” Anko said as she sipped the last of her cocktail, “I know, genius idea, no need to thank me”

“How do you know that it’s being hosted at the library? Don’t tell me you read those perverted books”

“Hey! A girl gets lonely sometimes…”

You knew right away she didn’t mean lonely the way one would normally mean and you tried straight away to purge the image out of your mind, your nose screwed up at your efforts.

It was a good idea, Anko was right. Kakashi was away and you knew if he was back in the village he’d be drooling all over it. So after a boozy brunch, you made you way down to the library, buying pen and paper for the occasion. 

The librarian screwed up her nose when you requested to see the draft. Quickly you defended yourself by claiming you were looking at it for a friend. Great! Now the librarian probably thinks you're a massive pervert like Kakashi and Anko. However you were willing to carry the title, if you had to be labelled a pervert to pay back Kakashi then that is what you would do. 

She led you to a room, placing the draft in front of you and saying something about how she’ll be back in half an hour. You weren’t exactly listening, you were focused on the mission at hand. Reading and scribbling it all down, you planned to rewrite it later to make it look more presentable. How Kakashi and Anko enjoyed these books was beyond you, you weren’t exactly a reader yourself but this would be the one book you would never dare to touch. 

Half an hour passed by quite quickly and you had only finished the second chapter when the librarian returned and demanded you leave.

“But I’m not finished-“

“Everyone gets half an hour to view the draft” She said and then she pointed to the line to the room that had somehow formed while you were busy copying away.

You weren’t trying to get into a fight with the librarian so you gathered your belongings and went to the back of the line. There was no way you were going to be able to copy the whole book in thirty minute slots and there was only a few days left to view the draft copy before it was shipped away to another library. How the hell were you going to manage this?

The idea came after an hour of waiting in line, it wasn’t the best idea you ever had but it could just work out. It was simple. Break into the library after closing, take the copy home, copy it and then return it before the library opened the next day. You had left the line, planning on returning just around closing to see where they store the draft. 

At home you were overly prepared. A pack of canned caffeinated drinks sat beside the desk, piles of paper and pens laid on top of it. You were going to pull an all nighter even if it killed you.

While you waited for closing time at the library, you wondered why you were putting in so much effort. If it was Anko, you would have just bought her a few rounds and called it even. This was actually quite a thoughtful thing to do but so was Kakashi folding your laundry and carrying you home and fixing the butchered meal you made for him. Perhaps you just wanted to desperately be even, never wanting to let a favour or debt remain unpaid. You blew a stray hair away from your face as you thought about it, your eyes made their way to the last note he had written on his wrist to you.

_ ‘Don’t turn on your oven until I get back’ _

Another helpful reminder. 

Finally the last person had left that room and the librarian from before held in her hands the draft. Taking it behind the desk and locking it in a drawer before shoving everyone out of the library. You felt relieved as you left, a locked drawer was going to be easier to crack than a safe.

You had waited till ten at night to break in. That way everyone would be fast asleep or were about to go home and that meant less people around the village to see your criminal activity. Climbing onto the roof, you popped open the skylight and jumped down to the floor. The library was actually kind of creepy at night, the tall shelves made most of the room completely dark from its looming shadows. You were feeling paranoid before you put on your flashlight, what if something came and grabbed you from the shadows? You really needed to stop going to those horror movie nights at the theatre. 

There it was the desk that held the  _ Make-Out Paradise  _ draft and you quickly made your way to it. Digging a bobby-pin out from your pocket, you started to get to work on the lock. It was a pretty simple lock to open, it’s not like a library needed a complex security system after all. What kind of person would want to break into a library anyway? The draft was in your hands, the mission was running smoothly. You had run home instantly, the mission wasn’t over yet.

It was the middle of the night and you had downed your second canned caffeinated drink, finally finishing up on chapter seven. Your hand was covered in scribbled lines as you tested various pens, managing to get through at least one pen so far. You could see why this was a draft. The storyline didn’t make sense, it was riddled with cliches, and the dialogue was overly cheesy, you lost count of the amount of times you rolled your eyes while copying everything down.

You had come upon a very heated scene, feeling quite uncomfortable while copying it down.  _ ‘He left a trail of kisses down her neck, his hand roamed her body, finally slipping into her-‘ _

You slammed the draft shut, heat rising to your cheeks. This was getting graphic. How were you going to copy that? You felt your nose screw up with slight disgust. Leaning back in your chair, you looked out the window at the dark night sky, remembering what the purpose of this mission was. On your wrist was another note.

_ ‘What’s up with the scribbles? Are you trying to colour me in?’ _

Kakashi. You rolled your eyes, quickly taking your pen and replying to him:  _ Mind your own business. _

Reluctantly you opened the draft again, rereading the line you needed to copy and putting pen to paper despite the vulgarity. Visably cringing at the vivid sex scene you were copying down and trying not to think about the fact that Kakashi was going to read this filth and you were enabling it.

_ ‘You are my business. Go to sleep, it’s late’ _

“But I can’t!” You groaned out loud.

You had to finish this copy, no matter what it took. Hours passed by and the pages you needed to copy we’re going down fast as you rushed to finish it. The library would be open in four hours, you needed to get the copy back as soon as possible. 

“Caffeinate me!” You yelled into your empty apartment, your eyes glazed over as the words on the page became blurry. 

“Caffeinate me!” You yelled again, realising no one was in your apartment to assist you. Not that anyone was ever in your apartment anyway. 

Reaching down to the floor to grab another can, you shook your head. “I’m losing my mind” 

It was almost five in the morning when your efforts paid off. It was finished, the whole draft had been copied to completion and you looked as if you had been trampled on by a crowd of people. Your eyes were lifeless, your hair looked like a nest and you really needed a shower and a sleep. But first you needed to return the draft back into the drawer back at the library. 

Sloppily you jumped from rooftop to rooftop, the sun threatening to lighten the sky as you raced to the library. You popped open the skylight once more, jumping down through it. This time you weren’t as smooth with your actions, the tiredness had taken you over and you were sloppy with your jump. Instead of landing on your feet, you landed on your left side. Gathering yourself together, you felt serious pain shooting in your left arm. There was no time to think about it. As a shinobi you were trained to fight through your injuries no matter what, you could heal yourself later. Quickly you shoved the draft back into the desk, not bothering to lock it back up. That was just going to have to be a mystery for the library staff to ponder on. Using the tall shelves, you leaped back through the skylight, trying to balance yourself with only one arm available to you. Did you seriously injure yourself just to make a copy of a filthy book for your soulmate because he tucked you in and brought you dinner? It seemed that way.

Instead of having that nice, deep sleep in your bed that you had hoped for, you were having a sleep in the waiting room of the hospital. Hours had passed before you could be properly seen but when the doctor could see you he confirmed your suspicions. One broken arm, nothing too bad but they infused your arm with chakra to get the bone fused back together. Your arm would need to be in a cast for a couple of weeks to help keep the bone from breaking apart again. You had a broken arm and would be off missions for nearly a month all thanks to your desperate need to pay Kakashi back. He better like it since you had gone through all the trouble.

“I don’t even like the guy all that much” You sighed as you lay in bed after finally getting home.

It felt like you were lying to yourself. Kakashi had really grown on you much to your surprise, grown on you enough that you could say that you didn’t hate him or overly dislike him anymore at least.

Staring down at your cast, you realised you wouldn't be able to receive any of Kakashi’s notes. Your cast went from your hand to your shoulder and you weren’t ambidextrous enough to write on your right arm. You sunk into your pillow, a slight smile on your lips when you realised you truly were going to have a mini holiday from your soulmate after all.

* * *

A few weeks later and you were due to get your cast off in the next couple of days. It was dark out and you were thinking of heading to the bar to get a drink with Anko. 

It was radio silence from Kakashi and you knew it wasn’t because wasn’t trying to contact you. Actually you were kind of enjoying your space from Kakashi, everything was starting to feel like it was before you found out he was your soulmate. Simpler times when you only had to worry about yourself. It’s not like you were worrying about Kakashi, he obviously could handle himself, but trying to open yourself up to someone was harder than anyone imagined. Despite the fact you were enjoying the space and being able to relive your simplier days, you did feel slightly alone without his stupid reminders and notes. That was a feeling you tried to shake off as the weeks went by. 

You were putting on your vest when you heard knocking on your door, shaking your head at the insistent knocking. It was probably Anko coming to get you for a drink. 

“I’m coming! I’m coming!” You yelled at the door, having a hard time putting your broken arm through the vest’s arm hole. 

Swinging the door open, your body gained the weight of another before you could even see who was there. Arms wrapped around your body tightly, almost squeezing. You wiggled your way out of their hold, finally seeing who had been holding you hostage in their arms.

“You weren’t replying to my notes, I thought something had happened” Kakashi said, a mixture of concern and relief in his voice.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. I just…” You held up your left arm as much as you could, it was easier to explain it that way. There was definitely no way you were going to explain to him that you broke your arm trying to do something for him.

“What happened?” He asked, staring down at the cast.

“You know, just usual injuries” You blew it off, shrugging it off as no big deal.

Glancing down at his hand, you noticed lines peeking through the hole in his glove. Dark scribbled lines. Then it hit you. You were unable to wash the ink off of your skin before your accident and it would have been on his skin the entire time. No wonder he slightly panicked. 

“Oh! Yeah! Before I forget…” You said as you ran inside, making your way to your bookshelf.

Kakashi had followed you inside, closing the front door behind himself before he watched you scan your bookshelf for the copy you wrote out of him. Finding it sitting between two large books, you quickly grabbed it and handed it to him. Finally this copy was going to be out of your hands and the debt would finally be repaid. 

“What’s this?”

“Just something to pay you back for the laundry and fixing dinner”

“I told you, you don’t need to pay me back” Kakashi rolled his eye while opening the copy, skimming through the first page. “What is this?”

“It’s the draft for the first  _ Make-Out Paradise _ book, they had it at the library for one week only and I figured since you were out of town you wouldn’t be able to-“

You were cut off by a pair of lips hidden behind soft black fabric excitedly coming down on your own hard. His hands holding your cheeks in place firmly. It all happened quite quickly and you were left blinking as Kakashi held up the copy like it was a child. What was going on?

“I’m pretty sure it’s the only other copy of it in the world so take care of it… I guess” 

Well that was unless anyone else had broken into the library and copied it like you had. Surely there must be another super fan who had the same idea as you but you weren’t going to tell Kakashi that. You’d let him think he was special. 

“The only other- oh, oh my-“ Kakashi’s eye had become wide as he stared at the copy in his hands. 

Kakashi of the Sharingan. The man who knew over one thousand jutsu and was blessed with a Sharingan eye was in your living room squealing with excitement like a teenage girl. You weren’t too sure what was scarier, the powerful shinobi on the battlefield or the giggling man in your house.

“How did you even- (Y/N)!” 

It was official, you were pretty sure you broke Kakashi Hatake. If you had known he was going to react like this, maybe you would have thought of something a little milder to give him. Then again, he was happy and it was all thanks to you. You had now truly paid off your debt.

Suddenly you were held hostage by muscular arms again and you looked up to see Kakashi holding you tightly, his eyes closed as if he was savouring this. “Thank you so much”.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s no big deal” You mumbled into his vest, refusing to wrap your arms around him to share the embrace. 

Kakashi released you, sitting himself down on your couch and digging in straight away. You stood and watched as he became completely immersed. 

“You’re not going to read that here are you?” You asked, one eyebrow raised at him. Your intention was for him to read it at  _ his _ house not  _ yours _ .

Kakashi was in a world of his own, unable to hear anything you were saying. Looks like you’d have to have drinks with Anko another night. Taking a bottle of wine off of the shelf, you poured yourself a glass and sat opposite your soulmate who already had a very visible blush on his cheeks. It was going to be a long night. 


	6. a challenge part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was split into two because it got to a word count of about 5.5 and I thought that would be too much for one chapter. Anyways some stuff is happening in these two chapters 🥴 hope y’all like it

Anko was about to depart on a two month long mission that was ‘super top secret’ so you were off to meet her for an early afternoon drink to see her off. A slight part of you felt doomed because who else were you going to drink and mock everyone with? 

On your way there, you stopped off at the bookstore. Flicking through a magazine outside the store, you hadn't noticed someone standing in front of you. Only noticing the moment you lowered it from your face to place it back on the pile. Two intense eyes stared down at you. Instinctively you jumped back, almost letting out a small yelp out of fright. Looking down at you was a shinobi you were pretty sure you had seen before. Smoky brown hair, dark eyes wearing a strange headband helmet combo. Do people have no sense of boundaries or personal space these days? 

“(Y/N)? Right?” He spoke first. 

You couldn’t even remember where you knew this guy from. Could he have been at the bar one night? You didn’t sleep with him did you? Your eyes widened, hoping that was not the case. 

“Yeah?” You responded, feeling a little anxious. 

“I’m Yamato, I lead Kakashi’s team”

You let out a massive sigh of relief. So you  _ hadn’t _ slept with him, thank goodness for that. It also explained how this guy knew you when you couldn’t even remember him. Typical Kakashi, blabbing about you to people you didn’t know once again. It was hard not to wonder what he was telling people. Hopefully it wasn't all bad

“Oh, I  _ thought _ I knew you from somewhere. Are you alright?” You laughed slightly, the anxiety you felt immediately left. Though you wondered why he had come right up in your face before. It must be some strange Team Kakashi trait. 

“I’m fine. I’ve wanted to meet you for some time now. Seeing as you're Kakashi’s soulmate after all” Yamato smiled. He seemed quite genuine and kind even if your initial reaction was one of slight fear. 

“Ah...well, here I am” You felt a little awkward. You could handle polite small talk no problem, it was just a little hard when the small talk was based around you. 

“I can’t even imagine Kakashi having a soulmate at all so you’re quite a surprise” Yamato laughed. Surprise was certainly an understatement in your eyes. 

“Can’t help who the universe pairs you up with, right?” You said with a smile.

“I wouldn’t know, mine doesn’t exactly respond anymore”

Humming as you thought for a moment, you couldn’t help but be curious as to why his soulmate didn’t want to respond to him anymore. That must definitely be a Team Kakashi trait. 

“You know what, Yamato” you said, your hand came down on his shoulder as you started to walk past him to leave, “sometimes it’s better that way”.

You walked away from him, giving him a quick wave with the back of your hand. If you were any later, Anko was going to make you buy all of the rounds. Hell, she was going to make you do that anyway. “Anyways, I gotta head off. It was nice to meet you”.

“We should get dinner sometime. You, me and Kakashi” Yamato called out to you. Turning back to look at him, you nodded. Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad idea. You supposed you should get to know his friends, you were stuck together for life after all.

Anko had hounded you about being late. Asking if you were sucking face with your  _ ‘boy toy’ _ which you cringed at before you were forced to buy a round for your untimeliness. It was nice to have one more drink with your closest friend before she left. One more occasion to drink wine and laugh at your fellow comrades. You would miss her when she left and a part of you always worried for her safety out there but you knew she was too stubborn to die, she’d be home and forcing you to buy a round before you knew it. 

Anko had to leave after an hour and a half, needing to prepare for her mission and check over any last minute details. You left the bar too, figuring you’d go for a walk and think about what to do next. Maybe you’d figure out what you wanted to eat for dinner or go home and clean your kitchen. Looking down at your wrist, there was no note from Kakashi. Strange but you shook it off. 

You were walking right past the dango store when you saw Maito Gai. Standing in the middle of your path, almost blocking you from going any further. Was every friend of Kakashi’s going to approach you today? 

“Why hello there, (Y/N). Lovely afternoon for a stroll don’t you think?” He said, his smile wide and the air around him energetic. You almost expected him to start doing jumping jacks on the spot. 

“Well… yeah…” You said, gesturing to the blue skies above. 

“Are you up for a challenge, (Y/N)?” Gai asked you, one hand on his hip. “As Kakashi’s eternal rival and closest friend, it is up to me to make sure his soulmate is powered by the same youth Kakashi is”.

Your eyebrow rose. Was he seriously challenging you to make sure you were the perfect soulmate for Kakashi? And what was he planning on doing for these challenges? 

“You want me to prove that I’m worthy of Kakashi?”

“Something like that...” Gai thought for a moment, his fingers stroking his chin. “Anyway, (Y/N) are you up for the challenge?”

You sighed as your shoulder slumped. Staring at the man in front of you who started lightly jogging on the spot. What else were you going to do today? The light buzz of alcohol in your system thought  _ ‘why not?’. _

“What did you have in mind?”

The challenges were just absurd. There was no way you were going to win the cliff climbing challenge and you knew that the moment you set your eyes on the cliff Gai had led you too. Then came the dango eating challenge and surprisingly you actually won that but it wasn’t without its price. Next came a vigorous sit up challenge and after losing track at 52, you ended up on your knees puking up all that dango you had just gorged yourself on. Gai lightly chuckled as he helped you get up from the ground, suggesting a lighter challenge next. Paper, scissors, rock. You must have had the worst luck in the world, only winning three times out of the twenty times you played. How did that even happen? It was a one in three shot every time. 

The last challenge was a race around the village ending at the gates. There was no way you were going to win it and for that reason you didn’t even try. Gai was further ahead, disappearing around a corner when you stopped running. Spotting a vending machine in an alley, you quickly grabbed yourself a can and poured soda down your throat. Soda wasn’t exactly the best for rehydration but you desperately needed something to relieve the burning in your throat. This was just pathetic, you were a jonin ranked shinobi and you were puffed out after five minutes of continuous running.

At the finish line Gai stood proudly, hands planted on his hips as he saw you running to meet him. Getting there, you were out of breath majorly. There was no way you were going to do another challenge after this. 

“Doesn’t seem like I’m having too much luck with this, guess I’m not worthy of Kakashi huh?” You said breathlessly as you bent over to recover, your hands planted on your knees. “Oh well”

If only this was how this all worked. Doing various challenges to find out if you were compatible with someone and calling it a day when it turns out you weren’t. There’s no way you would have been paired up with Kakashi then. You weren’t exactly disappointed you were failing these challenges, it’s not like you really needed to prove yourself. Kakashi was stuck with you no matter what and no paper, scissors, rock game could change that. 

“Not so fast!” Gai said, barely sweating after the marathon you two had just completed. 

With your head tilted to the side, you looked at him with confusion. Please don’t say he wants to do another challenge. 

“These challenges are not for the faint hearted and by never giving up, you proved yourself worthy of being called Kakashi's soulmate” Gai said with a twinkle in his eye, his straight teeth peeking from behind his wide smile and his signature thumbs up in your direction.

You slightly laughed, wishing he had said that two challenges ago. Giving him a pat on the back, you bid farewell and left Gai by the gates. After all of that you needed a drink, the alcohol had been purged out of your system long ago between the sweat, the dango, and the puking of said dango. 

On the way to the bar, you began to zone out. Thinking about how you had never considered if you were ‘worthy’ of being Kakashi’s soulmate before Gai said anything. Once again, he was your soulmate, you were stuck with him. Many people had soulmates not ‘worthy’ of them but at least you were trying to equal things out ever since it was out in the open. Trying to balance out the give and take that came with any relationship. 

Things with Kakashi were moving at a nice and steady pace, something you were more than pleased about. Then you wondered if it was something he was pleased about. Did he want more from you? If he did, you weren’t sure if you were ready to give it to him yet but you were trying the best you could. There was no denying that strange pull to him. 

The other night he had spotted you getting some late night dango and he walked you home afterwards, the whole time you had just stared at his hand wondering what would happen if you slipped your own into his. Your traitorous thoughts wished he’d try again. Recently you had noticed that when it came to soulmates there was always going to be a strange pull. The universe wanted you to be with this person so there was no wonder why there was such an intense feeling there. Well, that’s what you figured anyway, the only logical conclusion you could come up with. God forbid you wanted to be loved for once in your life.

Walking into the bar you spotted Kurenai alone, nursing a glass of wine in the corner and it felt like such a relief. Instantly you joined her, forgetting to order yourself a drink. 

“Oh Kurenai, thank god you’re here!” You said as you pulled out a chair and sat across from her. 

Her face switched from calm to concerned, placing her wine glass on the table. She stared at you with her crimson eyes. “Is something wrong?”

“I need to ask you about soulmates” 

“Ah… that’s right. Kakashi, right?” Kurenai said before taking a sip from her glass. “You know I was surprised to hear it myself, you two aren’t exactly one in the same”

She had the same thoughts as you did. Why the universe had made you two soulmates was beyond your comprehension and you spent countless nights trying to figure out why. Maybe she’d be able to shed some light on something you just didn’t understand. 

“Well neither are you and Asuma, right? But you guys are like the gold standard for soulmates, you know”

Kurenai smiled the moment she heard Asuma’s name, lightly shrugging in response to what you said. “We were always around each other growing up, it just felt natural for him to be my soulmate”

“What if it doesn’t feel natural? At all?” You asked quietly, feeling slightly lost and confused. You just needed someone to listen, needed someone who had experience with this soulmates things to explain what the hell was going on. 

Kurenai’s eyebrow rose, signalling to the bartender to get her another drink and a drink for you too. That’s when you sat there and explained everything. The things you couldn’t tell Anko or Kakashi. The jealousy of seeing him with someone else, the guilt you felt when you thought about hooking up with someone, the pull you felt towards him, how you wanted to hold his hand that other night, the intense energy between you that wasn’t there before when you didn’t know who your soulmate was. Everything just came tumbling out of your mouth and it felt like a relief to get it out. She sat there with a listening ear and a smile on her lips. 

“You know, I’ve found that the universe will push you towards your soulmate no matter what, even if you deny yourself it. That little pull you get towards Kakashi, that’s the universe telling you to go for it” She smiled when she spoke as if she was reliving a fond memory, “When you kissed Kakashi that one time, did you feel like everything just made sense?”

You straightened up, your eyes staring at the corner of the room as you thought long and hard about it. “It did feel kind of comforting…” 

“They say being touched by your soulmate is one of the best sensations you can ever feel. Don’t get me started on the sex-“ Kurenai had said before you cut her off completely. 

“You really don’t need to get started on the sex” You said, your eyes wide while your hand came up to stop her before she  _ could _ start.

Great. Now you had this awful image of Asuma’s sweaty body on top of Kurenai and no matter how much you cringed it just wouldn’t go away. 

“As I was saying, there’s a reason for that and it almost becomes...addictive. You shouldn’t deny yourself from being happy, you’re both obviously ready for something since it’s out in the open now. You wouldn’t have found each other if you weren’t”

As you sipped your wine, you started to think. Did Kurenai really believe that? That you found each other when you were ready. You didn’t feel ready in fact you felt slightly fearful. Of what? Everything to do with loving someone. Accepting someone’s love and affections after years of being alone. How could you give love to someone properly when all you knew was filling a stranger's bed for a night and never talking to them again.

“I know you’re finding Kakashi to be a little… too much about all of this, hell even I haven’t seen him act like this before but he’s lost almost everyone that ever mattered and I think he might be ready to move forward and start really living. I guess he just wants his soulmate by his side so he can truly start” Kurenai said. She knew Kakashi well, well enough to speak his intentions for him without getting the wrong idea.

“I just wonder what it would be like if anyone else was my soulmate, you know?” You lightly chuckled, your head supported by your hand as you thought about it.

The idea was interesting enough. Your mind went through the options. Could you even imagine some like Genma as your soulmate? Or even someone like Ebisu? Maybe you didn’t have it so bad with Kakashi. 

“I don’t think it would be as fun, don’t you?” Kurenai laughed.

“Maybe less irritating” 

Your thoughts went to Kakashi, only realising you hadn’t heard from him all day. A little strange since he was in the village and he somehow always found you when he was home. Even if it was to briefly check in on you while on a stroll in the streets. You supposed you had been so caught up with Anko leaving and Gai’s challenge you had completely forgotten about him. Looking down to your wrist you expected to see another silly note, this time it was different. 

_ Hi! (Y/N) Can you swing by the karaoke bar and collect toilet brush head? _

You had no idea how long that had been there or who could have been writing all over Kakashi’s arm. 

_ What? Who is this?  
_

You clicked your pen once more, staring at your arm as you waited for a response.


	7. a challenge part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two! We’re starting to get to the juicy part ig

Minutes went by and no one responded so you figured you should probably investigate. 

Thanking Kurenai, you slipped a few notes in her direction to pay for both her drinks and your own. You had no idea what was going on right now or who Kakashi was with but the words karaoke bar made you worried. Anko would drag you there after you had far too many drinks and were more subdued to sing with her. You hadn’t had enough drinks to walk into the situation that you did. 

When you walked in you were met with instant heat from the amount of people stuffed into such a small space. Someone was singing and it was absolutely horrific from what you could make out. Getting closer, the sound of singing and backing track got louder and louder. Finally making your way to the bar, you looked around the place. The tables were full with patrons, all of them watching the stage. And the person singing on the stage? He was your soulmate.

You watched in horror as Kakashi sang, more like slur, the words to some love song. He was completely in his element, not a care in the world about his performance. It was a train wreck, one you tried your hardest to look away from and yet your eyes remained glued to Kakashi and the way he slightly swayed to the backing track. You needed a drink and fast.

“Oh good, you’re here” a voice on your right said to you, turning your head to see Yamato standing beside you.

“What the hell is going on?” You asked him, eyes wide aimed at the stage.

“Kakashi might have overdone it on the sake…only a little” Yamato said, pinching his fingers together with only a little gap in between them. Was he drunk too? 

Well, you certainly didn’t expect to ever see Kakashi in such a state. Finally the song was over and Kakashi tried not to stumble off the stage, handing the microphone to the next person in line. 

“And you couldn’t handle it on your own, why?” 

Yamato quickly sipped some fruity cocktail and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well I was going to meet up with some of my old Anbu pals after this but Kakashi needs to get home. I mean look at him”

Is he actually serious? He couldn’t have gotten Gai or just dropped him off on the way there? You shook your head, letting out a defeated sigh as Kakashi headed towards you both. “You know what, it’s fine. I’ll deal with it”

The music was too loud and the person singing after Kakashi wasn’t sounding any better. You thought you heard Yamato say something like I owe you one and he most certainly did owe you. Finally Kakashi made it to you, his cheeks red and his eyes in a smile. 

“(Y/N)! What are you doing here?” He asked, sounding excited to see you. “Yamato, have you met my soulmate? (Y/N)? They have such pretty eyes, don’t you think?”

“Yes, I’ve met (Y/N)” Yamato said, giving you both a smile as Kakashi put one arm around your waist, his head rested on your shoulder.

With him leaning on you he was heavy as it was. You didn’t want to think of how much of a struggle it was going to be to get him home on your own. You’d make do, you were a jonin ranked shinobi, you had done much harder things.

“I’m here to take you home, Kakashi” You informed him, your tone plain. 

“You’re taking me home, huh?” He slurred, his head lifted slightly but still sat on your shoulder. His breath, despite the mask, still managed to tickle the side of your neck.

Jabbing his shoulder with your fingers, you frowned gently at his attempts of being smooth and flirty. “Get your mind out of the gutter, pervert” 

Suddenly his head bolted up, both his hands landed on your upper arms. His grip was firm but not painful as he turned you to face him. His face clumsily came closer to yours, smelling the sake on his breath as he spoke. “If you want to see a pervert, I can show you one…”

It was taking you everything not to stomp on his foot and leave by yourself. To make matters worse, Yamato was still there. Sipping his cocktail as he watched all of this unfold. Grabbing Kakashi by his upper arm, your grip a lot firmer than his had been, you started to drag him out of the bar. Kakashi was lucky you didn’t drag him by his ear. You gave Yamato a quick wave as you escorted Kakashi through the crowd and out of the place. 

As you secured Kakashi with one of his arms slung around your neck and your arm around his waist, he hummed a random tune. Continuing to hum it as you both slowly started your journey. Kakashi’s apartment was on the other side of the village whereas yours was a lot closer, you made the decision you’d let him sleep it off at yours. Beggars couldn’t be choosers after all. The tune he hummed sounded a lot like the song he had been singing before. You couldn’t be too sure, you didn’t make it a habit to listen to love songs.

“You know, I like being this close to you” Kakashi said quietly as his grip around your waist tightened only slightly. What if he was addicted to the pull, like Kurenai had said.

“That's the best you got?” You asked him, unamused. There was no time for his sweet talk, you had a mission and that was to get him back to yours.

“What about… I think we should get a lot closer?” He suggested flirtatiously only to be met by your raised eyebrow and your blank expression. Turning his head to look around him, he sighed. “You’re a tough nut to crack, in fact I think you might be worse than I am” 

“I know but...I’m trying the best I can…” You said softly as you looked down at your feet, trying to make sure you didn’t step on his toes. When you looked up to him, he was smiling. His index gently tapped your nose.

Finally Kakashi realised you weren’t taking him back to his place. He looked around, his head weary as he informed you that you were going the wrong way. Then he sprung up the moment you told him you were taking him back to yours. It was hard not to let out a huff and roll your eyes as he hummed to himself once more.

Getting into yours, you helped him slip off his sandals at the door and led him to your bedroom, dumping him on your bed. As he sat up, you assisted him in taking off his vest which caused a wide smile to appear on his face. You didn’t need the mask to be pulled down to see it and you lightly frowned as a result from it. Pervert. Placing it on a chair in the corner, you moved to turn on the lamp by your bed. Kakashi lay back, his head hitting your pillow, getting himself comfortable. As you glanced at him briefly you noticed something. He was on your side of the bed. 

“You can take my bed tonight, I’ll take the couch” You told him as you flipped the switch on, turning off the main bedroom light afterwards. 

Kakashi never got super drunk, not when you saw him out anyway. You weren’t sure if this was a normal occurrence but you figured he’d need all the help he could get with the current state he was in. Water and food pills were your go-to hangover cure. In the mornings when you woke up regretting the night before, food pills were a blessing. They helped revitalise your chakra in order to help the rest of your body get into gear, a massive reason why you were able to perform your duties as well as maintain a slight drinking problem (slight was understatement). After tucking him in, your plan was to go and grab some for him for the morning after. As you walked towards the door you felt a hand wrap itself around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. 

Kakashi was on the other end tugging you gently back towards him. Almost falling off the bed to catch you. “No, no. Wait. I haven’t seen you all day”

“You should really go to sleep-“ You said as you tried to tug your arm back only for Kakashi to cut you off.

“Just stay for a moment,” He said quietly, looking up to you like a pleading puppy. His hand still gently held onto your wrist, holding you in place. 

Looking down at him, it was like your brain went blank for a moment. Staring at his one eye staring at you, silently pleading you to stay. You supposed he would be a master of the puppy eyes, learning it from the best. He was a ninja hound user after all. You relented, letting out a sigh as you gave him a nod, accepting his request. Kakashi’s hand came away from your wrist and you lay down on the bed next to him over the covers until he ripped the cover from under you, making you join him under the blanket. 

You tried to settle in, shifting around to get comfortable but still it was hard to ignore the weight next to you. Kakashi lay still, breathing gently. There was no knowing his intentions for making you stay. Maybe he just wanted your company. 

“Gai challenged me today. He said he needed to see if I was worthy of being your soulmate… or something like that” You said, breaking the silence as you tried to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling of lying so close to Kakashi. “I lost all but one challenge. The eating challenge”

There was no way you were going to tell him about you puking it all up later. Then you figured he’d just hear about it from Gai anyway. You had been doomed from the beginning. 

“And did you measure up to Gai’s standards?” Kakashi asked, amused at the idea. 

“Apparently yes” You said, your head turned to the side to look at his reaction. “Trust me, I’m surprised too”

Kakashi didn’t react or say anything. He just looked up to the ceiling as if he was thinking about it. 

“Do you do that with him? All the time?”

“When I have free time” He lightly chuckled, one arm slipped underneath his head. 

“Wow…” You said. You could not believe Kakashi would do that in his free time. Then again all you did in your free time was eat and drink alcohol so testing your vigor probably was a better option out of the two. 

“If I had known Gai was going to challenge you, I would have told him to not to bother” Kakashi said. 

Well at least he had no idea that Gai was out here challenging you, somehow it would have made it worse if Kakashi was the one giving Gai the idea. 

“Do you really think I’m that incapable of doing a couple of challenges?” You slightly laughed. 

No doubt he probably thought you slightly were. You didn’t get Gai’s ‘blessing’ because you won every challenge, you got it because you _‘didn’t give up’_. The truth was that you were just doing what he told you to. Waiting for him to tell you to stop and that it was over. 

“It’s not that…” Kakashi said, his head turned to face you. 

Your head turned to face him too, wondering what he was going to say. Would it be that he didn’t think silly challenges were your thing? Or that you wouldn’t get along with Gai? You weren’t sure what was going to spill out of his mouth so instead you stared at him and waited for him to say something. Though it hadn’t been long, the silence felt intimidating. ”You’ve already proven yourself worthy of being my soulmate”

Your chest felt tight, your eyes wide. Unable to think or say anything in response to him. You just stared at each other in silence, soaking it all in. Kakashi was drunk, he probably didn’t mean it or would remember saying it the next morning.

Suddenly his hand slid into yours, his fingers in between the gaps of yours. Kakashi closed them lightly. Your heart almost beat out of your chest at how sudden it was. Closing your eyes, you accepted it. It was what you wanted the other night right? You wondered what it would be like and now you knew. It felt as if your hand was full, warm. His fingers gently grazed the back of your hand, it felt comforting, just like the kiss. 

“No one’s ever broken into a library after hours to make a handwritten copy of one of my favourite book series” Kakashi laughed and you could feel the heat rise to your cheeks. “or broken their arm doing it”

This was so embarrassing. He wasn’t meant to find out about that...ever. Your eyes opened wide, your teeth clenched together as you cringed. “How did you find out?” 

Kakashi turned his head to the side to look at you. Feeling your embarrassment, his thumb caressed the skin of your hand in an attempt to comfort you. “Anko couldn’t stop laughing about it. She thought I already knew” 

You sighed, closing your eyes. Kakashi was going to find out every little embarrassing thing about you, you supposed you’d just have to get over it. “Figures”

It was silent and your hand was still in Kakashi’s. Your thoughts ran wild. Especially in regards to the pull. You wondered if Kakashi was addicted to the pull, the touch. If he had been touch starved this entire time he might be. There was a high chance he was, you never heard anything from the Konoha gossip mill that Kakashi had been with someone before. Was the reason you didn’t react to the touch and pull like he did was due to you using strangers to numb your loneliness? This phenomenon was confusing and interesting and you couldn’t help but get carried away at dissecting it piece by piece just to understand it. 

Then you wondered if Kakashi was going to want to hold your hand more now that you let him. Was this a small allowance of affection in your relationship? Were you prepared to continue allowing it? Kurenai’s words stuck out, the ones about denying yourself happiness. You were only pulled out of your thoughts when Kakashi spoke quietly. 

“Can I hold you?” He asked quietly, almost hesitant. “Just ‘till I fall asleep, then you can leave”

Kakashi didn’t want to just hold your hand anymore, he wanted to hold you entirely. You put it down to him being drunk, just like the ‘proving yourself’ comment. However you did want to explore the pull more, wondering what would happen if he did hold you. 

“Okay” You whispered. He did say just till he fell asleep after all. That wouldn’t be too long. 

Kakashi rolled over to his side, his arms reached for you. You had turned onto your side too, facing the opposite way from him. He reeled you in quickly, still strong despite the liquor in his system. His arms wrapped around your torso, one arm draped over your waist, fingers tucking under the hem of your shirt so he could feel your skin. Kakashi was spooning you, you had never been spooned before not even by a one night stand. At first you stiffened, trying to get comfortable with someone being so close like this. Trying to slow your breathing so you could relax. With his fingers gently stroking the skin of your stomach, you slowly began to relax. The touch was starting to set in. That comfort feeling had come back. 

“You know, you’re on my side of the bed” You whispered, figuring you should let him know.

“Is that a problem?” He whispered against your skin, sending chills down your spine. You tried not to jump away from him.

“No, not really” You whispered, shaking your head gently.

Kakashi’s body against yours was warm, it was like your body against his fit perfectly. Closing your eyes, you embraced the warmth. Your mind came up with little theories about the connection as you waited patiently for him to fall asleep. You never got the chance to sneak out, falling asleep right next to Kakashi just as fast as he did. 


	8. picnic at a cemetery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morbid picnics and hand holding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... we’ve arrived... public displays of affection 😳

Finishing up a one week mission, it was your turn to report the success of the mission to Lady Hokage. It was quick and brief and she seemed pleased with your results and even more pleased to kick you out of her office so she could continue her mountains of paperwork. You were walking home, thinking about having a shower and a drink when you glanced at your wrist. No note from Kakashi. It was just like that day you were called to collect him from the karaoke bar. You hoped this was not another one of those incidents.

When you took him home that night and he held you in his arms, you had fallen asleep next to him which was never your intention. Waking up the morning after, Kakashi was still holding onto you tightly. After that he was holding your hand whenever he could and it took awhile for you to get used to it. Kakashi never did it in public, you had a feeling he was waiting for you to make the first move and tell him it was okay. You appreciated his patience. Still he held your hand whenever you were alone, taking any opportunity he could to do so. You were starting to understand Kakashi’s addiction to the touch, his hand was always so warm and it was always so comforting to hold it. It was like you never felt alone. 

Wherever he was, you tried to shrug it off. Trying to focus on thinking about what you wanted to eat later tonight. That's when you saw Kakashi turn a corner. Hanging on his arm was a picnic basket. Your eyebrows rose at the sight. Since when did Kakashi Hatake go on picnics and with who? 

Feeling a mix between jealousy and curiosity, you decided to pursue him and figure out what was going on. As he walked along the street, you noticed a bottle of wine poking out of the top of the basket. Sitting on the rooftops as you watched him walk along the street, you ducked down when you saw Kakashi enter the Yamanaka flower shop. In his hand was a bouquet of white lilies. Concern hit you out of nowhere. What if he was seeing someone else?

You continued to follow him by taking the rooftops, your heart beating fast as he would slightly turn his head and you would duck down to take cover. You were a good shinobi but he was a former Anbu captain and his stealth ability was way better than yours, you’d admit it. What if he could tell you were tailing him?

Now you were at the outskirts of the village, trailing quietly behind Kakashi. It felt like you were walking to the cemetery which made you wonder why Kakashi would want to have a romantic picnic at the cemetery. It was kind of a morbid place to do it. 

You sat on a branch high above the cemetery, hidden by the surrounding leaves and branches as you watched Kakashi set up a small blanket in front of a gravestone. He lay back on the blanket, one arm resting under his head as he watched the clouds. You were on high alert, waiting for Kakashi's new girlfriend or boyfriend or whoever they were to show their face. But then you heard him sigh.

“Are you going to say hello or are you going to keep watching me from that tree?” He asked, his eyes closed as spoke.

You stiffened as you were caught out. So he _did_ know you were there after all, how long had he known you were following him. Leaping down from the tree, you landed on your feet. Slowly approaching Kakashi who remained lying on his blanket. You stood over him, glancing to the grave in front of where he had set up. Sakumo Hatake. 

“You’ve been following me since the flower shop, you should really work on that” Kakashi smiled up at you, his eyes still closed as he relaxed. “Did you want my help with that?”

You stiffened, swallowing hard and shaking your head profusely. “No, it’s fine. I was just wondering what you were doing”

“It’s the anniversary of my fathers death. I like to visit him every year, it’s kind of a tradition” 

“Oh. I’m so sorry” You said, now you felt awkward. You should have known better, of course he wasn’t seeing someone else. “I’ll leave you to it-“

“No, no. Stay” He interrupted you, sitting up from his previous position. 

“I feel like I’d be intruding” You tried to decline politely. 

You understood how important this type of time was. Time with loved ones who passed away too soon, something that felt so personal and private. Sometimes it was nice to just be in their presence, nice to talk to them like they had never left. Even if you felt in ruins for a long time afterwards. It had been awhile since you talked to your own parents, it still hurt having to grow without them even after all this time. 

“You wouldn’t” Kakashi tried to reassure you, moving over to make space for you.

Reluctantly you sat down next to him, your legs crossed as you stared at the gravestone in front of you. Silent as you took it all in. You didn’t know much about Kakashi’s father, you had heard rumours that was a great man and shinobi. As a kid you hadn’t paid a lot of attention to that kind of stuff. 

“Hey dad, this is someone I want you to meet…” Kakashi talked to the gravestone, his voice was slightly quieter than usual, “I finally met my soulmate and now you’re meeting them too, this is (Y/N)”

You felt frozen, stiff. Trying your hardest to swallow the lump in your throat. Kakashi was introducing you to his father and you understood the weight of that. You wouldn’t introduce just anyone to your parents after all. Kakashi looked at you, almost expecting you to speak so you swallowed again and took a deep breath.

“Uh… Hi, I’m (Y/N)” You said, looking to Kakashi for reassurance. He smiled at you gently, a smile that said you were doing just fine.

Kakashi spoke to his father about many things and he didn’t mind that you were right next to him as he spoke. He spoke about training and his missions from the past year. How his refrigerator started leaking when he was away, the movies he watched, the books he read (not that he had strayed far from Make-Out Paradise), the places he travelled to. Anything he needed to catch his father up on, he did so. And then his head turned to you, his hand reached for yours.

“Anyways, I found my soulmate. Well more like they found me and teased me for months on end” He said, smiling at you. If you weren’t at his father’s grave you would have given him a slap on the arm. “Yeah, I know. It took me long enough but they’re here now and I hope they’re not going anywhere any time soon” 

You closed your eyes, taking in a deep breath. Upon releasing it, you looked at Kakashi. He was smiling, he was happy. It felt so strange to hear yourself being talked about when you were right there, you realised it meant a lot to Kakashi. He said he hoped you weren’t going anywhere, did you really mean that much to him? You were bratty and messy and morally questionable at best. You hid yourself behind a grumpy, tough, and aloof persona to protect yourself from everyone, he knew that didn't he? Kakashi knew that and he still saw you as someone worth caring for? Even despite your soul's connection?

“I think you’re going to like them, it didn't take long but they certainly grew on me. I hope they grow on you too” Kakashi said, giving your hand a quick squeeze. 

Even long after he had finished talking, you didn’t let go of his hand. It was like you were in a haze. Time passed and he finally let go of your hand, passing you a glass of wine instead and you happily took it. There was something about talking to dead parents that got you shook up, maybe it was your inability to have a picnic with them like Kakashi. Any time you visited yours you just cried like a baby. It was hard to sit there next to Kakashi as he smiled while you tried your hardest not to look over your shoulder to their graves in the distance. You just hoped a couple of glasses would knock some sense into you.

You and Kakashi ate the food he brought along with him. Onigiri, dumplings and other savoury treats. Soon enough the bottle of wine was gone, the last glass sat in front of Sakumo Hatake’s gravestone. Kakashi said he was sure his old man would want one. Your head in Kakashi’s lap, watching the clouds go by while listening to the sound of the trees rustle in the breeze. Kakashi’s hand stroked your forehead, removing stray strands away from your face. It was comforting, soothing. So soothing you wanted to fall asleep. 

You never thought you’d be here with him like this, accepting his touch so openly. It felt so casual, like it wasn’t a big deal which made it so much easier for you to adjust. You supposed after months of people wearing you down about accepting your happiness, you finally relented. However it didn’t mean you wanted to rush into anything. You were just enjoying the small bits and pieces along the way, allowing things to progress naturally. It helped having missions, sometimes being apart of weeks. 

“You’re not falling asleep on me are you?” Kakashi asked, you opened your eyes to see him smiling down at you.

“Maybe” You said as you closed your eyes once more, embracing his fingertips moving slowly against your skin. 

“Let’s get going. I think we’ve bothered the old man enough for one day”  
  
You helped Kakashi put away the blanket and glasses. He poured out the wine into the soil in front of his fathers grave, hoping it would reach him down there. It was morbid to think about but death was one of those things you had to come to terms with as a shinobi. Everyone had their ways of coping with it. Kakashi was kind enough to help you stand, quickly locking his fingers in between yours. He waved goodbye to his father, telling him he’d see him next year. You said your goodbyes too, telling him it was nice to meet him.

As you walked away from the cemetery, your eyes were glued to the spot where your parents were laid to rest. Beating yourself up for not bringing them flowers but you supposed you didn’t know you were coming. Kakashi noticed you were off, asking if you were okay only for you to nod your head and tear your eyes away from the two gravestones in the distance.

“You know, I don’t let just anyone come with me to see him” Kakashi said as you were walking back towards the village hand in hand. “Not even Gai but I’m sure he stops by in his own time”

You paused to look at him. Meeting his father was one thing but knowing that Kakashi didn’t just let anyone see his father, let alone bring his best friend to be there on his anniversary made your brain want to implode. Did you really mean that much to him? That he wanted to share something with you that he shares with no one else. Kakashi could see you were finding it hard to say anything so he squeezed your hand and kept walking. 

“I suppose you’ll have to meet Rin next. I’m sure she’ll be happy to meet you too” 

“Thank you” You finally said, looking up at him, “for letting me meet him”

Kakashi smiled at you with his eyes. “I’m glad you did”

You supposed you’d have to introduce him to your parents too. Maybe one day when it didn’t cause your eyes to swell at the suggestion of seeing them. You wished you could be like Kakashi and just sit at your parents grave and drink a bottle of wine with them. You didn’t know how he found the strength to do it but you admired him for it.

You were about to enter the village when Kakashi let go of your hand. Knowing you weren’t exactly about being so public about your affections. He walked a couple of steps ahead of you and you stood in place and watched him. You meant so much to him, he kept showing you time and time again and you couldn’t even hold his hand in front of everyone. As you sighed, cursing yourself for being this way, Kakashi turned around.

“You coming?” He asked as he waited for you.

You lightly jogged to meet him, finally back by his side. The two of you kept walking, now back in the village streets. As you walked you stared at his empty hand more and more. Then, to Kakashi’s surprise, your hand slid into his. Kakashi’s head snapped to look at you, his eye wide in surprise as you continued to walk alongside him. 

“Are you sure?” He asked. You nodded in reply, feeling slightly shy and reserved.

Being at the cemetery had made you feel completely vulnerable and having Kakashi’s hand in yours made you feel safe as strange as it felt. It was the next big step, the least you could do seeing as Kakashi allowed you to meet his father. You were finally understanding what this meant to him. Even with everyone’s eyes on the both of you, you still held on. Kakashi squeezed your hands a couple of times to let you know he was here with you. You were glad Anko wasn’t in the village right now. She would have followed behind you and teased you endlessly, completely ruining the moment.

Stepping out onto the streets of Konoha with your hand in Kakashi’s for the first time felt like you were entering a whole new world. Terrifying but deep down, it was something new to explore. It was safe to say you liked Kakashi despite your rocky beginnings. It took you long enough to get there but you were finally there. Accepting what he was trying to give you without feeling guilty or rejecting it out of pride and fear. You still had a long way to go. You weren’t ready to feel his lips on yours again or be mushy with your feelings or give him little lovey dovey compliments but you were getting somewhere and that was the main thing.

“Yo! Kakashi!” You heard Genma call out, “Oh (Y/N)!”

Genma was with Kotetsu and Izumo, all three of them had come over only to stop and stare at your entwined hands. You couldn’t stand to see these idiots gawking over it even as the heat rose to your cheeks.

“Aw, you guys are so cute,” Kotetsu said, smiling at the two of you. You couldn’t tell if he was just making a joke of it or not. 

You frowned. This was a big moment for you and these idiots were ruining it. “What do you idiots want?”

“Geez (Y/N), we’re heading to the bar. You guys gonna come or are you two headed back home for some alone time?” Genma asked, making kissing noises. So mature. 

You would have grabbed him by the collar if it wasn’t for Kakashi squeezing your hand tight. Instead your glared at him. “Say anything about it again and I’ll put all three of you into an early retirement”

“Damn (Y/N), so grouchy” Genma said, backing off, “Anyways, if you two lovebirds change your mind…”

And with that the three men were off, lucky to not have been pummeled to death by your fists. As they walked off, Kakashi began to silently laugh to himself.

“What’s so funny?” You pouted. 

This was a serious moment that didn’t need anyone poking their noses in and gawking at the two of you. 

“You just get so cute when you’re mad” He smiled down at you, that smile quickly faded as soon as your one eyebrow rose at him. As if you were asking him to push you further and see what happens. 

Kakashi walked you back to yours. Hand in hand the entire time. It was actually quite nice despite your sweaty palms, increased heartbeat, and those three stupid pathetic excuses for shinobi.

“You know, if you need any help disposing of a body, I’m on board” He said as he stood in your doorway. 

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “I’ll take you up on that”

He says this now but when you eventually drag a body to his front door, he won’t be so amused then. Kakashi began to lean on your doorframe, his face a few inches closer to yours than before. 

“Do you think I’ll be fortunate enough to get a kiss tonight?” Kakashi asked, trying to act cool and collected as he leaned on your doorframe. 

“Hmm… I wouldn’t push it” You teased, your nose scrunched up for a moment as a light smile spread across your face. 

“Uh huh. I guess I’ll just have to settle for this then” 

Kakashi pulled his mask down under his chin, his lips aimed for your cheek and you tilted your head to him to show him you’d allow it. His lips pressed to your cheek softly and lingered there for a moment as if he was savouring every second he could. Finally he broke away, his mask pulled up once more.

“Goodnight soulmate” he said as he waved goodbye. Hopping on the railing of your staircase and disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Inside, you took off your vest. Opening a bottle of sake after an emotionally hard day. You wished Anko was back to make you forget about everything for a moment. It was tempting to go down to the bar and join the guys but you weren’t in the mood to be teased by those morons. 

You had found your pen in your pocket and took it out. Scribbling a note on your wrist. 

_Thank you for holding my hand_

With a glass of sake in hand, you leaned back on the couch and stared at your wrist. Minutes later ink started to form on your skin.

_Thank you for letting me hold it_


	9. memory lane part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have another two parter chapter but i think you’ll like where it goes 🥴

You were digging out boxes you had stored away many years ago out of a dark closet in your home. Dusting off the top of each box one by one and opening to reveal forgotten treasures left inside. A lot of this stuff belonged to your parents and you were always promising your father you would read the books he once cherished. Most of them sat on your bookshelf but there were a few tucked away as well.

As you took out random books and knick knacks, you stumbled upon a notebook. Dusting it off as you held it in your hands. This old thing, tattered and ripped. Your old journal from when you had to be about eighteen, almost turning nineteen. 

Opening it up you saw the date, correct in your suspicions. It must have been seven years ago when you finished writing your thoughts and experiences on the last page, throwing it in a box and never picking it up again.

Your fingers flicked through the pages, spotting keywords from days you had long forgotten about. Then you saw one word that stuck out among them. Kakashi.

Curious to your thoughts back then, you turned back a page, starting from the beginning of the entry.

_I’ve been given a mission by myself today. I leave next week and I’m slightly nervous. I don’t want to screw it up but I need to prove I’m capable of making jonin. My mud wall has improved way beyond my expectations and I’m starting to pick up water jutsu really well._

You smiled at your younger self. You really had tried your best back then and you remembered the hours alone spent training to hone your abilities. Making jonin was everything to you back then.

_Today I went for a walk around the village to think about it. It still hurts to see some of the construction isn’t finished yet even after all this time. I can’t help but think of ma and pa. I avoid our house but sometimes I get stuck having to walk past it and I can’t stand to look at it._

You wish you could have sat the eighteen year old version of yourself down and told them that it does get better, slightly. That one day you’d walk by your old family home and it wouldn’t feel like a ton of bricks came down on top of you. That one day there would be a new family in a new home that sits where yours once did and they’d be making happy memories there in your place. Even if you didn’t understand your grief thirteen years on, you were in a much better place than you were seven years ago. 

_Anyways, I was walking when I saw Gai and Kakashi walking by and Gai waved at me and I waved back but Kakashi just ignored my existence entirely. He’s so stupid. I bet he thinks he’s the best thing since the invention of the lightbulb and he’s so infuriating. How rude can you get?_

You burst out laughing. God, you remembered that. Remembered how Gai enthusiastically greeted you as a fellow comrade when you walked by and how Kakashi just looked ahead and kept walking. You remembered being so infuriated by him being such a snob. 

_And it gets so much worse! I was reading at the park. I finally fished out one of pa’s old books and I thought I would have the courage to finally read it. I got to the first page and you wouldn’t believe who walked by. Kakashi with his stupid hair and his stupid Anbu get up. And it was bad enough he was just walking by but he actually stopped to talk to me. Like oh so now that you’re alone it’s okay to talk to me. He must think he’s so above me._

_Anyways he asked what I was reading and I showed him and then he said I didn’t look like someone who would read books about the history of clans and it just got me so mad. I let him have it, I just went off about how I’m not dumb just because he thinks I am. He said something when I stormed off and I’m not even sure what he said. I wasn’t going to stick around and have Kakashi Hatake make me feel stupid. So I guess I’ll have to read pa’s book another time._

Your cheeks were red when you remembered that. It was a warm afternoon and you picked the park to attempt to read your fathers book. Your hands had trembled as you held onto it and it took you a long time to open it after staring down at it. You were reading the first paragraph when Kakashi was walking by. You had looked up to see him standing there, his hands in his pockets as he took a peek at the title of the book in your hands. You remembered it being a big moment for you even opening that book and you had felt like Kakashi had ruined it by interrupting. His comment about you not seeming like the type of person to be interested in history books made it worse. Looking back on it, maybe your reaction had been overkill but you were just a bundle of mess and emotions back then. It was funny that eighteen year old you didn’t realise how important Kakashi was going to turn out to be later in your life.

_Oh! This is super important. After the whole Kakashi thing, I was writing a shopping list on my hand so I didn’t forget and my soulmate responded. They actually responded. I have a soulmate! They said something stupid about making an actual list on paper but I don’t care! I have one! I’m not alone anymore! I wrote back asking them who they were but nothing yet! I hope they respond soon._

Ah, eighteen year old you. So naive. You wished you could have told them all about your soulmate, you would imagine their face would drop and their jaw would be on the floor. If only they had known their soulmate had been in front of them this whole time. You wondered how you would have reacted if you found out then.

You threw the open book on your coffee table, leaning back on your couch as you reflected on the years of your youth. Simpler times indeed. Your train of thought was interrupted by a knock at your door. You sprung alive and hopped off of your couch to answer it. 

“Hey” You greeted Kakashi as he stood outside your door. You weren’t expecting him to visit or else you wouldn’t have pulled out all that stuff. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, just wanted to check in on you” Kakashi said as he entered your home. “You weren’t at the bar and I got worried” 

Your mouth opened wide at his comment. Slapping him lightly on his upper arm in retaliation. “Shut up”

“What are you doing? Looks like a big mess” Kakashi asked as he stood in the middle of your living room looking at the scattered boxes around the room. Some stacked on top of each other, some wide open. 

“I was just digging through some old stuff.” You said as you approached your coffee table, picking up your journal. “Actually I found my old journal, you might like this entry in particular”

Kakashi took the book in his hands as you turned the pages to the beginning of the entry. Pointing to the page where it started to help guide him. Slightly uncomfortable about him reading the part about your parents but you knew he’d forget about it once he read the parts about him.

“Oh…” Kakashi said as he read, one eyebrow raised. “Trust me I did not think I was the best thing since the invention of the light bulb, not back then”

“Do you think that now?” You asked him, one hand on your hip. Curious to see if he thought any better of himself now that he was older and wiser. 

“Of course not” Kakashi said as he continued reading. “Are you sure you _only_ started disliking me a couple of years ago?”

You watched as he read the part about the park and he slightly chuckled as he read on. Closing the book for a moment, using his finger as a bookmark, he smiled. “I remember that. You were so mad, I didn’t get why” Kakashi mused as he reopened the book, reading on. 

Then he got to the part about the soulmates, you could tell because the smile of his face disappeared and it was as if was reflecting heavily about it.

“(Y/N)...” He sighed as he closed the book, “I really let you down with that”

This wasn’t meant to become some pity party, it was meant to be something the both of you laughed at. Something to look back on and embrace how far your relationship had come from all the way back then. 

“It’s just a dumb journal entry from seven years ago. It’s fine-“ You tried to say only for Kakashi to cut you off. 

“If I had known-“

“Listen, back then I was hurt. Not just because of the soulmates thing but from everything else. Yeah, it hurt thinking my soulmate didn’t want to know me and then years later finding out it was you…I thought you looked down at me, and I always thought you did but it looks like I had it all wrong” 

Kakashi remained silent. The book balanced on the top of your couch cushions, his hands were now stuffed in his pockets as he thought about everything you were saying. You didn’t want to see him like this so you approached him. Your hands finding their way to his neck. Kakashi looked down at you, not expecting your touch. 

“You explained it and it took awhile but I get it now. You were in a shitty mental place back then just like I was. Maybe it’s better now than it would have been” You said to him, trying to assure him it was fine.

You had thought about it, just like everything else, for a while now. When you were on missions just walking for hours and had nothing else better to do. At eighteen you were a mess, the old journal proved that. You were still trying to process the loss of your parents, you were still trying to make jonin to prove yourself to everyone and honour your parents. All the hardships you had faced over the years had just made you the person you were standing in front of him on this day. You weren’t perfect by any means. You were still a mess, you still felt angry at times, you still sometimes carried a chip on your shoulder but you were wiser for all of it. It was the same for Kakashi too. You had heard rumours about some of the things the Anbu did. In combination with everything Kakashi had experienced, little things you heard about at the bar after staying a little too long. Kakashi wouldn’t have been in a place to accept such a thing as a soulmate at that time of his life either. It made it easier to accept the past hurt that came with that. The stupid replies, the teasing, the ignoring. All of it. For the first time in your life you were ready to look past something. 

You and Kakashi were close. He removed his hands from his pockets to hold your waist, your hands roamed from his neck to his lower back, as if you were embracing with something in between the two of you. 

Kakashi smiled, his eye darting around the room. Anywhere but you. Slightly sheepish as he spoke. “You know, that day I approached you…I was kind of interested in you..”

As kids Kakashi never looked in your direction, that you knew of anyway. He was some elite prodigy and you were a few years younger than him and barely on his level jutsu wise. He was made chunin while you were sharpening your pencils at the Academy. By the time you were a genin and out in the big, bad shinobi world, Kakashi was in the Anbu. You’d see him around of course, your friend circles overlapped sometimes. To hear him say that was just ridiculous. 

You let out a scoff. He had to be making that up, there was no way he did. Lightly slapping his chest, you rolled your eyes, smiling as you huffed. “No you didn’t”.

“I was hoping to get to know you better and when I saw you with the book I thought that might be my opening but then you…well you reacted like that…” Kakashi said, slightly laughing. “That night, I wrote back to you for the first time because I was kind of pissed I blew my shot”

You looked him in the eye, your brow furrowed as you tried to gauge him. “Are you lying?”

Kakashi pulled you a little bit closer towards him. Smiling down at you. This mood he was in, light and playful, was a lot better than him brooding.

“Have you ever known me to lie?”

Was that even a question? You rolled your eyes. “Former Anbu Captain’s lie...a lot. It’s kind of a part of the job, right?

“Hmm…you do have a point there…” Kakashi said. Of course you had a point. 

Your bodies were closer than ever. Your chin on his upper chest as you looked up at him, your hands on each other’s body still. You felt the pull, that strange magnetic pull to him. Feeling comfort from the warmth of his body. When you had first started touching each other so casually and openly, after that night you dragged his drunk body back to yours, you wondered if you would get addicted to the pull like you suspected Kakashi was. Soon enough you found yourself wanting to ignore that train of thought entirely. You drunk alcohol in excess because you liked feeling light headed and stupid, even with all the consequences that came with it. It wouldn’t be wrong to get drunk off of him too, not when the universe made it that way between soulmates. Perhaps you were easily hooked on a feeling you liked, one you tried to deny yourself for a while. 

Kakashi’s face came close to yours, your noses touched as he bent over slightly to meet you. He spoke quietly, smiling at you. “I wouldn’t lie to you though”

You let him go, backing away from him. He really did think he was such a smooth, sweet talker. “Sure” You laughed, rolling your eyes at him. He didn’t think you would actually fall for that, did he?

“I was thinking about making you dinner since you’re going to be off on a mission soon” Kakashi tucked his hands in his pockets, swaying slightly from side to side. “Was thinking we could go to the market together”

You had to go to the market anyway, quickly you grabbed the pen from your pocket. “As long as you’re cooking it” You said as you scribbled on the back of your hand.

Kakashi looked down at his own hand, waiting for the ink to appear on his skin. “I was also thinking this could be a good time to teach you the basics”

You hummed, considering it. Kakashi was a good cook and you supposed you needed to learn sometime even if it was better to just sit back with a glass of something and watch him do it all instead. 

“Sure but it’s at your own risk” You accepted, grabbing your vest from the arm of your couch and putting on.

You assumed he’d want to leave now so you got yourself ready and looked around to see if you were missing anything. Your wallet was on your hallway table as well as your keys so you would grab them on your way out. Slipping on your sandals, you looked at Kakashi to see him staring down at his hand. He seemed a little confused.

“Pick up the thing?” He read outloud, looking up to you as he hoped you’d clarify the meaning of the ink stuck to his hand. 


	10. memory lane part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys part two is here and I am low-key nervous to see how this is gonna turn out but enjoy oof

You roamed around the market stands with Kakashi by your side. His hand in yours as he inspected each vegetable with a lot of consideration. You had picked up any old thing and Kakashi would say _‘not that one’_ and put it back before explaining all the reasons why. It was slightly irritating how picky he was being because they’re just vegetables after all. Buying food from the market with Kakashi felt oddly domestic and you wondered if this was what life would be like when you were finally ready to make it official. Would the two of you be at the markets every free day you shared with Kakashi informing you that the onion you picked is half rotten or the potato you grabbed has sprouts? You supposed there were worse fates out there for you, it was a life your parents probably wanted for you.

“My hair’s not that stupid is it?” Kakashi randomly asked you as you finished up buying ingredients. A basket of vegetables hung off his arm. 

“Only a little” You had laughed slightly as he referenced your old journal, or maybe he had been told that many times in his life. Your free hand reached for his hair, playing with the ends you could reach. “I like it the most when it’s down”

Suddenly you realised you were walking past the photo store and you halted immediately. Letting go of Kakashi’s hand as you rushed in. 

“Hey, just wait outside!” You instructed him, hovering in the store's doorway before you rushed to the counter. 

Kakashi waited patiently outside, confused as to what you were doing. Then you rushed back out, a medium sized white envelope in your hand as you started walking again. 

“What’s in there?” Kakashi asked as he tried to take a peek at the envelope in your hand. It was obviously a photo but of what? 

“You’re not allowed to look, pervert” You said as you slipped the envelope in your inner vest pocket, zipping your vest up to your chin so he didn’t try to steal it while your guard was down.

“How am I a pervert for wanting to know what’s inside there?” Kakashi asked, slightly offended at the nickname you hadn’t given up yet. “Unless there’s something…suggestive in there…”

You slapped Kakashi’s arm lightly. Dirty minded idiot. There was nothing suggestive in that envelope. In fact the photo was a gift for him. 

A few days ago you saw Gai while you were walking to Ichiraku. He stopped you with a smile and you got chatting casually about missions and training until he asked you what you had done for Kakashi’s birthday. That’s when you found out it had been two weeks prior and Kakashi had completely neglected to tell you. Not only did you feel like a terrible soulmate for not even knowing his birthday, you felt like you had slipped from Gai’s graces. So here you were two weeks later, trying to make up for it. 

“Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?” You frowned as you asked.

Then again you were pretty sure you hadn’t told Kakashi when your birthday was either, not that it was coming up or anything. He might have remembered it from the times he was at the bar when you were celebrating the occasion, tucked away in a corner with his book like he always was. 

“You were on a mission,” Kakashi said, his free hand waving in the air casually which caused your frown to deepen. 

“That’s no excuse, Kakashi!” You lectured him.

“Is that for me?” Kakashi tried to change the subject back onto the mysterious photo residing in your vest pocket. He almost sounded like he was teasing you as he spoke. “Did you get me a gift, (Y/N)?” 

“You’re not allowed to look!” You said, adamant that he was not going to take even the littlest peek at it until it was ready. 

* * *

Kakashi didn’t exactly tell you what the meal was, he just instructed you to wash, peel and cut the vegetables. He was beside you in the kitchen wearing the only apron you owned, shocked to find out you didn’t have many kitchen utensils to aid in cooking. He was a good teacher though, teaching you the official names for the types of ways you could cut vegetables. Even if you had already forgotten half of them. 

“You’re actually not too bad at this,” Kakashi said as you finished cutting the potatoes into cubes, pushing them to the side with your knife. 

“I _am_ a shinobi. I do know how to use a knife, you know” You said as you waved the chef's knife around. Before, Kakashi had said he was surprised you kept the knives so sharp only for you to admit that you never use them. 

“So…I was thinking about us…” Kakashi leaned against your countertop, his fingers tapped a little nervous tune. 

Us. A word that meant you and him, paired together. Even if you held his hand and let him touch your skin, it was such a strange concept. Us as in team. Team as in soulmates. He just threw it around so casually as if he was so assured while you sat there and dissected every little meaning of the word. You stared at him, wondering what he had been thinking in regards to the two of you.

“I want to lay it all out, everything between us in the past” Kakashi said honestly. You couldn’t help the groan that escaped from your mouth as he did. 

“Kakashi, we’ve done that already and I don’t really feel the need to get into it again” You sighed. He was meant to be teaching you how to cook, not get mushy in your kitchen instead. 

“I don’t want you to hold any old grudges against me” Kakashi explained, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I-I dont. I’m over it” You said, waving your hands around as if that was going to convince him.

Kakashi took your stubbornness head on, not backing down and not taking no for an answer. “Okay, if you won’t start then I will…”

“If I had known it would be like this I would have written back to you sooner, properly that is” Kakashi said, unable to meet your gaze. “I hate the idea of knowing you were so excited about having a soulmate and I just wasn’t living up to it because you deserve it, you really deserve to be loved, (Y/N)”

“Kakashi-“ You tried to interrupt him. Wanting to tell him that all of this was unnecessary but he kept going and there was nothing you could do but stare at him as he did. 

“And I’m going to do everything I can to make up for it, make all the hurt and the disappointment you felt worth it”

You understood what he was trying to say. It was kind and it was sweet but this problem he felt the need to address was all in his head. 

“Oh my god” You moaned out of frustration, your hands in front of your face. “I hate when guys do this white knight bull!”

Then your hands came away from your face and you closed the space between the two of you. Moving so fast Kakashi didn’t see it coming, your hand wrapped around his tightly and you looked at him earnestly in his eye.

“I've already explained how I feel about this and you don’t need to try and make up for anything. Don’t you think you deserve to be loved too?” You asked him, “Don’t you think that maybe I was just as disappointing?”

You thought back to when he found out you were it. With that black x marked on your cheek and the possum like expression you gave him the moment his hand grabbed your arm. You wondered if his stomach dropped when he saw it, wondered if he rolled his eyes and sighed. Because you weren’t some overly talented shinobi with their shit together. You were the person who yelled at him on a park bench when you were kids. You were the person who got too drunk and laughed too loud and took random people home in front of his eyes. You were the person who tormented him for two months for the fun of it instead of coming straight to him and telling him of your shared predicament. You were the person who rejected his affections for so long because you were scared when all he wanted to do was build something with you. If anyone deserved a better soulmate like you thought he insinuated, it was him. 

“You- you weren't” Kakashi said adamantly, shaking his head profusely. It made you wonder what was going through his head in that moment. 

“We’re meant to be equals, right? So let’s be equals. Let’s make it worth it for each other...or something” You said, nodding, trying your best to assure him. 

Beside the both of you, the water in the saucepan began to boil over and Kakashi rushed to fix it before you both got burnt by spitting water and your meal became ruined. You snuck away, going to wrap his present while he handled things. He had called for you what felt like a dozen times, roaming your house to find you in your room. You threw a blanket over your gift wrapping efforts and shooing him away. Kakashi relented and allowed you to carry on, finishing up with dinner. You slapped his hand when you brought out the gift and he reached for it. Feeling like a parent as you told him he could wait till after dinner. 

Dinner was really good and when you told Kakashi that he began rattling on about why you need to pick the best ingredients and why it’s important to be picky. You had just nodded your head, hiding a smile in a glass of wine. Never expecting the infamous copy nin to be so particular about carrots and potatoes. He had complimented your efforts too and you had waved it off, you weren’t some master class chef just yet. 

After dinner you settled down on your couch next to Kakashi with a glass of wine in your hand.

“Okay, I’ll let you open it now” You said as you reached for his gift next to you on the side table, handing it to him with a small smile. “Happy birthday...soulmate” 

Kakashi took the gift and stared down at it. “(Y/N)...you didn’t have to do this”

You let out a puff of air, rolling your eyes at how ‘humble’ he was acting. He wouldn’t be that impressed once he opened it so there was no need for the act. “It’s not that big of a deal just open it”

You watched as he tore the paper away thoughtfully, a photo frame sat in his lap with the back facing him. His eyebrow rose as he turned it over. 

It was a picture of you and Kakashi from the Feudal Lord’s party when you went undercover. Everyone had gotten their picture taken at the door and you thought it would be a sentimental gesture. You had gone through a lot of effort to get your hands on a copy of it. At first you thought it would be super easy to get but it wasn’t that simple. You had to arrange a messenger hawk to ask the head of the house for a copy of the negatives, run two hours to the palace to collect it, and then pay the photo guy in the village double to speed it up. You wanted to get it to Kakashi fast seeing as you had two weeks of lost time to make up for and your mission was only a couple of days away. 

Though you had a quick glance at the photo while you were in the photo store, your first time properly seeing it was in your bedroom while Kakashi cooked dinner. You were both dressed nicely, arm in arm. Kakashi smiled down at you, it looked almost loving as you stared down the lense of the camera and smiled for the sake of the mission. You hadn’t even noticed him stare at you like that as you went through the door but heat rose to your cheeks noticing it now. 

Kakashi didn’t react the way you thought he would, though you weren’t too sure how you expected him to. He leaned back slowly, pulling his mask down under his chin. He just stared at it, one finger tracing the outline of the frame. 

“What…what is it?” You asked, slightly panicked he didn’t like it. 

He chuckled for a second, then he smiled. “You must have gone through a lot of trouble to get this”

You scoffed lightly, you _had_ gone through a lot of trouble to get it. Then he was silent again. You stared up at his bare face, a face you barely saw, trying to figure out what he was thinking and how he was feeling by staring at the light twitches in the corner of his mouth and his thoughtful gaze. 

“I think this might just be better than the Make-Out Paradise draft” Kakashi said, glancing between you and the photo. 

You sat up straight, putting your wine glass down in front of you. For some reason you began blinking rapidly. “What? Why?”

That was the peak of gift ideas and you hadn’t even come up with it yourself. This was just a picture from a night where you wanted to strangle him for turning up late and pulling rank on you. Eventually you’d take a better photo but this was all you had for now. 

Kakashi took a deep breath, a wide smile grew on his face. He turned to look at you, no longer glancing between you and the photo, just you. 

“Because it’s us”

It felt like someone had knocked the wind out of you. _Us_. Your chest felt tight and you were unable to say anything in reply or wave it off like no big deal. This wasn’t the first time he had referred to the two of you like that but with that look in his eye and the way he spoke, it felt different than the rest. 

Kakashi had sat the frame nicely to his side, pointing his body towards you. His hand reached for your face, tenderly placing it on your cheek. His thumb lightly grazed your cheekbone, the sensation made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and you leaned into his touch. You watched as he glanced between your lips and your eyes, licking his lips subtly. Your heart was racing faster than you could count the beats, knowing his lips were on a collision course. You never thought you were ready, that first kiss stuck out in your mind and you were almost frightened to feel that feeling again. That electric shock. But Kakashi was coming closer, his nose brushed past yours and you weren’t going to run away from it.

The moment his lips crashed into yours, you closed your eyes and instantly that spark was there. That feeling of two wires coming together and having electricity flow through it. You allowed it to completely take over your body and mind. Your hands immediately reached for Kakashi, trying to place them anywhere on him, finally settling for the back of his neck. You just wanted to touch him, feel closer to him. It was like he could read your mind because his hands wandered and he pulled you closer, one of his hands rubbed your back. The kiss just kept getting deeper and deeper and you could feel yourself getting lost in it, never wanting to come up for air. You had been missing this the entire time.

Kakashi was the first to break away from you, it was good he did because you would have eaten him whole. The both of you took deep breaths together, your foreheads resting on each other’s and Kakashi’s hand sat on the back of your head, his fingers running through your hair.

“You know, you were right” You said quietly, a blush crept on your cheeks. “You’re not as bad as I thought you were” 

Kakashi laughed, probably glad he proved himself right after all this time. Your fingers traced his jawline as you smiled at him. Everything had felt right just as Kurenai said, it was like you finally understood what she was trying to say. You wish you could string together pretty words to articulate your feelings and thoughts in this moment but all you could do was wish for his lips to crash onto yours once more. 

“I still can’t forgive you for that Land of Stone mission though” You said playfully. 

“I think I can live with that” Kakashi shrugged and his lips came down on yours once more. 


	11. nine tails memorial day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly sloppy chapter but here we go ✈️

It was that day again. The same one that came around every year. At least you weren’t the only person to have lost someone on this day but it didn’t make your loss any less painful. 

You weren’t the only one down at the bar at opening hour so that made you feel slightly better as you poured liquor down your throat at ten in the morning. Everyone here must be just like you, running away from their loss. Those who couldn’t stand laying a flower at the memorial stone with the rest of the village. 

Those who had sat next to you at the bar told you stories of their loss and you shared your own. You would buy each other rounds and pat each other on the back and tell each other it would feel easier soon. It was some sort of unintentional messed up therapy session but it was better than being at home alone with a bottle in your hand.

You had been there for hours. A bottle of sake was long gone and you were considering moving from sake to wine or even something harder. Where was Anko when you needed her? She’d be here making you laugh instead of you pouring your heart out to random people. 

“(Y/N), let’s go” You heard a voice say behind you. Turning around, it was Kakashi. Staring down at your sternly. Well you were pretty sure it was him. His figure was slightly blurry but you knew that black blob on his face from anywhere. 

“Ooh! Have you met my soulmate? He’s quite handsome isn’t he?” Your eyes were glazed as you nudged the person drinking next to you, some stranger you had been blabbing to before. “You should see what’s  _ under _ the mask...”

Kakashi had gently dragged you by your arm, off the stool and out of the bar. His arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you as he escorted you through the streets. He was silent and that made you feel slightly uncomfortable.

“Where are we going? Are we going back to yours? Do you have any more sake?” You asked, your words jumbled together. You didn’t want to stop drinking, the party was only starting, right?

“No-“ Kakashi said before you interrupted him. 

“Okay, do you have any wine?” 

It’s okay if he didn’t have any sake at his, you were in a wine mood anyway. The bottle you drank at the bar was more than enough. It was a bad idea to mix alcohol but you were seasoned veteran and you’d just find some food pills later. 

“No, no more drinking. You’re past your limit”

“That’s fine, I have more at mine anyway”

“(Y/N), this is about the anniversary isn’t it?” Kakashi said gently, stopping in the middle of the street. He looked at you sympathetically and you couldn’t stand it. You knew you looked pathetic and your pride was holding you back from accepting his pity. 

“No! What would give you that idea?” You said as you broke away from his hold, frowning at such a preposterous idea.

But it wasn’t a preposterous idea. In fact Kakashi was right. You  _ were _ trying to run away from the anniversary of your parents death. Hoping to drink the day away and wake up the next morning so you could carry on like normal. 

Kakashi tutted, shaking his head side to side. “You just don’t know what’s good for you, don’t you?”

“What’s that meant to mean?” You asked him, feeling slightly offended he would even say that. 

Kakashi ignored your rising anger, instead he wrapped his arm around your waist once more and he started walking again. “Just come with me, okay?” 

Kakashi made you wait outside Yamanaka’s, giving you a couple of food pills from the pouch strapped to his waist. After some time he came out holding a bouquet of white lilies. You frowned at the sight of it. He wasn’t buying you flowers to make you feel better right? No, when Kakashi bought you flowers he bought you gardenias, recently roses. 

He took your hand without a word, taking you to the outskirts of the village. You had been down this path before, many times. The cemetery. As soon as you realised you tugged on Kakashi’s arm, desperate for him to stop. 

“I can’t see them” 

Kakashi stopped walking. His hand in yours holding tightly as if he was afraid he’d let go and you would run off, more like stumble off, back to the village.

“Why can’t you see them?” He asked gently, his one eye narrowed in concern.

“They’d be so disappointed in me, I can’t do it” Blame it on the drink but tears were starting to swell in your eyes. You were trying to swallow the lump in your throat. This was something you had been avoiding for a reason. 

Kakashi’s hand came away from yours, tucking the bouquet under his arm as he placed both of his hands on your upper arms. He levelled with you, his eyes stared deeply into yours. 

“(Y/N), let me help you” Kakashi said in the most sincere way he could. “I promise they wouldn’t be disappointed in you”

“You don’t know that-“ Your voice was shaky, hard to speak when your bottom lip quivered. You averted your gaze quickly, feeling embarrassed your emotions were spilling all over the place. 

“I care about you and I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t think you could handle” Kakashi explained softly, “I’ll be right there with you. You trust me, right?”

You nodded in response, trying to hide your sniffling. Kakashi took your hand once more, holding tightly. Walking further down the path leading to the cemetery made your heart beat fast and Kakashi kept on high alert for every stumble you took.

Suddenly the cemetery came into view and your heart stopped. Swallowing hard, you started to feel panicked. You didn’t think you could do this. You really didn’t. It’s like Kakashi knew because he squeezed your hand and gave you a reassuring smile. He said he was going to be right there with you and he meant it. So you took a deep breath and slowly started guiding him towards the headstones where your parents rested. 

After you arrived and Kakashi laid down the bouquet between the two headstones, you asked him if he could give you a minute. He obliged and wandered off and you were left alone. You had sat down in front of their headstones, tears leaving your eyes as you looked at the state of them. They had been neglected and you were the only one to blame for it. Moss had grown like frames around your parents headstones and dirt was stuck inside the engravings. Feeling overwhelmed and dizzy from the alcohol slowly leaving your bloodstream, you had to lay down on the grass next to their graves. Your arm acting as a pillow for your head. 

You had apologised to them for not coming sooner. Telling them you were going okay, you were busy with missions and you were trying to cook proper food for once in your life. It was hard not to think of your mother looking down at you and shaking her head at your lack of cooking ability, you knew she always wanted you to eat well. You had told your father you would get around to reading one of his books, apologising for being unable to do so. At the end of the day you would stare at the books on your shelf with a glass of sake in your hand and think  _ ‘maybe tomorrow _ ’ but tomorrow never came. 

You weren’t sure if lying on top of the dirt your parents were buried in made you feel any closer to them. They felt so far away as the years went on. You hoped, wherever they were now, that they saw the good moments in your life. Saw you laughing with a friend, saw you enjoy the beauty of the lands you visited, saw you sigh and smile everytime you found gardenias on your doorstep. You didn’t want them to see the battles you fought, the foes you killed, the drunken nights where you could barely hold yourself together. Just like right now. 

“I hope you guys are happy and safe together. I know this isn’t the end and I guess I’ll be with you guys too one day. I just gotta keep going till that day” You said as you sniffled and cried. You missed them dearly but you hoped that day would be far away. There was still more life to live. 

“Oh, before I forget...” You said to yourself before you called out to your soulmate who was lurking somewhere in the distance. “Kakashi!”

Kakashi instantly made his way to you. You couldn’t see him but you could hear his footsteps on the grass as he approached.

“I’m not completely doomed. This is my soulmate, Kakashi.” You lightly chuckled through your tears, your finger pointed to Kakashi and then to your parents gravestones one by one. “Kakashi, this is my mother and father”

“It’s nice to meet you both” Kakashi said and you could hear his smile. “(Y/N), did you want help standing up?”

“No, I’m comfortable here” You muttered to him, your head buried in your arm. 

“I’m the first shinobi in my family, my parents were both civilians”

When your parents found out you could use chakra, they were so pleased. Though only civilians, they were proud of the village and the shinobi who served it. What better way to give back to the village they loved than to have a child who could use chakra, though they would have been just as happy if you couldn’t. It’s why making jonin was such an important goal for you, it’s what they wanted for you the moment you were accepted to the Academy. It was at least one thing you could give them, even though they weren’t around to see it. 

“My mother was a seamstress and she liked to make my clothes so they’d be unique. My father liked to read and he had these giant history books I always wanted to read but I just never got around to it” You said as you stared at their graves, thinking of the outfits your mother would make for you and the smell of your fathers study. 

“They sound like good people” Kakashi said, his tone was gentle. 

You could feel a light smile tug at the corner of your lips as you thought about them. “Yeah, they were” 

Finally you looked up to Kakashi who was already staring down at you. Concerned at the state you were in. You didn’t blame him. You were lying on the grass as if you were about to fall asleep, your eyes wet and cheeks red, alcohol still coursing through your bloodstream. 

“I’m ready to go” You said quietly, you had bothered them enough but silently you vowed to come back and give their headstones a proper clean they deserved.

Kakashi had helped you stand back on your feet, putting your arm around his neck and his arm came around your waist to support you. It was quiet as you walked back towards the village, you spent that time reflecting on your time with your parents. Even though it was hard, you were somewhat glad Kakashi took you to see them. Who knew how much longer you would have avoided it otherwise. The food pills were starting to kick in and you were feeling better but still drowsy. Crying and emotional vulnerability really sucked all the liveliness out of you. 

“I think I need to sleep this off” You mumbled as your head rested on Kakashi’s shoulder, allowing him to guide you as your eyes fluttered from open to shut. 

“I’ll take you to mine, it’s closer” Kakashi said, keeping a close eye on you so you didn’t fall completely asleep on the way there. 

When you got inside Kakashi’s place you immediately asked for more food pills and water. You definitely needed to get some of that in you before you slept the alcohol off. Kakashi immediately retrieved them for you and you slammed back the water like it was the first thing you had drunk in days. 

“Wow, I was right. This is where you hide your junk” 

You had stumbled into Kakashi’s room, looking around at the mess. Scrolls poked out of cabinets and drawers, his clothes sat in a hamper by the door. His desk was filled with papers and maps. Random shuriken and kunai lay around the place and on his windowsill next to his bed were three photo frames. 

“Wait, is that you and your squad?” You said as you made your way straight to the photos, picking one of the frames up and inspecting in closely. “You have that same expression on your face even now”

You could hear Kakashi huff behind you. He was untying your headband for you as you stared at the photo. Next came your vest, helping you shrug it off and placing it on top of his desk. 

“Just lie down” He instructed you, his hands landed on your waist and he guided you backwards to his bed. 

“Look, it’s us” You said as you broke free from his hold, quickly grabbing the frame and putting yourself into bed.

Kakashi climbed over you, getting into bed next to you after removing his own vest and headband. He pulled the covers over the two of you as you continued to stare at the photo, his arm around your waist as he held you close. Kakashi buried his face into your neck, one eye staring at the photo in your hands. 

“I didn’t realise you were looking at me all mushy” You giggled to yourself. 

Kakashi didn’t say anything, he hummed and you felt the vibrations hit your skin. Finally you placed the photo down on his bedside table, closing your eyes as you got yourself comfortable. 

“Thanks for taking me to them and for being there with me” You whispered as Kakashi left soft kisses on your neck, his fingers tracing circles on the skin of your torso. You felt yourself getting sleepier and sleepier, losing the fight against your droopy eyelids. 

“Thanks for letting me meet them” He replied softly. 

Suddenly the thought went through your head that now you’ve met each other’s parents, things were getting serious. You would have laughed if you weren’t so tired. 

“I’m sure they would have liked you” You mumbled before you fell asleep. 

When you woke it was dark out and you were amazed that Kakashi had fallen asleep right next to you. To say you felt terrible was an understatement, you just wanted to throw the covers over your head and go back to sleep. With Kakashi holding you close, you shuffled around a bit, letting out a little groan. 

Closing your eyes shut again, you felt Kakashi’s fingers stroke your skin once more and heard him let out a little yawn. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked sleepily, his face buried in your neck. 

Ever since that night you dragged him to yours, you found yourself enjoying having Kakashi in your bed. Not even sexually, it hadn’t escalated to that yet but it was having him hold you that made you enjoy it the most. It felt intimate and normal and you appreciated that Kakashi never escalated things. You had turned around to face him. Your foreheads touched as you lay side by side. 

“Like I’ve been trampled on by a horse” You said quietly, taking a deep breath. 

“Maybe you won’t overdo it next time”

“I wouldn’t count on it” You scoffed. This wasn’t your first time getting messy drunk and it certainly wouldn’t be your last either. 

It was quiet and you closed your eyes, thinking of falling back to sleep with Kakashi’s arm wrapped around your body and his fingers drawing on your back. 

“(Y/N)?” Kakashi said your name and you hummed in response, feeling too lazy to speak now. “I’m proud of you”

Your eyes opened and you saw Kakashi lightly smile at you. You moved closer to kiss him but then Kakashi turned his head away. 

“I think you might need to brush your teeth, you smell like a brewery” He joked, causing you to frown. 

“Kakashi” You groaned. “I can’t, I don’t have a toothbrush here”

“We’ll have to fix that won’t we?”

You thought about the implications of what he said. Wasn’t a toothbrush at the other person's place a significant marker in a relationship? You didn’t exactly know, you never had a toothbrush in any other place but your own home or in your pack. As your hand rested on Kakashi’s cheek, a small smile appeared on your lips. You supposed you would have to fix that. 


	12. breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I finally decided how I’m going to end this thing 🥴 this is kind of a two parter, the next chapter is on the same day as this one. Thanks everyone for reading and commenting and leaving kudos I really appreciate it ♥️♥️

A message from Kakashi appeared on your wrist when you woke. _Come over when you wake up._

You took your sweet time, laying around drinking coffee in your robe. You had written back to Kakashi with no reply so you had no choice but to be curious about what he was up to while you got yourself ready for the day. Slipping on your sandals and shoving your keys in your pocket, you left the house and ventured through the village to get to Kakashi’s place. 

When Kakashi opened his door, your eyes almost fell out of your head. He wasn’t wearing a mask, actually he wasn’t wearing anything at all. Well, except underwear but that left absolutely nothing to the imagination. 

He smiled when he opened his door. Giving you a quick kiss as he greeted you. You had stood frozen at the sight of him. “Good morning” 

He was definitely something to look at. His calves were muscular and defined and his thighs looked as hard as concrete. His arms were similar and his biceps bulged without him having to move a muscle. His torso and chest were toned too, it was hard not to get lost as you counted his abs over and over. A small white trail of hair led down to his-

“Morning” You said slightly panicked, your eyes immediately bounced from his lower body to his face. “What’s going on?”

“You hungry? I made breakfast” Kakashi said casually, as if he wasn’t pretty much naked in your presence.

“Cool…” You said as your eyes roamed his body once more, trying to be subtle. Your brain was empty and the only thing filling it was the image of his muscular arms and toned chest. 

Sitting down at his dining table, you watched as Kakashi messed around in his kitchen. Your eyes tried their hardest not to stray from his back, though his underwear was enticing. His backside had such a prominent curve, it would be considered impolite to stare. 

“Tea?” Kakashi offered as he held up a cup.

“Mhmm...” You hummed, trying to look anywhere except at him. Tapping your fingers erratically on the table.

What was this idiot planning anyway? What did he think he was doing? If he thought he could make your cheeks burn bright red even for a second then he was unfortunately correct. You tried desperately to cover it up, your hand cradling your cheek as your elbow rested on the table. If you just focused on your breathing maybe that would settle your heart rate and then you wouldn’t appear so flushed. 

It was hard to do that when he was walking towards you, holding a tray of food and a cup of green tea. You tried desperately not to stare at his black briefs that rode up his thighs and his rather sizable bulge that slightly jiggled from side to side but it was kind of hard not to when it was right there. 

“You’re not checking me out, are you (Y/N)?” Kakashi asked playfully, like he didn’t know what he was very well doing. “That would make _you_ a pervert wouldn’t it?”

“You wish I was checking you out” You scoffed, trying to play it off cool. He was obviously trying to bait you and to his credit it was working but he seriously didn’t need to know that. 

Kakashi set down the cup of tea in front of you on the table and your tray of food next to it. He leaned down as he did so. 

“I don’t need to wish” Kakashi said quietly, in a tone reserved just for the two of you even though you were the only two souls in the room. Smiling as he looked into your eyes and giving you a peck on the lips before he returned to the kitchen to grab his own tray. 

On the table in front of you sat miso soup, rice, tamagoyaki, and grilled salmon. It smelt heavenly and you laughed slightly as you realised that this was similar to what you had tried to cook Kakashi that night you tried to thank him for your laundry. You dug in, slurping down your miso soup before moving on to the rice and salmon. It tasted a lot better than when you had tried to cook it. 

“When are you going to put some clothes on?” You asked Kakashi as you held a chunk of fish in between your chopsticks. You tried to seem unfazed by it, keeping your eyes focused on your meal instead. 

“I already have some on” Kakashi said unbothered by his state of undress, chewing away on his food. 

You shook your head silently, choosing to eat your meal instead of saying the first silly comeback you could think of. His state of undress didn’t make you uncomfortable, not at all. It just made your mind wander to places it should never go and the more you thought about it, the more you’d be labelled a hypocrite for calling Kakashi a pervert in the first place. The fact that there was a table and multiple bowls and plates blocking your vision of his lower half and his torso helped considerably. 

Most of the time you neglected to eat breakfast. Yes, you knew it was the most important meal of the day, or so you heard. Most days you would just leave the house and get something on the way to wherever you were going so you appreciated it when Kakashi cooked for you. You guessed he appreciated being able to cook for someone again, he said something of similar sentiment a while ago when he made breakfast at yours. 

When you had finished you had gathered up the bowls and plates, stacking them on top of each other to make it easier to take it to the sink. “Thank you for breakfast, it was pretty good” You said, giving him a kiss on the cheek as you collected his dishes. 

“You’re more than welcome” Kakashi said with a smile.

Afterwards you sat on the couch, feeling absolutely stuffed. Kakashi lay his head on your lap and you ran your fingers through his hair while you got lost in thought. You weren’t exactly thinking about anything in particular, just passing thoughts about breakfast and the walk over to Kakashi’s and the bizarre dreams you had the night before.

“So what are we doing today?” Kakashi asked, his eyes closed, enjoying your touch. 

“I was thinking of trying to read one of pa’s books” You said, looking down at him. 

You had promised your father you would and you intended to make good on that promise. You made the first step by taking the book from the shelf and placing it on your coffee table, ready for you to dive in as soon as you felt up to it. No time like the present, right?

“Great, let’s go to yours then” Kakashi said as he sat up from the couch and went into his room leaving you no time to protest. All you could do was enjoy the view as he walked away. 

Kakashi did put some clothes on his body thankfully and you left with him to go back to yours. On the coffee table in your home sat _The Extensive History of Clans on Earth Volume One_. Kakashi kindly allowed you to lay on him as you read. It had taken you ten minutes of staring at it in your hands before you had the courage to open it. You supposed Kakashi’s little comments had helped speed up the process. 

With his book in one hand, Kakashi used his free hand to stroke your forehead as you read. It was quite soothing and you spent hours just laying on him trying to read, he never complained once about your body weight on top of his. You did manage to get through a decent amount in that time, rereading sentences and paragraphs when you found your mind wandering somewhere else. It was a solid effort, two whole chapters. 

“You know it would be much easier if we lived together, then we wouldn’t have to go back and forth from mine to yours” Kakashi had said out of the blue, his eyes never leaving the page of his book. 

“Woah there,” You shot right up,“first of all, you invited yourself around” 

Snapping your book shut, your back leaned on the couch. There was a small distance between you now. You hadn't really expected him to say something like that and you had no idea why he would. You had only just bought a toothbrush for his place a few weeks ago and that was a big step in itself. 

“Secondly, we don’t spend that much time together to warrant that” You chuckled nervously, in denial with yourself. 

Kakashi would go on missions for a week or two at a time but that meant he got an equal amount of recoup time. With your missions being lower grade you were out of the village on missions for three days the most. When you were both in the village it was inevitable that you’d find each other before the end of the day.

It was strange. sometimes you didn’t actively seek Kakashi out yet you always managed to end up with him. You’d be shopping or walking around the village and then suddenly you’d spot him on a rooftop or walking around the corner with his nose in a book. You didn’t even need to try and find him, he’d just be there. 

“Two nights ago you did your laundry at mine and then we came back here for dinner” Kakashi said, still concentrating on his book.

“And?”

It was laundry day so of course you were at his and since you were already together you might as well have dinner together too. You saw a recipe in a magazine at the bookstore while randomly walking around and you wanted to try it and Kakashi insisted he should supervise just in case you burnt the house down. That didn’t mean you should live together. 

“And the night before that we saw a movie and you slept at mine” He added. 

You had gotten back from a mission in the midafternoon and the movie ran super late so you just went back to Kakashi’s since it was closer. It was convenient, that’s all. 

“Okay, well…still...” 

“Last week we got ramen with Yamato and I slept here the night before you left for your mission…”

“I get it! I get it!” 

Okay so maybe you _had_ been spending a lot more time together recently but still that doesn’t mean you should just live together. How would it work anyway? Would you move into his or would he move into yours or would you get a new place entirely? You were starting to sweat over hypotheticals. 

“Hey, I’m just putting it out there,” Kakashi said, shrugging as if it wasn’t that big of a deal. 

“You know you should really stop relying on your pervert books to give you relationship milestone timelines” You joked, trying to make the situation lighter for your sake. Kakashi didn’t seem too bothered about bringing it up, it was just you making a big deal about it.

Kakashi smiled, closing his book and placing it in his lap as his head turned to you. You had a feeling he was about to try and wind you up.

“So you’re saying we’re in a relationship?” Kakashi grinned. There it was, another attempt at winding you up. 

“I’m saying we _have_ a relationship just like I have a relationship with Anko or Lady Hokage or Izumo”

Your relationship with Kakashi was unlike any relationship you ever had and that was mostly down to the fact he was your soulmate and no one else was or would ever be. You didn’t have that same pull with anyone else, that same attraction with anyone else. There was a slight elephant in the room when it came to the relationship. You wondered when Kakashi would finally sit you down and ask you to be his completely, sometimes you wondered if you would ever be brave enough to ask him first. The working it out stage had dragged on for far too long but deep down you still were working it out in your own mind. Some days you would happily be his, some days the mere thought of it made you want to run far away from your own mind. You were still scared. What ifs were always dangerous things to indulge and you wondered what if you said you were ready and then the next thing he wanted was marriage, five kids, and twelve dogs. Then what would you do? 

“I would certainly hope they aren't holding you tightly at night or kissing you like I am” 

Rolling your eyes, you scoffed as Kakashi left small kisses on your neck. Someone seemed a little possessive. You turned to him and he smiled, waiting for whatever snarky comeback you had brewed in your head but it never came. 

Instead you gave him a peck on the lips before you stood from the couch. Kakashi watched as you walked towards your hallway and lingered in the doorway for a moment. 

“I think...I’m going to get ready to go to the bar, you’ll let yourself out?” You said, receiving a simple nod in reply. 


	13. a familiar face

The bar was crowded when you got in but it didn’t stop you from immediately spotting familiar brown spikes of hair and a tan jacket sitting at a table against the back wall. Your body moved on its own, squeezing and swerving in between the crowd without apology as you made your way to the table. Slamming your hands down on the wooden chair when you finally reached her. 

“I am certainly glad to see you” You smiled wide at the sight of Anko. 

“Next rounds on you,” She said as she leaned back in her chair, “we’re going to need two sakes”

Not even one night back in the village and she was already set to get absolutely smashed? Well, who could blame her, especially after being away for so long. Still one of your eyebrows rose as you let out a laugh. “Two? You’re really going to go that hard tonight?”

Anko rolled her eyes and smiled. “They’re not both for me dummy”

Well you best friend was back in the village and if the lady wanted two sakes, she was gonna get it. You made your way to the bar, squeezing in between those surrounding it. Perks of being a regular were that you were served first and in no time at all you made your way back to Anko, three drinks in hand. 

“So this mission, what happened?” You asked as soon as you sat down, sliding a glass towards her. 

“I was investigating an abandoned safehouse, one of Orochimaru’s old places. The rest is classified I’m afraid” Anko said, sipping her drink. 

It felt so good sitting across from her again. It had been so long and so much had happened that you had wanted to talk to her about. Days where you yearned for a simple brunch and harmless teasing. She was back now and hopefully for a while so you could get back to what you two were best at. Drinking and laughing at others. 

“Well that’s certainly sounds more exciting than what I’ve been doing”

You were doing every odd job the Hokage could slot you into recently. Random escorting jobs which had zero danger involved, filling in for random jonin-leaders squads who were occupied with their own missions, the occasional missing pet. It was so frustrating, you desperately wanted to get out there again and get into a fight. Show off your jutsu instead of climbing up a tree to collect a stray cat. You were being a good sport about it, taking one for the team and all but still you yearned desperately for something more. 

“One last thing...” Anko said, leaning in towards you. Building anticipation as she looked into your eyes and smiled. “I happened to meet my soulmate...”

You almost stood from your chair, that’s how shocked you were. Anko actually had a soulmate? The years you two had spent in this bar laughing and shrugging it off and now she found her person too. As her friend, you were nothing but happy for her. 

“What?” You gasped, hands covering your mouth. “No way, really?”

“It’s not romantic. It’s a completely platonic connection” Anko explained.

You set your drink down, staring at it for a moment as you thought hard. 

“Platonic?” You said, it wasn’t exactly directed at her but was something that just slipped out. Either way, Anko was going to answer you. 

“You  _ can _ have platonic soulmates, (Y/N). Where have you been?” She chuckled.

After you gave up on hearing back from your soulmate, you completely gave up on the idea of soulmates too. You would put down a book or even leave the movie theatres if there was even a whiff of soulmates. Put it down to being bitter and hurt. When you were young, all you ever heard about were romantic connections, never platonic. It was something you needed to wrap your head around. 

“What did I miss?” A voice said, slipping into the seat next to you.

You jumped in your seat. The last person you had expected to slide into the seat next to you was your soulmate. “Oh, geez. I didn’t know you were here”

How long had he been here for? Did he get to hang out with Anko before you did? 

“You didn’t tell them?” Kakashi asked Anko who just laughed wickedly.

“Nah, I thought it would be a nice surprise” She smirked as she slid the glass by her side towards him. Now everything was making sense.

While you and Anko caught up, Kakashi leaned back and sipped his sake quietly. Anko told you all about her travels and the villages she had seen. She had been in the Land of Keys to talk to an old master of espionage. In the Land of Honey she drank a paycheck worth of honey wine at a fancy bathhouse. In the Land of Flowers she almost won the deed to a teahouse in a card game but thought it would be too harsh to take away the old man’s livelihood. It all sounded thrilling and you couldn’t help but feel slightly envious of her travels. In turn you had told her all about the random escort missions you had been on and the gossip she missed around the village. Genma got in trouble with a girl he was briefly seeing because he got too drunk and went home with her twin, unknown to him she even had a twin. Kotetsu and Izumo were caught getting hot and heavy when they should have been on duty so they’ve been temporarily suspended from doing their guard duty together until further notice. Iwashi said he would stick his head between the Hokage’s breasts one night when he was drinking, not realising she was right behind him and got the most severe beatdown you had ever seen. All in all, it was business as usual in the village. 

But there was a matter pressing on your mind, one you needed to discuss with Anko without Kakashi’s presence. 

“I hope you didn’t forget your wallet because next rounds on you” You leaned in close to Kakashi, trying to subtly nudge him to get another round. 

Kakashi rolled his eyes and tapped his vest pocket. “I have my wallet, thank you” 

You watched as Kakashi left the table to approach the bar, drumming your fingers quickly on the tabletop as you waited for him to reach it. Finally he was at a safe distance and your head snapped to Anko.

“Anko, you said platonic...” You said to her, slightly panicked. “Does that mean you can just be friends with your soulmate?”

“Yes?” Anko said with one eyebrow raised, unsure why you were so insistent on asking about it. “Why are you worried about that? Arent you and Kakashi platonic too?”

You hid a nervous smile in your glass. You guessed she was yet to hear about your hand holding around the village. You’d have to tell her eventually but not tonight, you’d never hear the end of it. 

“Unless…(Y/N), are you like...in love with him or something?” Anko teased, seeing right through your nervous smile. 

“What? No!” You denied, sitting up in your chair. “It’s just…I didn’t realise they could be that way”

It made you wonder if your connection with Kakashi could have been platonic instead of romantic after all. There didn’t need to be that pressure to work it all out, you could have just been friends. You wondered if Kakashi knew that soulmates could be platonic. He probably did, Kakashi knew everything. That just made you wonder why he was set on having the connection between you become romantic. Either way it was too late, there was no going back once his lips crashed onto yours. You were already hooked.

“Are you serious right now? You didn’t know that?” Anko slammed her hand down on the table in complete disbelief at your ignorance.

“Know what?” You heard the voice of Kakashi say behind you, he placed a drink in front of you. 

Immediately you took a sharp breath, trying to think on your feet quickly before Anko could get a word in. “That snakes could be so...massive” You said, internally cringing at your silly improvisation.

Kakashi didn’t seem fazed, his eyebrow shrugged for a moment before he sat down and the conversation picked up where it had left off before you had nudged him to get another round. Kakashi spoke briefly about a mission he had been apart of many years ago while in the Anbu, casually placing his hand on your thigh as he spoke. Your eyes widened as you sipped your drink and you noticed the little smile on Anko’s lips as she restrained herself from commenting on it.

“Enough about missions for a minute” Anko said as she took a sip from her glass, “I wanna know what's been going on with you two…”

“I mean there’s nothing  _ that _ interesting going on-“ You said casually, shaking off the idea that it was something to discuss only for Kakashi to interrupt you. 

“I wouldn’t say that” Kakashi’s head turned to you, smiling at you with his eye.

“Have you guys boned yet?” Anko asked, her head propped up by her hand as she looked at the two of you. Her tone made you feel like she was asking if you had seen a popular movie yet, not if you had been intimate with the person right next to you. 

Your eyes widened at the question and Kakashi’s grip on your thigh tightened in reaction. He was probably just as mortified as you were. 

“Anko!” You yelled, your cheeks turned bright red. Anko was saying something about how she just wanted to know but you couldn’t hear her over your internal screaming. If only you knew the hand signs to send you plummeting deep underground. 

“Kakashi!” A familiar voice said, drawing the table's attention away from Anko’s invasive question. Thank god for that.

The person in question standing at your table was none other than Maito Gai in his usual green jumpsuit and flak vest. 

“Anko, always glad to see a fellow comrade returning back to the village safe and sound” he said with a thumbs up and a wide smile. 

“And (Y/N)...my eternal rival’s soulmate. Let me tell you Kakashi you’ve got yourself a fighter, no doubt about it. Their perseverance is out of this world” Gai had said with his hand on his hips. His signature thumbs up in your direction, a high compliment for sure but still you wondered what was going to come out of his mouth next. “They puked up fifty eight balls of dango and still tried to squeeze one more sit up in there, the true spirit of youth!”

After you puked up that dango, you rolled over onto your back and let out a little curse aimed at any divine power listening. Then you tried to sit up to stand up but you were too exhausted from the extreme exercise mixed with puking. The fact that Gai thought you were trying to get one more sit up in was laughable and you were happy to let him run with it. Then you remembered where you were after Anko started laughing uncontrollably. 

“You what?” She asked you, her hands over her mouth unable to stop the sounds coming from her mouth. 

“Oh, god. It’s nothing” You tried to dismiss it. It was bad enough Kakashi knew but now Anko too?

You didn’t want to make eye contact with anyone at the table. You had accepted Kakashi would find out about it eventually and he would probably tease you about it and let it go but Anko was not one to let things go so easily. You were sure you’d be hearing about it on your deathbed. 

“Thanks Gai” You sighed, your head rested in your hand, accepting the fact you’ll probably be embarrassed for the rest of the night and just maybe the rest of your life too.

“No problem at all!” Gai said with a sparkle in his eye, not realising how mortified you truly were. 

Despite that, it was good for Gai to chat for a bit. It meant Anko couldn’t ask anymore invasive questions and for a second you could finally relax and listen to Gai’s tales instead. Kakashi excused himself to the bathroom a while ago and you weren’t too sure what was taking him so long. No one else had noticed as the table started collecting more shinobi. The usual merge of subgroups. 

As Raidō did a dramatic reenactment of the last battle he participated in, your eyes glanced down to your wrist. Black letters on your skin poked out from behind your sleeve. 

_ Did you want to get out of here? _

You laughed to yourself at the idea of Kakashi trying to squeeze out the tiny window in the bathroom, trying to escape the crowd without being seen. A truly stealthy shinobi. Taking a pen out of your pocket, you clicked the top down and started to scribble on your reply. 

_ Sure. _

You had enough public humiliation for the day. As Raidō was getting to the good bit of his story, all eyes were on him and that allowed you to slip away from the table, weaving between the crowd as you made your escape. You’d probably have Anko complain about you ditching her on her first night back but after her little comment you were well in your rights to ditch her. Then again what were best friends good for if they didn’t embarrass you, her time would come and it would be you doing the embarrassing instead.

Kakashi was already outside of the bar when you closed the door behind you and lightly jogged down the steps. The cool air hit your face and you embraced it. A nice change from inside the stuffy bar. Without a word you began to walk alongside him. Kakashi had his hands stuffed in his pocket and you weren’t too sure what he wanted to do now but you’d follow him anyway. 

As you walked, your mind flooded with thoughts about platonic soulmates. You almost wanted to ask Kakashi his thoughts about it and why he wanted a romantic connection with you from the start but you felt your throat close the moment you thought you were brave enough to ask. Instead you kept silent, head straight, enjoying the quiet and dimly lit streets.

When you turned to look at Kakashi, he was already staring at you. You had checked behind yourself to make sure there was nothing of note that he could be staring at but nope, nothing. His eyes were truly on you. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked, wishing you could dive into his brain and dissect every little thought he ever had. 

Kakashi shrugged, slightly smiling as he did so. “I was just thinking that you look beautiful in the moonlight”

You had been wondering when he was going to start the sweet talking. At least he wasn’t teasing you about the dango. Still, that was terrible and you scoffed at such a cheesy line. “Where did you steal that line from?”

“Can’t I compliment my soulmate on this beautiful night?” Kakashi asked. 

“You know, you’ve been inserting yourself into all of my plans today. What’s up with that?”

It was just a playful comment. You didn’t actually care that you had spent the majority of your day with him. It was a surprise to see him at the bar, you were sure he intended it to be, but it wasn’t bad that he came. In fact it was nice having him by your side even if Anko tried to stick her nose into your private business or Gai exposing one of your embarrassing moments. 

“I’m leaving for a mission in the next couple of days, wanted to spend some time with you before I left”

With one eyebrow raised, you wondered why he didn’t just tell you that sooner. He always told you straight away when he was going away on a mission. It’s not a big deal or anything. 

“Oh yeah? How long are you going to be away?”

“Two months” 

You felt your chest tighten, your breath hitched. “Oh…”

Two months was a long time. Anko had just been away for two months and that felt like the longest two months of your life. As much as you didn’t like to admit it, you and Kakashi had been spending a lot of time together recently. You’d probably end up missing him more than you’d like. 

“That’s a long time...” You said softly, trying to hide your feelings. 

“Yeah, I’ll be collecting intel for an upcoming Anbu mission but sadly that’s all I can say” 

Kakashi must have noticed your demeanor shift even if you tried to hide it from him. His hand came out from his pocket and slid into yours. Giving your hand a squeeze in an attempt to comfort you. 

“You know, I was wondering… when you puked up all that dango…” He said playfully, your head whipped to him instantly. Your face stern as you waited for him to finish his sentence. “...was it colourful?”

Frowning as you slapped his arm gently, you huffed. There he was, trying to wind you up again. “Why don’t you try it for yourself?”

Kakashi took you home and you didn’t mind that your night was cut short. Maybe you’d curl up in bed with your pa’s book and get a good night's sleep. It had been a couple of days since your last mission and it was inevitable the Hokage would call you up and assign you one in the next coming days. Surprisingly Kakashi didn’t come in, he lingered at your front door. Gently his hands came down on your hips, pulling you closer to him. 

“Don’t miss me too badly while I’m gone”  His nose brushed up against your cheek and you closed your eyes, embracing his touch. 

“I’m sure you’ll be in touch”

He was bound to send you dumb reminders about drinking water or brushing your teeth, cheesy lines from his books, sarcastic replies to your reminders written for yourself. In fact you expected nothing less from him. 

Kakashi kissed your lips, his mask pulled under his chin. You found yourself clinging onto the sensation a little longer than expected. Who knew when you would be able to do this again.

“Don’t break your arm again either or I’ll miss you” Kakashi said when he pulled away from you.

“I wasn’t planning on it” You laughed slightly, accepting the kiss he placed on your forehead before he let you go.

You watched as he climbed up on the railing, ready to disappear in a cloud of smoke. He’d probably be preparing for the mission in the next few days, it was a long one so he’d need all the time he could get and you figured this would be the last time you saw him for a while.

“Kakashi?” You called for him, leaning in your doorway. He turned his head to you, about to leave. “Be safe out there. Don’t die, you know...the usual”

Kakashi nodded, smiling at you as he gave you a two finger wave goodbye. Then just like that he was gone, a thick cloud of smoke left in his place. 

After slipping your sandals off at the door, you lay back on your couch. Staring up at the ceiling as you thought hard. Two months was a long time, waiting around the village for him to get back was going to feel like an eternity. Quickly you tried to assure yourself. It would be okay, you’d find ways to keep yourself busy and then he’d be back to bugging you in no time. No matter what, you just hoped he’d be safe and that you wouldn’t miss him too much even though you knew deep down you would. 


	14. two months of notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay it’s a long chapter so buckle up! This chapter I wanted to try something different and highlight the notes part of their connection. I hope y’all enjoy ♥️

_ Tell me about your day  _

You were lying on your couch staring at the ceiling when you noticed the black ink form on your wrist. Kakashi had been gone for almost a week now and he wrote to you when he could.

Your day had been spent cleaning your house and dragging a sack of laundry to the laundromat. Sitting there patiently as you watched the machine spin your clothes around and around until the timer was up. You could have easily broken into Kakashi’s but it didn’t feel right while he was away. 

A pen sat on your coffee table next to one of your father’s books, half read and laid open. You leaned over, just reaching the pen. Clicking it down, you scribbled your reply. 

_ It wasn’t anything special _

* * *

_ I finally finished the book _

Kakashi sat alone on a branch high up in the trees, spying on some random bandit camp his group had come across on their journeys. He had been monitoring them for a while now. Wondering if he should act or just leave them be, though he may regret it later.

His eyes glanced back to his book, noticing the ink on his arm peeking out under his sleeve. So they finally finished that book, the one they had always hesitated to pick up. Kakashi was proud of them and he smiled lightly to himself as he closed his book and took out a pen. 

_ What did you think? _

Nothing exciting was happening below, Kakashi took another peek with his sharingan eye before placing his headband back over it. Then he glanced at his hand, awaiting his soulmate's reply.

_ A little boring but I liked it _

* * *

Kakashi hung back from the group as they walked along the dirt path in the forest. They’d be finding a place to make camp soon but Kakashi would be on the first watch when night comes. Not that he mind, Yamato had done the first watch the night before. 

“You okay back there?” Yamato called out to him.

Kakashi had just hummed in reply, turning a page of his book when the note appeared on his wrist. 

_ Pick up machine _

They finally managed to save up enough money to buy themselves a new washing machine. Kakashi wasn’t surprised it took them this long, they had been dipping into their savings recently. He placed his book in his breast pocket of his vest, trading it for a pen.

_ Does this mean you’re not doing laundry at mine anymore? That’s a shame _

Washing day was always a good excuse for his soulmate to come over and spend their day with him. They still hadn’t learnt how his machine worked and he’d always put it on the longest setting just to spend some extra time with them. 

Well, he supposed it had to happen sometime. Maybe he could snap the tube on his and use their washing machine instead.

_ It is a shame. It really is all that you’re good for. _

Kakashi scoffed to himself, rolling his eyes as he retrieved his book from his pocket. Ignoring Yamato’s slightly concerned expression as they continued to walk through the forest. 

* * *

You were coming back from the Hokage’s office, fulfilling a late night last minute mission request. Walking up the stairs to your house, you stopped once you reached the top. Leaning on the railing, you looked up to the sky.

It had been around two weeks since Kakashi left on his mission and he had been slightly quiet for the past couple of days. You knew he would be okay, he always was yet there was always this slight worry you felt when he was out there. You tried to focus on the stars above, spotting the constellations of Leo and Gemini. 

Your eyes glanced at your wrist, seeing familiar black markings not left by yourself.

_ I’m looking at the stars tonight and thinking of you _

You let out a quiet laugh as you read it. He must have had the same idea as you did. A part of you wondered if he was staring at the same constellations you were, wherever he was. 

_ Don’t get all mushy on me. _

Tapping the pen against the railing, you stared at your wrist as you waited for a reply. The cool breeze blew on your skin and you tried to shake off the chills. When you received it almost a minute or two later, you rolled your eyes. 

_ Just say you miss me already _

* * *

_ I’m on a mission again. C Grade escort but at least it’s something _

Kakashi looked down at his wrist quickly, already lagging behind the group much to Yamato’s annoyance. He was glad they were on a mission but he felt slightly worried too.

It was always a relief when he knew they were back in the village. If anything happened at least he was assured they would be safe. It was slightly selfish and he knew they could handle themselves just fine but it didn’t stop him from worrying.

As he finished writing his note, Yamato had come up to him, prompting him to get a move on. 

_ Stay safe please _

* * *

You were exhausted the moment you got through the gates, relieved to finally be home. The escort mission was nothing but dull but it was over at the very least. 

Focused on reporting to the Hokage and getting home to rest, you didn’t think to look at your arm. Only doing so when you left her office.

_ Yamato is wondering when we’re going to become official _

Yamato? Was he really going to bring poor Yamato into this? That just wouldn’t do. You had dumped your pack by the front door, retrieving the pen from your vest pocket.

_ Are you sure it’s not just you wondering that? _

You had scribbled your note as you walked through your house, desperate to hop into the shower and wash off three days of hard work. You lingered by the shower door as you waited for a response. It would be a shame to wash it off  before he could receive it. 

_ What can I say? Yamato is a fan of yours. _

Yeah right. Rolling your eyes, you stepped into the warm shower. While you massaged shampoo into your hair you thought about it. It was a good question. When. With him gone for so long the only answer you could come up with for now was maybe soon. 

* * *

_ Cabbage, tomato, rice, pork _

Kakashi slightly smiled when he saw their shopping list written messily on his hand. 

_ You’re not cooking again are you? _

He wrote back, sure that would get him a response quickly. A part of him wished he could be with them, helping them out. Kakashi missed their kitchen and the way they gently frowned as they concentrated hard on not screwing everything up. He missed how they would tug his apron strings tight when they would tie them up for him and the look on their face after taking the first bite of something they made together.

_ Well you’re not here to stop me _

At least they were trying to do it on their own without his prompting to do so.

_ If you burn down half of Konoha that’s on you. _

His thoughts immediately went to the time they had planned to make dinner for him. Seeing them huddled in a corner with a bottle around their lips, the room filled with white smoke as they tried not to cry about their failure. At the time Kakashi hadn’t seen their failed attempt as pathetic or pitiful, more endearing than anything else. That day Kakashi managed to peel back a layer of their rough exterior.

_ No I think it would be on my teacher, don’t you agree? _

Kakashi let out a laugh. Touché.

* * *

_ I was thinking about your lips earlier... _

You hadn’t known how long it had been on your skin for but you noticed it when you were walking around the village, spotting the marks in the corner of your eye. It was hard not to smirk at it or blush. Definitely one of the notes you’d pull your sleeve over.

_ Are you trying to stain my skin with your smut? _

After a few minutes of waiting for an answer, you pulled your sleeve down and continued to walk to Ichiraku. Anko was shouting you and Genma ramen and you weren’t going to turn it down.

Half an hour had passed by. Anko was talking about her soulmate who worked in a small village bordering on the Hidden Grass, she was planning on visiting her when she could get some time off. Genma tried his best to tease her only to get a swift slap around the head. With all the talk of soulmates, you suddenly remembered your own. 

Pulling down your sleeve, you made sure no one else could read it. Almost choking on the noodles you had just slurped down when you did.

_ Absolutely _

* * *

_ Are you tired? _

It was four in the afternoon and you were lying on your couch with one of your father’s books on your chest. You were on your second recoup day so of course you weren’t tired.

_ No? _

You replied, setting your pen down in the middle of the open book. Curious as to why he would even ask that in the first place. It was the first time you had heard from him all day. 

_ You must be after running through my mind all day _

If you could have thrown your arm away, you would have. His cheesy line would stain your skin until he washed it off and with him out in the wilderness, who knew when that would be. 

Rolling your eyes, a smirk on your lips, you picked up your pen. Ready to inform him how unimpressed you were. 

_ How long did it take you to come up with that one? _

* * *

Kakashi was on first watch. The sun had gone down around an hour ago and he was in the trees keeping an eye on the camp's surroundings. Listening out for the smallest rustle in the bushes, looking for any suspicious figures in the shadows. Despite the potential for lurking danger, his nose was in _Make-Out Paradise._

_ It feels strange not having you around. _

He smiled when he saw it, his finger gently rubbed the marks on his skin. They missed him even if they were reluctant to say it. They didn’t need to say it because he already knew, something inside him told him so. 

Still it was always fun to poke the bear, even just a little. 

_ Sounds like you miss me... _

With nothing better to do, Kakashi stared at his wrist and waited for the marks to appear on his skin. The moon's light shone down on his wrist making it easier for him to see. It took them a while to reply but not too long. Maybe ten minutes or so. 

_ Actually it’s quite peaceful _

Kakashi laughed even if it was for a few seconds. He expected nothing less. 

* * *

_ Don’t forget to eat something  _

You rolled your eyes when you saw it, already chewing on the onigiri that you held in your hand. It was midmorning and you were thinking of going clothes shopping, your wardrobe was starting to get a little old despite the fact you barely wore your civilian clothes. 

_ I don’t need a reminder to eat _

Chewing your last bite, you flung open the door to the clothing store. Ready to spend hours being unnecessarily picky over garments, even as the years went by nothing beat the clothes your mother would make for you. You looked at your wrist, reading the reply.

_ Are you sure about that?  _

* * *

_ After weeks of suffering I finally have a decent mission. _

Kakashi had kept his nose in his book while he walked around the streets of Ebi Village. Yamato was by his side being diligent in his scan for potential threats, though this village hadn’t exactly presented any so far. 

_ What’s that? _

“You writing to (Y/N)?” Yamato had asked, noticing the pen gliding across Kakashi’s wrist. 

Kakashi nodded as he waited for a response. Who else would he be writing to? When he glanced at Yamato, he saw his smile. Yamato never let up teasing Kakashi about his soulmate and deep down Kakashi thought that maybe it was because Yamato grew up just as lonely as he did. Perhaps he was living vicariously through him.

“Are they alright?” Yamato asked, trying to take a peek at Kakashi’s wrist. 

_ Sorting out a bandit problem in the country. _

“I hope they’ll be” Kakashi answered as he read the note on his skin.

* * *

_ (Y/N) are you okay? _

You were having a real tough time right now. Your team had split up to cover more ground and you managed to run into some unfriendlies. As you swung a fist at the enemy's head, you hoped your team weren’t facing similar circumstances. 

This guy was stubborn, dodging your hit with ease. This was just getting tedious, the other two guys went down so easy. Grabbing the kunai strapped to your side, you spotted another note from Kakashi on your wrist.

_ If you don’t reply, I’ll send Pakkun after you _

_ ‘Not now, Kakashi! _ ’ You thought as you threw the kunai at your opponent, catching him off guard. You were kind of busy right now.

It was time to wrap this up, quite frankly you had had enough. Last thing you needed was some small dog sent by Kakashi sniffing around so it was time to release the water chains. You spat the water you swished around in your mouth, infusing your chakra with it as it came out in a steady stream, forming into one solid chain of water. You swung it at your enemy, the chain wrapped itself around his ankles and tripped him over.

Without a thought you plunged your kunai into the guy, retrieving the one that landed in his thigh earlier. Regaining your breath, you stared down at the body. At least that was over. 

_ I’m fine I was just a little preoccupied. _

Kakashi had replied straight away and you wondered if he was staring at his wrist awaiting your reply eagerly. He did tend to write to you more often when he knew you were out on a mission. Such a worry wart. 

_ Not by someone trying to steal you away from me I hope  _

You laughed slightly as you walked away from the clearing. Technically he was trying to steal you away, just not in the way Kakashi would have thought.

It was time to link up with your team, you were slightly worried that they might need your help so you took to the trees. Before you began to leap from branch to branch, you quickly scribbled your note. 

_ He’s not my type  _

* * *

_ These missions tend to drag on _

You were lying in bed when you saw it, your fingers grazed along the marks. It had been awhile since he shared your bed.

_ It has been over a month, of course it drags on. _

* * *

As the night dragged on, Yamato came to replace Kakashi on watch. Jumping down from the trees, he settled down on his futon and stared up at the stars. He didn’t know if he’d get any rest tonight, feeling somewhat unsettled from being out in the open. He had tried to tell Yamato that but Yamato wasn’t hearing any of it and insisted his senpai needed the rest. 

His hand hovered above his face, spotting the dark marks on his skin. The characters were messily scribbled and Kakashi needed to look a little closer to decipher them.

_ Lost bet with anko  _

Kakashi wondered what the bet was. Before their status of soulmates had been revealed, Kakashi used to watch their friendly competitions all the time. It had amused him slightly watching (Y/N) trying to down six shots of hard liquor in six seconds. Surprisingly they managed to do it more times than they couldn’t.

_ I miss you _

The moment he read it, he knew they were drunk. The characters were barely recognisable yet if he could have any of the words they had written to him marked on his skin forever, it would be those ones. 

_ I miss you too. _

He had scribbled underneath it quickly, hoping to catch them before they could forget all about it. 

_ Please eat some food pills and get home safely. _

* * *

You had gone to change out of your shinobi gear when you saw black ink on your thigh. Frowning as you inspected it closer, you first tried to rub it off your skin.

_ Surprise! _

Immediately you grabbed a pen and took to your wrist.

_ You haven’t hidden any more notes anywhere else have you?  _

It took Kakashi a while to reply so you had kept yourself busy by giving your bathroom a good clean. By the time you had scrubbed the bathtub and washed away the suds, you had an answer.

_ Maybe… _

God, he hadn’t started some weird treasure hunt had he? You began inspecting your skin, taking the time to inspect each limb for mysterious black markings. On your other arm was a dark dot near your elbow but when you looked closer you realised it was just a beauty spot. 

_ It’s a shame I’m not there, I could have checked for you. _

Pervert. He’d love that, wouldn’t he?

* * *

_ I can’t believe you’re going to miss Christmas _

Kakashi never celebrated the day, he didn’t have anyone to celebrate it with so he had a habit of accepting missions that coincided with the day. He guessed he had someone to celebrate it with now and he wondered if (Y/N) felt the way he did about it. This also led him to wonder what a Christmas Day would look like with his soulmate. 

Maybe they’d lie in bed all morning, not wanting to trade a warm bed for a cold living room. Maybe they’d lie around and drink coffee, make breakfast together. They’d probably give him a gift he’d love and they’d brush it off as not a big deal. It sounded nice.

_ Did you get me anything? _

Kakashi was just poking fun, he didn’t actually expect them to get him anything. Though he did want to get them something, something good to make up for missing it. At least he had time during his travels to brainstorm gift ideas for them.

_ Wouldn’t you like to know. _

Using one of his lines against him, huh? He really was rubbing off on them.

* * *

_ I finished another one of pa’s books. _

Kakashi was undercover at an event where the target would be. This was one of the most important parts of his mission; he’d be able to gather the information he really needed to hand over to the Anbu. Yamato was hovering by his side, both of them dressed nicely as they looked around the room. Still, he had some time to reply to his soulmate. This event was quite boring. 

_ That’s great. How was it? _

They had always said they didn’t read much so Kakashi was happy they were trying. He was looking forward to actually discussing their thoughts in depth when he got back. Maybe he’d be able to convince them to read  _ Make-Out Paradise, _ after all they did write out that entire draft just for him. 

_ It was about famous bridges. _

That’s all he needed to know. It didn’t sound exactly like the most riveting read.

“Targets on the move, senpai” Yamato muttered in his direction.

Kakashi frowned at the nickname but still took notice of the target walking to the bar, leaning on the bartop and looking around as his drink was being made. They needed to move closer so Kakashi quickly scribbled his reply, hoping to pick up the conversation as soon as he got back to his room for the night.

_ I see _

* * *

As the odd job shinobi you had finally accepted you were, you were helping a farmer mend a couple of his fences after his herd had broken through and run off. It was a hot day in the Land of Fire and you found yourself wiping sweat from your brow with your forearm.

There you saw the note Kakashi left for you. 

_ Finally managed to sneak away to a bathhouse _

While you were sweating your ass off, he was living it up. You couldn’t help but be envious that he was relaxing in a hot pool somewhere while you were melting in the heat. 

_ Lucky for some. _

You had jobs to do and waiting for a reply from Kakashi was not one of them so you picked up a board of wood and got back to it. When you finally weren’t too preoccupied to check, the reply was sitting there on your skin waiting to be read. 

_ Just don’t tell Yamato _

Laughing to yourself, you’d remember to bring that up the next time he annoyed you too much. 

* * *

_ Merry Christmas soulmate _

It was Christmas morning and you were lounging around in your robe drinking coffee. In the afternoon you’d go to Anko’s for Christmas drinks, the two of you were alone like most years. The sleeve of your robe shifted and you saw Kakashi’s message, smiling faintly at it.

_ Merry Christmas Kakashi _

You wondered how he was going to spend the day. Was he just out there wandering around in a forest somewhere? Was he going to stay in camp for the day? Was he eating something other than food pills? 

Glancing at the present on your coffee table, you wondered if Kakashi got you anything. You had gotten something for Kakashi and Anko. Your Christmas gifts to the others would be a drink at the bar on you. 

_ I’m sorry I can’t be under the mistletoe with you this year. _

All you could hold onto was the fact he’d be home in less than two weeks. Two weeks wasn’t too long to wait, it would be like he had just gone away on a normal mission.

_ You have a lot to make up for. _

As you tapped the pen against your arm, you thought maybe next year you’d be able to spend it together. 

* * *

_ You need to get back soon. Gai just found me and challenged me to an eating contest. _

Kakashi almost burst into laughter but he held it in the best he could. Yamato could tell something was up and all Kakashi could do was show him his wrist, something Kakashi rarely did. 

_ And did you defend my honour?  _

It took an hour for them to respond, he had hoped for their sake Gai hadn’t managed to rope them into any more challenges. God forbid they puked up whatever they managed to shove down their throat like last time. 

_ 6 and a half bowls of ramen down before Gai tapped out. I'm gonna sleep this off now. _

Gai was a tough man. He could climb a cliff with his eyes closed, he could stay awake for forty eight hours straight but he couldn’t win an eating completion to save his life and that was all down to his weak stomach. 

* * *

_ I haven’t seen you since last year! _

A minute past twelve and the fireworks were still going off. You were outside the bar with everyone else who had managed to make it to the new year without passing out. As you all watched the display, you were rubbing your wrist unknowingly. When you caught yourself, you looked down at it to make sure you hadn’t rubbed your skin raw. On your wrist was Kakashi’s lame joke, you just rolled your eyes and snickered amongst the chaos around you. 

_ Very funny _

Beside you Anko was hooting and hollering, waving her bottle in the air as the fireworks went off in the sky. She barely noticed you just staring at the colourful explosions quietly. You wished he was here next to you, holding your hand and saying something about how the fireworks were just as beautiful as you or something as equally cheesy. 

_ Happy new year soulmate _

You tried to laugh it off when Anko grabbed your face and gave you rough kisses on each of your cheeks. In drunken Anko fashion, she wandered off to hug random strangers and you were left with a pen in your hand aimed at your wrist.

_ Happy new year soulmate _

* * *

Kakashi was due home in a couple of days. He had told you a few hours ago that he made it past the border from the Land of Wind back into the Land of Fire. The fact he was back in the country made you feel relieved, he was so close and in two days he’d be by your side again.

You were nursing a glass of sake, staring at the wrapped Christmas present that Kakashi was overdue to receive. It wasn’t as magnificent as the other gifts, just a simple robe. You figured if he decided to roam around the house in his underwear again then he’d have no excuse to not cover up. It was navy blue and silky, you had rummaged through his drawers to get his sizing when you had stayed over one morning while he was occupied making you coffee.

Glancing at your wrist, you saw black ink appear on your skin. Kakashi must have just written this.

_ I think someone’s left a gift on your doorstep. _

Your eyebrow raised. He said he just crossed the border so how could he know if there was something at your doorstep. Not unless he got one of the hounds to leave something in his place. You rushed to your front door, flinging it open only for your jaw to drop.

“Kakashi?” You gasped, immediately your arms wrapped around him.

Maybe it was a shadow clone but when you sunk into him, feeling that familiar warmth and smelling his familiar scent, you knew you were holding the real deal. A faint smile appeared on your lips as he stroked the side of your face. 

“Long time no see” He chuckled. 

The first time he’s seen you in two months and that’s the first thing he had to say to you? Normally you’d pull yourself away from him and roll your eyes but it didn’t matter. He was back and he was with you. 

You felt this overwhelming feeling you couldn’t put your finger on. A mixture of feelings. Relief, happiness, peace, excitement. Your eyes met his and you held him close and you weren’t exactly meaning to say it the way you did. It kind of just slipped out but you meant it. 

“I’m ready” You blurted out.

Kakashi had just raised his eyebrow, staring down at you in confusion. On his lips was a little smile hidden behind his mask. “For what?”

“To be with you, I’m ready”

At first he didn’t say anything, just stared at you. You looked up to him expecting something, anything to come out of his mouth. Starting to feel nervous at your confession. 

“So you missed me that much, huh?” Kakashi finally said, sounding pleased with himself.

Your eyes widened as you took a step back from him. You had just laid it all out for him. You wanted to be with him, you wanted him to be your boyfriend and that’s what he said in response. “You’re the one who wanted this from like the very beginning and now you’re playing games with me-“

Kakashi’s nose hovered in front of yours, tugging his mask under his chin. Finally you saw his face, a smile on his lips as he stared into your eyes. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears, completely forgetting what you had been complaining about before.

“I’ll happily be yours” He said before his lips found their ways to yours.

Kissing him after he had been away for so long had felt like finding water in the desert after days of dehydration. Like getting home after a week long mission and dumping your pack at the door.  It was everything you had craved and more. It felt right, felt like home. Kakashi pulled away from you, sighing softly as you stood there staring at each other. 

“Are you going to let me in? I have a lot of lost time to make up for” 

With a light smile on your lips, you moved to the side and allowed your soulmate to enter your home and make up for everything he had missed in the last two months. 


	15. broken water pipe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so incoming domestic fluff in this chapter. I thought it was cute anyways. one more chapter after this and boom fic is finished. I hope y’all enjoy it ♥️ Thanks for leaving comments and kudos I appreciate it and I promise to respond when I’m feeling better (op sick as a dog rn but it’s not covid)

The morning after you got back from a week long mission, Kakashi was on your doorstep. A pack strapped to his back and a smile on his lips.

“Hey, darling. The water pipe in my apartment building is broken and they said it would take a week to fix it”

And that’s how Kakashi managed to dupe you into letting him stay at your apartment for a week. 

It wasn’t that bad, not at all. Most of the time he lay back and read, sometimes he’d take walks around the village by himself for hours and give you your space. Kakashi was kind enough to cook dinner and clean up around the place when you weren’t in, even if he created a giant mess in the process. The second day he stayed, you got back from lunch with Anko and found him giving all eight of his ninken baths. In your bathroom of all places. When you walked in Kakashi nervously laughed and offered you a towel to help dry the wandering dogs off. 

“Watch the paws, pal” Pakkun had said as you dried him off and you looked right at Kakashi who just smiled and shrugged it off.

After that you made him help you take your living room rug to the laundromat, your light coloured rug that was stained with dirty paw prints, completely soaked from multiple dogs drip drying on top of it. Still it wasn’t all bad, the dogs were cute and Kakashi vowed to pay for the rug to be cleaned. Though he was more than willing to make up for it in other ways. 

A new dynamic had been added to your new relationship. Sex. It had happened right after Kakashi had come back to the village. Now you understood what Kurenai was saying. Sex with a soulmate was indescribable. It’s like you became one entity, he knew instantly what to do and so did you. It had strengthened your bond instantly and you felt more of a connection with him than with anyone else. Now Kakashi tried to find any excuse to do it. It wasn’t irritating, you felt the same too it’s just that you had more control over the feeling. If anything you found his excuses and attempts humorous. 

Now that he had seen you completely bare, he had no problem with wearing his mask down around the house. Sometimes it was easier for him to keep it down, always prepared to kiss you when you passed him by. You could tell he had completely given himself over to the feeling and in a way it was kind of cute to see him like a lovesick puppy.

“(Y/N)...time to get up” Kakashi said gently in your ear, holding you close.

You had just ignored him, refusing to give in to his shoulder kisses and slight sultry tone. Just five more minutes and then you’d get up.

“You’ll be late for your meeting if you don’t get up”

With your eyes closed tight, you frowned. Stupid meeting, who has mission meetings at seven thirty in the morning? When you opened your eyes, the clock on your bedside table read  _ 6:04.  _ Reluctantly you removed the covers, shuffling out of bed while you let out a yawn. A quick shower would be the easiest way to wake up, hopefully you’d have enough time for a coffee after you got into your gear. 

Turning on the shower and lazily taking off your bedclothes, your eyes fought to stay open. Perhaps you could take a micro nap under the water. You slipped underneath the warm water, your eyes closed instantly at the contact. Just a couple of minutes of shuteye wouldn’t hurt. Sinking into the warmth from the water, you were suddenly exposed to cold air rushing at you from the side. Your eyes opened wide to see the glass shower door open and a large shadow appear behind you.

“Kakashi?” You gasped in surprise, spinning to meet him. The shower was small enough as it was and It couldn’t be helped that your bodies were squished together. He took advantage of the space, stealing half the water away from you as his hands roamed your body. “What are you doing?”

“Saving water” Kakashi smiled into your skin, his fingers gently grazed your thigh.

“You’re going to make me late” You protested. You didn’t exactly mind he had hopped in even if it was the first time he had ever done something like that, you just didn’t have time to be mucking around with him. 

Kakashi shushed you, reaching over to the shelf in the corner and grabbing a bottle. He spun you around, your face meeting the stream of water as he massaged shampoo into your hair. Instantly you relaxed, allowing him to wash your hair and the back of you. Then he slipped away, leaving you to it. After your shower, there was no sign of him in your bedroom. The clock next to your bed read  _ 6:32 _ so you were making good on time once you quickly got into your gear.

On your kitchen countertop was a cup of freshly made coffee and lounging on your couch was Kakashi in the robe you bought him for Christmas, holding a cup of his own. You were right, the blue really did suit him. 

“What did I do to deserve this?” You asked as you picked up the coffee mug. Having your hair washed and a coffee all ready for you? You must have done something pretty good to earn that.

“Just saying thanks for letting me stay” Kakashi smiled. It was funny even without the mask he still smiled wide with his eyes.

His gratitude instantly made you remember the elephant in the room that only you knew existed. Something you had been meaning to say in the last couple of days in regards to his stay. It didn’t matter right now so you shelved it for later and kept your eyes to your cup in an attempt not to give anything away. 

“Oh by the way, I’m going to brunch with Anko after the meeting. I should be back in the afternoon” You said as you sipped your coffee, leaning against the kitchen countertop. “Then maybe we can go get something for dinner or go out for dinner. I don’t know, we’ll see how we feel later” 

Kakashi had been cooking you dinner for the past four days and while you appreciated it, you did kind of feel bad that he was doing all the work. If you bought take out tonight then maybe it would balance it out. 

“You remember where the spare key is, right?”

Kakashi nodded in response. Under the green pot plant by the front door. Then he reminded you that you needed a better hiding spot for it while you sculled back the rest of your coffee and made sure you had everything you needed. You gave him a quick peck on the lips on your way out, slipping your sandals on before running out the door.

The meeting dragged on for longer than it should. It was an A-rank security mission and you were quite pleased to be assigned, your first A-rank mission in a while. The client was a famous actress who was celebrating her birthday in a few week’s time. At the meeting you discussed the usual. Entrances and exits of the venue, the guest list, people banned from attending, evacuation points. All the fun stuff that came with guarding events. As your eyes scanned the guest list for any famous names, one stuck out to you. One afternoon when you were walking around the village, you had read in a gossip magazine about a few actresses who were rumoured to be in the running for the love interest role in a  _ Make-Out Paradise _ film adaption. One of those names was also on that guest list. Hopefully you’d be able to validate those rumours and have something to dangle over Kakashi’s head when he was bragging about another one of his S-ranks. 

Brunch was nothing out of the ordinary. The two of you feasted on sushi and then went to the bar and got a couple of drinks afterwards. The whole time Anko had gushed about her soulmate to the point where you wondered if Anko had truly meant what she said when she told you it was a platonic connection. According to Anko, her soulmate was taking a month off to come visit her in Konoha and you’d be able to meet her then. There was a one sided unspoken agreement that you were not to humiliate her in front of her soulmate but what were friends good for if not that? So you politely smiled as you thought of the many stories you could bring up  _ ‘on accident’.  _ Either way Anko’s soulmate sounded delightful and you couldn’t wait to meet her.

Speaking of soulmates, you had been drinking and chatting to Anko for far too long and you did happen to tell Kakashi you’d figure out what to do about dinner when you got back. If Kakashi was cooking he usually liked to collect the ingredients needed earlier so you supposed you needed to get back to him. 

“Honey, I’m home” You said playfully as you came through the door. You smiled to yourself, always wanting to say it like they did in the movies.

“Hello, dear” Kakashi’s head instantly popped up from behind the couch, his tone matched your playfulness. “How was your meeting?”

“Oh you know, uneventful,” You said, not wanting to give him even the slightest inkling you might know something else he didn’t just yet. Your keychain spun around your index like a kunai, “so…dinner?”

Kakashi was already dressed and ready to go so the two of you made your way onto the streets of Konoha with no real goal in mind. Just roaming the market stalls, browsing at random things. You had picked up the most hideous vase you could find and showed it to Kakashi. His eyebrow rose at the sight of it, too polite to say it was ugly with the seller nearby. No matter how far you roamed around the market, you would instantly find Kakashi and make your way back to him with your random finds. You had bought some personal items like hair ties and razors, a couple of random CD’s (all in the name of broadening your music taste) and a funny mug that had a sad puppy with crazy white fur. You had drawn a little scar on it’s left eye and laughed when you showed Kakashi, he had just rolled his eyes and took your hand. The next time you came by the market, you’d have to find a black marker to draw a little mask on its face, then the mug would truly be complete. 

There was one bag you refused to show Kakashi. In one of the stores, you held up a strange brown jar and the lady behind the counter explained its use to you. Then you proceeded to throw anything of similar use into a bag. When Kakashi tried to take a little peek, you swiftly objected. Informing him it would be a surprise for later and to your surprise he obeyed, even if you did spot his eye glancing at the bag on your arm multiple times through the afternoon.

You chose dango for dinner, despite Kakashi’s teasing, while he got himself gyoza. Kakashi chose the spot to eat, up on the cliffs overlooking the village. Your feet dangled over the edge next to Kakashi while you ate in shared silence. The sky was a gradient of pinks and oranges slowly fading into purples and deep navy blues and you felt at peace as the sun set over Konoha. 

“So, what horrors are waiting for me in that bag?” Kakashi asked, pointing to the bag you kept closely guarded.

“Should we go home and find out?” You asked as you stood up from the cliff's edge, offering your hand to Kakashi.

Back home you changed out of your clothes into a dark t-shirt and bed shorts, making Kakashi change his clothing too. He was dressed just in shorts and wore his robe over his body loosely, confused as to why you both were changing in the first place. You led him to the couch, throwing the mysterious bag to the side of you. Kakashi stiffened the moment you straddled him, taking him by surprise as you casually dug into the bag and pulled out the first mystery item. A cotton headband. Gently, you moved long white strands away from his face, taking in the small details as you felt his eyes on you. Putting on Kakashi’s headband and your own, you reached for the next mystery item. The brown jar.

“Okay, now what is that?” Kakashi asked, shifting uncomfortably as you opened it.

“The lady at the store said it’s mud” You said as you inspected the inside of the jar closely, “it’s meant to be good for your skin”

“You want me to put mud on my face?” Kakashi asked unsurely.

“Come on, you’ve had worse stuff on your face” You shrugged off his concerns, as a shinobi you could speak first hand about the amount of blood you’ve had on your face during your career. Quickly you dipped your fingers into the jar and smeared brown mud down Kakashi’s cheek. “Whoops” You smiled innocently.

Kakashi gasped as soon as the mud touched his skin, his one open eye widened. He was silent and still and that kind of startled you. That was until he dipped his own fingers into the jar and smeared your face with a bit of mud too. Your laughter filled the room as he rubbed it in while you squirmed away, his other arm had a firm grip around your waist so you couldn’t escape. After he had finished smearing it on your face, he let you apply the rest of it on his face without protest.

“So what’s the point of all this?” Kakashi asked as you lay your head in his lap, waiting for the mud to dry.

“It’s meant to be relaxing” You mumbled, trying your best not to crack your mask

“My skin feels tight” Kakashi complained, fingers tapping on your chest impatiently. 

“That means it’s working now shut up before you crack your mask”

As soon as it was dry, you led Kakashi to the bathroom. Gently removing the mud with a washcloth before cleaning your own face. Pumping some random serum the lady at the store told you to try in your hand, you took the time to carefully rub it into Kakashi’s skin. Both of his hands leaned on the bathroom countertop, watching you in the mirror quietly as you rubbed the serum into your own face. Both of your faces had a little shine to it as you waited for the serum to dry. 

It was funny, this all felt quite domestic. Waking up next to him, shopping with him, eating dinner with him, doing a facemask with him. If someone had told you ten years ago that this would be your fate, you would have laughed in their face. Now you were glad it was. As you accepted more and more of him, the happier you felt. It was like you had been living in darkness for so long and he was that crack of light that made its way through. It was happiness you were reclaiming after years of carrying grief and loneliness on your shoulders and although you were slowly moving towards happiness, at least you were moving towards it.

“What do you think? Am I just as radiant as you?” Kakashi asked, one eye smiling down at you.

On your tiptoes, you reached up to plant a kiss on his lips. Humming in reply to his question. Before you could escape him, his hand tugged at the bottom of your shirt.

“Is that my shirt?” He asked as he inspected the fabric. It was a plain shirt and could have easily been your own which is why you thought he hadn’t noticed until now. 

“Yeah, I didn’t want to get mud on mine” You laughed.

Your laughter was short lived. Kakashi had picked you up with ease and put you over his shoulder, muttering something about you being a brat. Your fists thumped on his back as you tried to squirm your way down but it was no use. He casually took you from the bathroom and laid you down on your bed, straddling you so you couldn’t escape. As your eyes stared into his, you wondered if it would be like this forever, if you would feel this way forever. Calm and peaceful. 

“So…do you have something you want to tell me?”

“I love…” Kakashi at first spoke so casually it was as if it slipped out without him thinking about it. You felt yourself stiffen under him, your breath hitched. Was he going to say what you thought he was going to say? No, he caught himself just in time. “...spending time with you”

“Hmm…that’s sweet but that's not it” You shook your head gently, waiting for him to reveal his secrets. Instead he looked at you slightly puzzled, you watched as he considered his next worlds and then you decided you’d help him out. “The water in your building has been fine the whole time”

Kakashi’s eye widened at the reveal of his little secret. “When did you...how?”

You had found out fairly early on into his stay. It must have been on that second day, the day you came home to see the hounds parading around your apartment. Anko had been teasing you about Kakashi secretly moving in when you spotted Iwashi walking by. He lived in Kakashi’s building so you figured you’d ask him about the water situation only to be told the water never needed fixing in the first place. At first you freaked out while Anko cackled, on the walk home you thought about confronting him about it. Then you walked into chaos and put it to the side while you helped wash and dry the hounds. 

The night went on and you thought heavily about why he would make up an excuse to stay with you. By the time he made you a cup of green tea before bed, you realised it wasn’t important. You were just enjoying spending the time with him. So you decided not to confront him about it until now and even then you weren’t exactly confronting him about it, merely bragging that you knew when he thought you were none the wiser.

You smirked, averting your gaze playfully. “I have my ways. You really had the wool pulled over my eyes for a couple of days there”

“Why did you continue to let me stay if you already knew?”

“I guess I like having your company” You said. “Also my place hasn’t been this tidy in awhile” 

Kakashi had a far higher standard of cleanliness than you did and you noticed your bookshelf had been dusted along with your windowsills. He had also managed to get a wine stain out of one of the couch cushions so that was a bonus.

“Should I go home tomorrow then?” Kakashi asked. He left gentle kisses on your jawline, it’s almost as if he was trying to convince you into letting him stay just a little longer.

You didn’t need to be teased or convinced, you had already decided the moment you let it go days ago. “Eh, what’s one more night?”


	16. open home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so we’ve arrive at the last chapter before the epilogue 😭 it’s a big one at around 5000 words so I would strap in tight. Im pretty nervous to post this but I hope you enjoy ♥️

With a spring in your step, you left the fourth open home you had attended this fine afternoon. Flyer in your hand with an advertisement for the next open home you were planning to attend today. You were dressed nicely, not a single piece of shinobi gear on your body, it was such a rarity you gave yourself a fright passing by one of the mirrors in the last house. Slightly tiddly from the free wine they were handing out, more like pushing onto you, at each place you looked at.

“(Y/N)?” You heard someone call your name when you began to walk in the streets to the next place. Instantly your head whipped behind you, not expecting to hear that voice for another three more days. 

“Kakashi?” You were shocked to see your boyfriend standing right there on the street, hands stuffed in his pockets as he stared at you like you had two heads and three legs. “You didn’t tell me you were coming back early”

“Wanted to surprise you. Now, are you going to tell me what’s all this about” 

At first you wondered what he meant by  _ ‘all this’, _ you didn’t think you were doing anything strange until it clicked. 

“Oh!” You exclaimed as you looked down at your clothing, looking back up to him quickly. You weren’t one to normally be out and about without your gear on, only on rare occasions so of course that would make Kakashi think something was up. “I’ve been trying to find something to fill my time since no ones around so I’ve been going to expensive open homes pretending to be a rich buyer”

The expression on Kakashi’s face turned from confused to slight disappointment. You were a jonin ranked shinobi of this village and instead of spending your time training or doing something productive, you were spending your time parading around expensive homes you had absolute zero intention of buying. At least it was  _ something _ to do. 

“Don’t look at me like that. Did you want to come with me? I’m heading to the last one now” You invited him, your head nodded in the direction of the next place.

Kakashi smiled lightly, taking your hand. It was nice having him back again even if he hadn’t been gone for that long. While you walked you discussed the mission he had come back from. A solo intel mission with details classified but he could let you in on where he was. Just on the coast in the Land of Fire. You had tugged on the hem of his mask, teasing him about tan lines. He of course rolled his one eye at you and teased you about how at least he doesn’t need to attend open homes to get a thrill. 

Finally you turned up to the place. It was a townhouse on the outskirts of the village with white wooden boards on the exterior. It was beautiful and you couldn’t hide the delight on your features as you stopped to admire it. 

As you walked up the path leading to the front door, you turned to Kakashi. “Whatever you do, don’t look the agent directly in the eye”

“What? Why not?” Kakashi asked, confused as to why it would be so bad to look a real estate agent in the eye. He had looked worse people in the eye before. 

“They’re bigger snakes than the ones you can find in Ryūchi Cave” 

You had only bought one house in your life and that was the one you were living in now. Not only were you extremely vulnerable due to the death of your parents but your family home had been destroyed too. Taking the payout from the village, you decided to invest it into your own place. The agent preyed upon that fact, not informing you about the severe damage to the water pipes when you bought the place. You remember having to go to your mentor's place to shower until you could save up enough money from missions to fix it and that took a while because of genin mission pay. From then on, real estate agents were just a tier above enemy ninja in your eyes. 

“Wanna know why they give you free wine for houses like this?” You had leaned towards Kakashi as you asked, lingering by the front door. Kakashi shook his head, having no idea why agents would do such a thing unless it was to be hospitable. “Because by the third house you’re drunk enough to buy the damn place” 

After slipping off your sandals at the door and signing in under some false but fancy sounding name, you were ready to collect your free glass of wine and start taking a look around. Kakashi had taken a glass of wine too, only to hold on to it for when you finished your own glass. 

Downstairs had a nice open flow from the living room, dining room and kitchen with a sliding door connecting the backyard. The hallway had archways leading into the kitchen and living room with a seperate room for a washing machine and a small bathroom tucked behind the staircase. The floorboards in the living area were a polished dark oak and the kitchen backsplash had light grey tiles to contrast the white tiles on the floor, the white cabinets and dark countertops. There was an island that could fit up to three people and the backyard was small but tidy and easy to maintain. 

The dark oak floorboards continued upstairs where there were two bedrooms and a study. The master bedroom had an ensuite and a sizable wardrobe. The ensuite had a large shower, large enough to fit two while there was also a separate corner bathtub and a double vanity. The master bedroom wasn’t too big or too small, it was perfectly sized for a large bed and two sets of drawers plus any other necessary furnishings like side tables and tall mirrors. There was a feature wall where the bed was placed, a light cream colour with haunting dead trees in a darker shade as an accent. It contrasted with the flooring beautifully. 

“Ugh, if I had a dream home this would be it” You sighed with a smile as you lay on the bed in the master bedroom. Even the display furniture was comfortable. 

“Hopefully one day you won’t have to dream,” Kakashi said as he stood at the end of the bed, arms crossed as he stared down at you spreading out on the white duvet, “but in the meantime you should probably get off the bed”

“Shh, I’m living my rich person fantasy” You dismissed him, waving off his concerns as he glanced to the doorway to check no one else was around.

Eventually you heard footsteps coming upstairs and you immediately sprung from the bed and pretended like you weren’t just lying on top of it. There’s no way you wanted to get banned from any open homes any time soon. This was the most fun you had in a long time. 

When you were leaving the house the agent stopped you and asked for your opinion so you told him the place was average at best and you could do much better. It was a lie of course but you didn’t appreciate being stopped especially by some nosey real estate agent. There was no way you could do better than that, not unless it was some elegant three story mansion overlooking the entire village which didn’t exist. 

Leaving the place with your hand in his, you asked Kakashi a very simple question: my place or yours? The answer was his and off you went back to Kakashi’s. 

Walking past Ichiraku, you saw a head pop out from behind the curtain as if he had a sixth sense. It was Yamato, smiling at the two of you and your entwined hands. “Kakashi, (Y/N). Down for some ramen?”

“As long as you’re paying,” Kakashi said with a shrug, gently guiding you towards the restaurant. You sighed with a smile, such a cheapskate. 

Kakashi had ordered your usual for you after taking a seat next to Yamato, he sat in between the two of you and listened as Yamato politely asked you about your day and recent missions. Yamato was someone you genuinely liked. He was someone who always made an effort to ask about you and he took a lot of pride in leading Kakashi’s team for him. Sometimes he was overly happy for the two of you but at least Kakashi had friends who wanted nothing more than to see him happy. 

“So, I’m sure Kakashi has told you already,” Yamato said as Ayame pushed bowls of ramen towards the three of you. 

With your eyebrow raised, your eyes shifted between Yamato and Kakashi. Kakashi hadn't told you anything important in the last couple of hours so you had zero idea what he was talking about. “Told me what?”

“Actually I haven’t yet, we've been busy looking at houses” Kakashi said as he prepared to pull his mask down quickly to get a mouthful of ramen in. 

“Taking the next step huh? Didn’t know you had it in you Kakashi” Yamato said with a smile, his hand came down on Kakashi’s shoulder as a form of congratulations to his favourite couple.

Kakashi shook his head at Yamato’s claim, chopsticks in hand playing with his noodles. “No, they just wanted free wine” 

“Hey!” You slapped Kakashi gently on the arm. it was not just about the free wine, it was about the experience that you’d never get to live otherwise. There was nothing wrong with indulging in the high life for a moment. “So what are you hiding then huh?”

“Kakashi here is gonna be around the village a lot more now. I kinda need some help with the kids” Yamato’s arm came around Kakashi’s shoulder and he gave him a little shake. You could tell Yamato was excited about having his old friend back and around. 

You were silent for a moment. Was it selfish that you were glad he was going to be around more? It felt slightly selfish. Sometimes you and Kakashi could be two ships passing in the night. You were getting higher ranked missions now which was great but sometimes you wouldn’t see your boyfriend unless you were passing him at the gate. Him coming back from a mission and you leaving for one. Those kinds of weeks and months felt the hardest and it was always worth the wait to see him but you sometimes wished it wasn’t the case. Hopefully with him around more, things would be different. 

“You’d think Yamato would be able to handle three brats on his own but I guess not” Kakashi sighed playfully earning himself a hard punch to the upper arm by his close friend.

“Very funny, senpai” 

“That's great news, hun” You finally spoke, a light smile on your lips as you played with the broth using the spoon in your hand.

“I thought so too” Kakashi said as his finger tapped your nose which caused you to huff for a second and turn back to your meal. 

You wondered why he hadn’t told you straight away. Maybe he hadn't found the right time yet, maybe he was just waiting until you got back to his. Either way it wasn’t a big deal you had to find out from Yamato, you were sure he would have told you eventually. 

“You know, I really admire what the two of you have. Seeing you guys in love makes me wonder if I’ll ever have it too”

“In love?” You laughed, almost spitting out a spoonful of your broth. That was the first you had ever heard of it. When you looked between Kakashi and Yamato you realised that Yamato was being serious and Kakashi looked slightly surprised at your momentary outburst.

“Are we not?” Kakashi asked, his head leaning in his hand. You couldn’t tell if he was joking or being actually serious but the look in his eye told you he was expecting an answer. You sure as hell weren’t going to answer it, not in front of Yamato.

You leaned past Kakashi to pat Yamato’s knee, hoping the friendly gesture could comfort him in any way. 

“Listen Yamato, a friend of mine once told me that soulmates find each other when they’re ready because the universe just pushes them together like that. Maybe yours isn’t ready yet, maybe they’re scared right now but they’re not always going to be. When you find them it’s going to be worth the wait, you’ll never want to let them go. You’re going to find you have a connection with someone that you’ve never had before in your life with anyone else. You’re going to feel so much love and happiness, so don’t give up. I believe you’ll find them one day” You tried to reassure him the best you could, really reaching deep inside yourself to do so. 

“Do you think it will be just like you guys?” Yamato asked, still in need of extra assurance. At this point you were willing to track his soulmate down yourself and drag them to him. Yamato was a great guy, he deserved to meet his soulmate more than anyone else. 

You had wanted to laugh but refrained from doing so. Your relationship wasn’t exactly the greatest love story of the century. He ignored you as kids and you played childish games with him for two whole months. Of course you had respect for him as a shinobi but you could not stand him as a person. It had taken a lot of time and a lot of slowly building something from the ground up to get where the two of you were now. He was your partner, your soulmate. The only time you didn’t wake up next to him these days was when either one of you was on a mission. He knew your ramen order and the way you liked your coffee. You knew his shirt size and all of the favourite places he liked to be touched. It wasn’t built in a day but you knew it would stand up against the test of time. 

“Yeah, just like us” Kakashi said with a smile as his hand landed on your thigh. You felt yourself stiffen, not at where his hand was placed but at his words but then you eased into it, a soft smile on your lips. 

_ ‘I don’t think there’s anyone else like us in this entire world’  _ You thought to yourself.

After ramen, you and Kakashi made your way back to his place. With his hand holding your own, you were deep in thought as you walked through the village streets. So deep in thought your responses were slightly off when Kakashi tried to talk to you. 

Did you love Kakashi? You weren’t exactly experienced with that sort of thing. Only feeling love from your parents and Anko. It was a different type of love, love from family and although Anko wasn’t related to you, she still was like the sister you never had. It wasn’t like this, this feeling you had when you were with Kakashi or even without him. When you were with him, he was an endless source of comfort and warmth you didn’t want to be ripped from but when you were ripped away from each other to serve your duties to the village, you found yourself feeling cold and slightly lost. You stared up at him thinking about it while you walked through the village. He’d turn to you and smile and you found yourself smiling too before you turned away to think some more. 

“Is that how you feel about soulmates?” Kakashi asked out of the blue and the question caught your attention instantly.

“Sorry? What was that?” You asked, coming back to reality from inside your mind. 

“When you told Yamato about the universe and soulmates, is that how you feel?”

At first you thought he was asking if you were spiritual and you would have to say somewhat yes to that question. Maybe you weren’t the most spiritual person in the world but there had to be at least some divine higher being causing all of this. Then you looked deeper, staring gently at his mask covered face. He wasn’t asking that at all. He was asking if you felt that way about him. Did you believe you were pushed together by fate? Did you never want to let him go? Were you initially scared of your connection? Was he worth the wait? Did you feel like you had a connection with him that you didn’t have anyone else? Did you feel love and happiness with him?

“Yeah I do” You answered, nodding your head gently. Hopefully that answered his question because you meant every word you said to Yamato. It wasn’t just some lie to comfort him. 

Kakashi simply nodded in response, looking ahead instead of at you. He looked as if he was thinking maybe just as hard as you were. You didn’t ask him what his thoughts were but wondered if it was about your answer to his question. You had looked up to him a couple of times throughout your walk, wondering if you should ask him how he felt or if you should ask him if he was okay. You didn’t need to, he would squeeze your hard and that was enough to tell you that he was just fine. 

You had taken two steps into Kakashi’s before he managed to charm you out of your clothes and tangle you up in his sheets. He had been away for two and a half weeks, that might as well have been two months in soulmate time. Afterwards you just lay in his bed, lazing about. There was no need to get dinner after getting ramen so you could lay there for the rest of the day if you truly wanted to. 

“What about this one?” 

Your finger gently ran down one of the many faded red lines of scar tissue on Kakashi’s back. He lay on his stomach, his arms acting like a pillow as he embraced your touch and curiosity.

“Hmm…I can’t remember,” Kakashi said, his eyes were closed and his face peaceful, “must have been when I was in the Anbu”

Swapping battle scar stories wasn’t exactly romantic pillow talk but you took turns pointing out the many scars the two of you had gained after years of service to the village. You didn’t need to ask about the very small white lines scattered all over his back and chest, you already could tell that would be from having various shuriken thrown at him over the years. You had similar scars like that of your own.

“This one?” Kakashi asked as fingers ran down the scar on your shoulder. Slightly thick but small and pale after years of healing.

You checked which one he stroked, sighing as you realised which one it was. “My squad was practising throwing kunai when we were genin and I had one thrown at me on accident” 

Kakashi’s finger immediately pointed to a small scar on the back of his shoulder. Small but deep, almost invisible as time had passed since he received it. “Obito accidentally threw a kunai at my back when I was walking away once. Well, at the time I thought it was an accident, looking back on it now I don’t think it was” 

“What is up with having teammates with terrible aim?” You slightly laughed, your face coming closer to Kakashi’s. Your lips brushed passed his own, landing on his cheek to slightly tease him.

“So...I’ve been thinking…” Kakashi said, looking off into the distance almost nervously as he spoke. 

“That’s dangerous” You added playfully, unable to contain the smile on your face. You bet he wished he thought of that one before you did. 

“Ha, ha” Kakashi said dryly, rolling his one eye before he went back to saying whatever he was going to say. “As I was saying...I’ve been thinking about us and I think maybe it’s time to get a place of our own…”

“Don’t tell me what Yamato said has gotten into your head” You giggled as you tapped one of his temples gently. You were only being playful, not intending to dismiss him.

“Has Yamato gotten into your head too? You’ve been thinking a little too hard, I can tell…” Kakashi asked, smoothing stray hairs away from your face. 

His one eye stared at you with that look, the one that told you he saw right through you as if you were made of glass. Every little gentle furrow of your brow, every time your eyes narrowed while you reflected on something, every time your silence was not out of comfort but out of consideration to your thoughts. Kakashi noticed it all and as much as it was terrifying for someone to know you so intimately like that, it also made your heart swell that someone cared for you enough to notice, that  _ he _ cared enough for you to notice. 

He was right though. Yamato’s comment had been stuck in your head all afternoon. The one about the two of you being in love. He said it so normally like it was just a fact. That’s how he saw the two of you, in love. Is that how you appeared to others? When you walked in the streets side by side, hand in hand did they see the two of you as happy? You had never really thought how it would look to anyone else. Sometimes when you were with Kakashi he was all you could see, as if you had tunnel vision. 

If that’s what people thought then they weren’t wrong. You were happy with Kakashi, the happiest you had been in a very long time. The kind of happy that doesn’t come from a bottle, the kind of happy that came with feeling full for once. No longer needing to try and stuff anyone or anything to fill the emptiness left by years of loneliness. You meant it when you said Yamato would find love and happiness with his soulmate because you had found the exact same thing with your own. After thinking about it all afternoon, you had finally come to a conclusion while laying next to him. You did love him, you loved him with everything you had. Facing this fact didn’t seem to scare you, it just made you feel whole. 

“We don’t have to do it straight away, I want you to feel comfortable about it of course. It’s just that I think I’m ready to start a new chapter of my life. I don’t want home to be a place where I dump my stuff and sleep anymore and the only way home will ever truly feel like home is with you there because I love you. So, what do you say?” 

He said it so casually and your heart skipped a beat. Not only was he asking you to move in with him, he was telling you that you felt like home and on top of that, he was telling you that he loved you. Loud and clear. 

You left a gentle kiss on his lips, your hand cupped his cheek as you did so. It was the only response you could give him. As your forehead touched his, you closed your eyes to embrace the moment. 

“Is that a yes?” Kakashi asked, needing reassurance. 

“Yeah, it’s a yes” You said gently against his lips, smiling as you nodded. “I’ll have to sell my place first though, so we can have a decent down payment”

“You won’t need to worry about that” Kakashi said, seeming quite confident in his claim. 

“Why not?” You asked him. 

Selling your place to get enough money for a down payment would be the way to go. You didn’t have anything to pay off on your place because you bought it entirely with cash years ago. This way you would be able to buy a place twice the price of your own which would allow double the options for houses to pick. 

“What do you think a cheapskate does with all his money?” 

Finances weren’t exactly something the two of you talked about, you just naturally assumed he was in the same boat as you. Though when you thought about it, it was kind of foolish to think that. He had been in the Anbu for almost a decade doing high rank missions, of course he was being paid good money to do so. Even out of the Anbu he was still going on high rank missions so it’s not like he would be strapped for cash. All of that plus the fact that his apartment wasn’t anything flashy and he didn’t waste his paycheck on expensive decor and shots at the bar. Of course he had money. 

You felt yourself wanting to protest about paying your fair share too but you quickly shut yourself down. The man just said he loves you and he wants to take care of you, for once in your life you’d let it slide and just accept the generosity. At least when you sold your place you’d be able to buy some more stuff for your new house, whenever the two of you found a place of course. Perhaps you could get yourself one of those giant beds like they had at the open home or even one those expensive duvets with duck down stuffing. 

Kakashi was comfortably silent as he laid back, thinking as he stared at the wall. You had just stared up at him and tried to decipher what he was thinking about by the look in his eye. That’s when you realised you hadn’t told him that you shared his earlier sentiment. Grabbing a pen from the side table, you clicked the top down and began to put words to skin. 

“Whatcha writing there?” He asked curiously as he leaned towards you, trying to take a peek at the ink on your skin.

Quickly, you leaned away from him, almost falling off the bed in the process. You kept your wrist to yourself. “Don’t look!”

“Guess, I’m going to find out soon enough” Kakashi smirked, leaning back with one arm under his head, his wrist held out in front of him as he waited for the marks to appear.

You waited in anticipation, wanting to tear your eyes away from his wrist. You held your own close to your chest, hiding it from Kakashi. When the ink started to appear on Kakashi’s wrist in front of you, your hands came up to your face. One eye peeking from behind a gap inbetween your fingers. His face was bare and you could see every little twitch of his lips and nose. First he had that pleased with himself smirk on his face but when the characters finally formed that smirk disappeared. 

_ I love you too _

Still watching through your fingers, his face was still, his eye narrowed as he stared intensely down at his wrist. His arm came away instantly from under his head and his fingers grazed each character with consideration. It’s funny, he’s the one that said it first and yet he was so quiet now. 

“I didn’t know how to say it back...outloud” You said quietly as your hands came away from your face, trying to make the silence feel less intimidating. 

Suddenly you felt the weight of a grown adult man on top of you, quickly leaving kisses all over your face like an excited puppy. You couldn’t help but giggle, a way to cover up how you were a little overwhelmed with the intensity of your boyfriend's affections.

Kakashi calmed down, allowing you to breathe as he hovered over you. Staring down at you thoughtfully with a smile on his lips. “You didn’t need to say it. I already knew”

“Psh, as if you did” You scoffed. Then again he seemed to know you pretty well, maybe he knew before you even knew it yourself. 

Maybe he had understood your answer to his question while you walked home. Perhaps he interpreted it as a confession of love all without you having to say it. Either way you were glad to have said it now, that way you could say it all the time because it was how you felt, truly.

For a brief moment you closed your eyes, sighing gently. “I love you” You said out loud, your eyes opening to see his features filled with a peaceful happiness, one you felt too. 

“I love you too” Kakashi said, his finger stroking your jawline. 

It was dark outside when you eventually put your clothes back on and went to drink tea. Every so often Kakashi would come up behind you, quickly kissing your check and telling you he loves you. Saying it so often as if the last time he told you was a week ago rather than five minutes ago. You just smiled and said it back, watching as Kakashi smiled to himself over it. The two of you had grown up with lonely lives but now that you had each other you’d never have to walk alone again. 

When you laid back on the couch sipping your tea, glancing over to Kakashi as he read quietly, you realised something. Your relationship with Kakashi was comparable to going to a movie. Based on your first impressions of the poster, you thought it would suck. Reluctantly you bought tickets and took your seat expecting to hate the movie and every minute you were stuck watching it. But when all was said and done and credits rolled you found that you had warmed up to it, enjoyed every second of it. Coming out of the theatre you realised that you had found a movie you would love for life. 


	17. epilogue

The early morning sunrise leaked through the small gaps of the blinds and you felt your boyfriend nuzzle his face deeper into your neck. Your eyes flickered open and the first thing you saw in the bedroom you shared with Kakashi were various different photo frames sitting on the windowsill. 

A year ago, Kakashi had asked you if you wanted to get a place together and shortly after that you left for a two week mission. When you returned, Kakashi had happily informed you he had found a place. Not only that but he went ahead and bought it. At first you had asked him what the hell was he thinking but then he took you to the place and all was forgiven after a short lecture about responsible decision making. The fool bought the damn place you had taken him when you were snooping at open homes. The one you said was your dream home. 

On the windowsill were Kakashi’s usual photos. His squad photos and the photo you had gifted him for his birthday except now there were a couple new frames around the room. One of them was of your first Christmas together and Kakashi had made one of his shadow clones take the photo, the other one was of your first anniversary except Gai had crashed the dinner and insisted on taking it for the two of you. 

Next to Kakashi’s squad photos, there was a gap that seemed out of place, only it wasn’t. It was a gap waiting to be filled by your own squad photo, an updated squad photo. The other one from when you were young sat on the bookshelf in the living room downstairs. A month ago you had been made a jonin leader and that meant you would be in charge of your own squad of genin. At first this intimidated you and you felt hesitant but Kakashi assured you that you would do just fine. Hell, maybe even better than he did. In a couple of weeks time, you’d meet your three genin and do your best to ensure they would grow into fine shinobi. 

Kakashi could feel you were waking up, your slight twitches gave it away. He was always up earlier than you, a significantly lighter sleeper than yourself but he would hold you and close his eyes while he waited for you to wake. 

“Morning, soulmate” Kakashi whispered, you hummed in reply. 

“Morning, honey” you grumbled, rubbing your eyes before you turned over to face him.

“Did you sleep well?” Kakashi asked, you nodded and gave him a quick peck on the lips. You always slept well with him by your side.

Living with Kakashi was a lot easier than you expected, comparable to a permanent sleepover. 

It was slightly how you imagined it. One hand holding a basket while the other held his hand as you spent your late mornings down at the market picking stuff out for dinner. Parting afterwards to do your own thing but you always had someone to come home to at the end of the day. You had become a better cook thanks to your wonderful teacher, cooking a meal at least twice a week when you were home. There had been some mishaps of course but you hadn’t managed to set the place on fire yet so at least you had that going for you. 

Lazy days were spent in bed or lying in the grass in your backyard with Kakashi’s head on your chest as you watched the clouds and ran your fingers through his hair. You did all of your chores on a Sunday. Washing dishes and clothes, mopping the hardwood floors and dusting the window sills and shelves. You’d sneak up behind Kakashi, wanting to say something silly or dirty just to see his reaction only for him to disappear in a cloud of smoke. That’s when Kakashi would come home with his tail between his legs and help you with the rest, sweet talking his way out of punishment every time. 

“What are we going to do today?” You asked as you stared at him, your noses lightly touched.

“Let’s figure that out later,” Kakashi said as he rolled onto his back. 

He leaned over to the bedside table beside him, grabbing a pen and scribbling on his wrist. You watched him with curiosity, your head propped up by your arm as you watched. Whatever he was writing was quick and to the point and you stared at your left wrist as you waited for the words to appear.

Kakashi laid back by your side and smiled up at you as the word faintly started to appear on your wrist.

“ _ Hatake _ ?” You read the word out loud, your eyebrow rose in confusion. “Are you trying to brand me or something?”

“I like seeing my name on your skin” Kakashi said as he took your wrist and kissed it gently, “You know, I think it suits you. Don’t you think?”

You lightly smiled at your boyfriend, laying back down with your head resting on the pillow. You stared at the characters on your wrist, thinking deeply about it for a moment. 

“Are you…” You looked at Kakashi suspiciously, he just grinned at you while he waited for you to connect the dots.

“Am I what?”

You huffed slightly at his devious manner, wishing he would just get to the point of whatever he was trying to say. Staring down at your wrist in silence, you stared at his name. Fingers grazing over the marks as you thought about it. 

Kakashi thought you were still confused and you still slightly were, he left soft kisses on your shoulder, trailing up to your neck. The words he whispered into your skin left a chill running down your spine. 

“(Y/N) Hatake,” Kakashi said, you could feel him smiling into your neck, “kinda has a ring to it”

That's when it clicked, what he was trying to say. Your cheeks felt hot and your eyes widened before you relaxed. Kakashi’s face was no longer in your neck, he was staring at you awaiting your response or reaction. You thought about it some more. Said the name to yourself in your mind over a dozen times until it didn’t sound real. Hell, it didn’t even sound real coming from his mouth the first tim. He traced circles on your skin almost nervously, you could tell he was because he was doing it over and over in the same spot. Then you came out of your thoughts, smiling as your eyes met his. 

“Yeah,” You said to him, “it does.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pheew! Okay I have a lot to say.
> 
> Firstly I want to thank everyone who read this fic. Everyone who commented, left kudos, put it in their bookmarks or even like glanced at it. I am so thankful for everyone coming on this very long journey with me for real!! A lot of everyone’s reactions and comments really shaped this fic so a massive thank you thank you!!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it and the ending was satisfying. Anyways I am on tumblr at spacecadetal if you’re interested and I think I’m going to write a couple of one shots instead of series in the near future 🤪


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